Maybe Tomorrow

Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from a great blogger and mother named Melanie Dawson. Melanie is 32 years old. She plays several roles: during the day she is a special education teacher, and by night she is Super Mom! She has two Masters Degrees in education, and she absolutely loves what she does. Her role as Super Mom gets a little tricky sometimes. She has a 12 year old son, Sebastian, her daughter Tyler is 10, and little Mason is 5. They keep her going all day long, and she loves it!

You can follow Melanie on her blog, Penguins on My Shirt. 

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?) 

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Typical - that was my life.

I was married to my high school sweetheart, Mike, and together we were raising our three beautiful children. We both worked full time jobs, and took turns transporting the kids to their endless sporting activities. An hour each way for gymnastics twice a week, soccer, piano lessons, more gymnastics - every moment was scheduled. It felt like we were never home.

Family meals were often found at the bottom of a fast food bag, and homework was done in the car. We rarely took time for ourselves. Sure we took family vacations, and we worked hard to create memories with the kids, but we were young. We often joked that our time would come when the kids left the nest, then we would focus on us. Could we have been more wrong?

April 14, 2011 my life changed, and so did my priorities. I came home from work to find that Mike had passed away from a heart attack. He was 34. My husband, companion and best friend was suddenly gone. We had been together since I was 17, and it would have been our 14th wedding anniversary that year. How could it be possible that I was a widow at the age of 31? Gone were the tomorrows we had planned for.

Living life to the fullest no longer means that I try to cram my day full of more than it can hold. Instead, I give my kids more magic kisses than their little faces can hold.

It no longer means putting off until tomorrow the memories I want to create today. 

It no longer means putting myself after everyone else in my life. 

I now understand that I cannot be the mother I want to be if I don’t take time for me. There are fewer moments of “Wait a minute,” or “I can’t right now.” I try to stop what I’m doing to acknowledge every piece of artwork and every out of tune song. We take things slow, day by day, and sometimes moment by moment.

We still get caught up in the little things that don’t really matter when compared to the grand scheme of things; however, those moments are becoming fewer and fewer. My life is at its fullest when my kids wrap their arms around me and say…

“Mom, I love you. Real or not real?”

“Mom, I love you to infinity and beyond.”

“Mom, here are your magic kisses! They won’t ever come off!”

What could be better than that?

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Questions: What events in your life have drastically altered your priorities? What are you putting off until "tomorrow" that should be done today?

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!

Win of the Week

It's one of those days.

You know, the three-cups-of-coffee-won't-wake-me-up kind of day.

But, regardless of how worn out you are, you made it. It's Friday.

And around here, it means something relatively new.

We think we're pretty special people, and in living life as fully as possible, we get a little worn out. We need a pat on the back, and so we come here to get it.

This week has been exhausting beyond belief for me. It was our first full week of school. It was also my first full week off of my antibiotics, which means the darned bacteria in my lungs gets a chance to recover from my attack on them.

It was a great week, though.

A picture of a picture, because I AM that tired today.

My win of the week? Definitely getting to see our family both last Sunday (that was still this week, right?) and this coming weekend. Last weekend we had a birthday party, and this weekend, we'll probably just relax, play board games, and pick on my youngest sister, Tanna, because we all know she's smarter and more talented than the rest of us and want to feel good about ourselves.

I kid, I kid.

So what about you? What was/is/is going to be your win of the week?

The War on Christmas

I worked out yesterday, but I'm not sore today, so I feel like it didn't count or something.

Ten days, seventeen hours, and five minutes.

Let me guess: you didn't even have to look and see what day I'm referring to.

So what was your first thought when you saw that countdown to Christmas? Excitement? Joy? Dread? Apathy? Disgust?

My first thought was definitely: "Holy poop, Christmas is in ten days."

My second thought was confusing, especially in comparison to my first: "Let's get it over with!"

Photo credit: Flikr - greyloch

Oh snap. I'm turning into Scrooge. Or maybe the Grinch is a more appropriate description. 

You see, I used to love Christmas. Like every kid, I loved presents. But now, I don't even know what I want for Christmas most of the time (hence this post). And yet, I'm told that there's much more to this holiday season than gifts. But I just don't see it.

Instead, here's what I see:

Commercialism. Selfishness. Materialism. Greedy spirits. Fighting and bickering among loved ones. A supposed "war" on Christmas.

Meanwhile, I'm left scratching my head, unsure of what Jesus has to do with any of this. Heck, I wonder if Jesus has any clue we're counting down to his big birthday bash with the way we act around this time of year.

Sure, charitable giving goes up. We're all excited to lend a helping hand to anyone who asks. But when it comes down to it, if things don't go our way, we're "bahhumbug"-ing the entire way through and could care less about those who are truly in need.

It's all insanity, and I don't understand it. Heck, I'm even a part of it!

We've taken something so simple, and yet so beautiful, and turned it into a monster. Frankenstein's got nothin' on the beast that we've created called "Christmas" (or as several people like to deem it around this time of year, "CHRISTmas"). No matter how you capitalize it, Jesus has nothing to do with what we're doing down here on December 25th.

Sadly, there is a war on Christmas going on. But it has little to do with retail and department stores. And it has absolutely nothing to do with whether you say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy holidays."

Truth be told, if you're "fighting" the "war" espoused by the media around this time of year, then chances are, you're on the wrong side.

The real war on Christmas is a one-sided affair, and most of us are losing the battle.

Christmas isn't lost, though.

I see it when people gather simply to be together, with no pretense of "gathering for the holidays" (and by "holidays," I mean presents). 

I see it as people share the Christmas story with their families from the Bible.

I see it when people give more than they are able to, because someone needs food or a home, and not just because we're worried they "won't have a Christmas."

Fight for Christmas this year, and remember what it's truly about.

Question: What excites you most about Christmas? What's your favorite holiday tradition around this time of year? How are you working to remember what Christmas is truly about?

Church with a T-Rex

What is it about Mondays that makes people so turkey tired?

I had an interesting experience yesterday.

I worshiped God, along with a lot of people that I love, while a T-Rex was breathing down my neck.

(No, I'm not just saying that because I'm watching Toy Story 3 with my nephew.)

It was odd, to say the least. In a museum filled with ancient relics, war memorabilia, and dinosaur bones, God was alive and moving, and we were there to experience it.

We're in town, visiting our wonderful families for Thanksgiving, so we went to church with Kalyn's family on Sunday, and it was a lot of fun. It was refreshing time where we were able to give thanks amongst a bunch of dead bones who no longer could.

This isn't really an advertisement for their church, though, as much as it's an encouragement and a reminder.

Soon (and most likely sooner than we think), we won't have a chance to express our thankfulness anymore. To experience life in its brevity. To enjoy our wonderful friends and family, the people who love us.

Today, regardless of your circumstances, give thanks. Remember where you've been, and take a moment to enjoy where you're going.

And if worst comes to worst, just remember this:

Even in a place of dry bones and forgotten memories, God is alive and moving.

There's no doubt in my mind that he's moving in your life as well.

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EDIT: Apparently one of my 111 goals this year was to visit a museum! Yes!

I'm Not Over It

This post is part of my weekly Time for Honesty. I do my best to share something that's on my heart that is honest, sincere, and transparent - something that will get you thinking and get you to be honest with yourself.

On Sunday, it will have been three years. For anyone that's counting, that's  1,068 days. Or 25,632 hours. Or even 1,537,920 minutes. Heck, let's even say it will have been 92,275,200 seconds.

Three years is a long time when you look at it like that.

It was three years ago that I tried to call my dad and got an operator because his phone was disconnected.

Three years ago that my older younger sister, Scarlett, randomly asked me, "Do you think Dad is dead?"

It was three years ago that I witnessed the most horrific scene of my life as my grandparents delivered the news.  

One thousand, sixty-eight days ago on Sunday, my dad passed away.

Deja Vu

I know, I know. You missed me yesterday. I'm contemplating posting twice today to make it up to you.

Last Saturday, I posted a video of my sister rocking out on her guitar. I claimed that she was awesome, and a few of you agreed!

Well, folks, I'm here to shamelessly plug my sister one more time. The contest she entered with her song, "Impossible Dream," just began. She needs about a million votes (just to be safe), so would you be willing to help her out?

Just visit this link, register (it takes about 2 minutes), and then vote for my sister's video! If she wins first place, she gets $1,000 and promised to take me out to dinner... just kidding!

But I'm betting if you helped catapult her to first place, she'd be willing to donate money toward an Amazon gift card giveaway. And I'm betting I could match that. So whaddya say?

Check out my sister's video, vote, and share it with your friends. Together, we could all win something from this!

Maybe I'm Biased

So the wife ditched me for a Backstreet Boy concert. It's like grade school all over again...

I've gotta admit - I'm a homebody. I love my family and love the city we grew up in. Things weren't always perfect, and we didn't always like each other, but we've made it this far together.

With that being said, I wanted to show you this video. I think it's awesome and I thought you might as well. It's my youngest sister rocking out for a contest on her guitar with a song she wrote. It's short (less than 90 seconds!) so give it a listen and let me know what you think! I'll post the lyrics beneath the video.

I'm living in a world that's changing rapidly
I've grown up in a place that supports my dreams
Unless I dream of a peaceful land
Where people don't hold guns, they hold hands

But I dream of a place without a hunger stricken race
I dream of a land that's truly united as they stand
I'm told these are impossible dreams
But that doesn't stop me

I can't seem to wrap my head around the terrible things
That happen in my own country, let alone overseas
I'm not sure how to make a change
But I know for a fact that things can't stay the same

Because I live in a place with a warring race
I live in a land where people won't take a stand
I'm told change is an impossible dream
But that doesn't stop me

So what did you think? Did you give it a listen? Do you have any suggestions for my little sister? Would you be willing to share this video? 

I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else!). Just leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail! And while you're at it, find a way to follow Life Before the Bucket!

March 13th is Always a Good Day for Reflection

Since the day that I launched this blog from Taiwan, I've wondered one thing: would I regret making this blog "themed?" After all, doesn't that limit creativity and keep me from posting about a lot of things that I would otherwise be glad to talk about?

About eight months later, I'm about 97.565% sure that I don't regret the decision. And I'm sure you're curious as to why - and trust me, you are - so I'm going to share.

Having a blog that is "themed" is tricky. However, without a theme, and therefore, a purpose, this blog only becomes about one thing: me. So, by not choosing a theme, I automatically would be choosing the default them of, well, me (for lack of a better term; see how this could get old quickly?).

This was never and will never be the purpose of my writings and ramblings. I might do this for myself to a point, but I don't want it to simply be about me. I want to encourage you. I want to inspire you. I want to make you laugh and help YOU to enjoy life a little more fully, even if just for a few seconds every few days.

Having a themed blog has actually forced me to become more creative, not less. Writing about my life goals has truly helped me to find more direction and purpose as I live. It has helped to keep me accountable. However, there are days when I want to post about subjects that don't involve me cliff-diving (it will happen) or flying an airplane (it will definitely happen). This is where the creativity comes in.

Take this post for instance. It was about giving to a great cause: The Adventure Project. However, giving to them wasn't on my Bucket List anywhere, and my 111 in 2011 didn't exist yet, because, well, it wasn't 2011. But I made it "fit" because it matters to me. And frankly, it's my blog, so I can bend the rules a little if I need to.

I'm saying all of this to eventually get to the point of this post. And I promise we are about to arrive. Just stick with me and my unnecessarily circular tangents for a few more moments...