Oooklahoma!

Coming back to school after Thanksgiving break just isn't right.

See? Red dirt IS weird!

I've spent the last few days relaxing in Oklahoma. I live in Kansas, so the red dirt is kind of weird. Also, I don't get the OU-OSU rivalry thing (what's a Sooner, anyway?). But I can't be thankful enough for the time I had there, and more importantly, for the friends I have there.

Oddly enough, though, one of my most defining memories for the trip wasn't until the last day we were there.

We visited a church with our friends that we've been to before, and the entire experience is worth recounting. Just a snippet will do, though.

We headed to Sunday School (do they still call it that?) with our friends. It was a little awkward, but we had been in the class before. We climbed the stairs and entered after they finished praying (because we were late, but who's counting?). As we searched for seats, none of the people in the class seemed to mind that they were being intruded upon by strangers. They were ready to learn, share, and grow, regardless of our presence. And I'm so thankful for that.

We took our seats, and the topic of discussion for the morning was rather routine: "What are you thankful for?" Naturally, after celebrating a holiday of American imperialism and over-indulgence, we have to give ourselves a pat on the back for how awesome we are, right? Thankfully, though, that wasn't the course that this discussion took.

It was amazing to listen to this class disclose their lives to me, a stranger (and one who blogs, at that!). We went around the room, sharing what we were grateful for, and out of the fifteen or so people in the room, not a single one said, "I'm thankful that we have money," or "I'm thankful we have a nice car."

Instead, time and time again, people rehashed how thankful they were for their families. For the class we were sitting in. For their health. 

And that one hit me hard. Almost every single person in the room who went before me was thankful for good health. And as they talked about how their families were in tip-top shape health-wise, I'm sure they didn't realize how frustrating that was to me. How much I miss being healthy.

But ruminating on past losses wasn't the point of the exercise, so I tried as best I could to fight it through with God in that little time I had. I wrestled with him, in front of friends and strangers in a strange place with red dirt, and I think I won.

And by "I won," I mean, "He kicked my butt."

You see, I have health. I can walk, for the most part. I can even exercise on occasion, and that feels great. What's not to be thankful for?

So that day, I told a room of strangers, without disclosing details, about my biggest insecurity. Though they may not have realized it, I shared a piece of myself in one simple sentence that I can hide from the rest of the world, if I please.

I said, "I'm thankful that I was able to climb the stairs today."

And I was. I was thankful that I was healthy enough to climb the stairs to get to that class. But more than that, I was thankful to be there, amongst a group who shares a bond of love that supersedes geographic boundaries. A group who was thankful in spite of the fact that, while they were praying as we arrived, tears of pain and brokenness were flowing.

So although I may have a particular distaste for the reason we celebrate Thanksgiving, its reminder is important to me, and I want to share that with you: be thankful always.

What are you thankful for today?

Missed Opportunities

Is it bad to laugh at a 2 year old when he cries? Because my nephew cries like the world is over at pretty much everything.

Yesterday was... Well, it was less than thrilling. 

Didn't blog, to the world's dismay.

Went to the Tag Office to renew my tag.

Aired up a flat tire.

Yeah, exciting stuff.

Please tell me that your day was more exciting than mine?

What's funny, though, is that the day could've been a lot more memorable. Unfortunately, I have a lot of suck in me and missed a few opportunities.

(Read: I missed a lot of opportunities.)

I didn't blog, which would've been a chance (hopefully) to brighten someone's day. I'm still fighting some doubt about my writing abilities, and I let those consume that opportunity without a second thought.

Later, I begrudgingly dragged myself to the Tag Office. I got my number (which was #9, and #5 was up when I arrived there) and proceeded to sit by the ticket machine, where I could've easily made someone's day by handing them my number and taking their as they walked in. The five minute wait wouldn't have killed me.

I left the Tag Office, opportunity missed, and drove down the street to air up our stubborn flat tire. It only goes flat about once every 10 days or so. I pulled up and had to wait on a man who was airing the tire. Now, I like to think that I'm not ageist, but the guy I was waiting on was older, and I'm guessing he could've used my help. Those air pumps are not meant to be operated by a single person, let alone a single person over the age of 60.

Opportunity missed.

My suck level hit a whole new high yesterday.

It makes me wonder, though: what opportunities have I already missed today?

Should I have blogged earlier so that somebody could start their day off on a high note? 

Has my attitude consumed any "Tag Office" opportunities today?

Have I let my fear of embarrassment keep me from making someone else's day a little easier?

Here's to hoping that we can all suck a little less today than we did yesterday.

Church with a T-Rex

What is it about Mondays that makes people so turkey tired?

I had an interesting experience yesterday.

I worshiped God, along with a lot of people that I love, while a T-Rex was breathing down my neck.

(No, I'm not just saying that because I'm watching Toy Story 3 with my nephew.)

It was odd, to say the least. In a museum filled with ancient relics, war memorabilia, and dinosaur bones, God was alive and moving, and we were there to experience it.

We're in town, visiting our wonderful families for Thanksgiving, so we went to church with Kalyn's family on Sunday, and it was a lot of fun. It was refreshing time where we were able to give thanks amongst a bunch of dead bones who no longer could.

This isn't really an advertisement for their church, though, as much as it's an encouragement and a reminder.

Soon (and most likely sooner than we think), we won't have a chance to express our thankfulness anymore. To experience life in its brevity. To enjoy our wonderful friends and family, the people who love us.

Today, regardless of your circumstances, give thanks. Remember where you've been, and take a moment to enjoy where you're going.

And if worst comes to worst, just remember this:

Even in a place of dry bones and forgotten memories, God is alive and moving.

There's no doubt in my mind that he's moving in your life as well.

... ... ... 

EDIT: Apparently one of my 111 goals this year was to visit a museum! Yes!

Reflections

I'm scared. I'm nervous.

What if I've lost "it?" What if I never had "it?"

Will my friends notice? Will my family care?

Why did I stop in the first place? 

Why did I even start in the first place?

As I've thought about sitting at this keyboard to write, these are the thoughts that have been swirling amidst everything else that occupies my life.

School, relationships, work, sickness, exercise, holidays. It's all a jumbled mess, but somewhere in there is my dormant desire to be sitting here, right here where I am, writing.

My feet are freezing. But my coffee is warm. My hands are out of practice, and my mind is trying to recollect, to reorganize. It's like riding a bike, but much more vulnerable. I can't skin my knees, but I can rub my heart the wrong way if I'm not careful.

How did I ever do this before?

The thoughts continue.

Regardless of those thoughts, though. I'm here. I'm typing, or writing (if that's what you want to call this jumbled mess).

I'm back because I need to be. Because I've realized this last month and a half that life will always be there to get in the way of what you love to do. I will always be sick and taking extra medicine. I will always have work to do. I will always have relationships to tend to, people to love.

I want, though, above all else, to always be writing, regardless of life's twists and turns. Regardless of these thoughts.

But what if no one reads this?

So what?

That never stopped me before. Why should it now?