Who Are You?

I've got a question for you:

Do you like questions?

If you don't, I apologize for asking. 

If you do, then this is the blog post for you!

Here's the dealio, yo: I really want to get to know you. I want an idea of who my faithful Bucketeers are and what they're like. Right now, I sort of feel like I've been shoved on a stage that is illuminated by blinding lights, and I don't recognize a single person in the crowd. It's kind of sad, really.

In order to get to know you a little better, I just have a few questions for you. And because I would never ask you to do something I wouldn't, I'll answer them for you as well.

Editor's note: This is the second time I've done this, but I promise the questions are different this time!

1) Imagine this: You won the Mega Millions jackpot of $500,000,000 dollars. What's your first move? Personally, I would pay off my mom's (and in-laws'!) houses; they've given us so much - it would be silly not to give back to them.

2) Looking back, what has been the highlight of 2012 for you so far? Personally, this is a toss-up. It's a tie between getting accepted into the Master's Program I applied for and finding a place to live after this school year for dirt cheap (about $150/month cheaper than any apartment we could find!). 

3) Looking forward, what do you hope will be the highlight of the remainder of the year? This is a toughie. When I think about the future, I see a lot of possibility. I could start writing a book, I could get my lungs into better shape, we could start looking into starting the adoption process... The possibilities are endless. 

4) If you had to choose one "guilty pleasure" song to listen to on repeat today, what would it be? Personally, I love the song Kyrie. There's a million different versions of it, so I guess I'd have to choose the version from The Sing-Off, season 2, as performed by On the Rocks.

5) Do you follow Life Before the Bucket? How long have you been following? What's your favorite part about it? Any improvements that could be made? This doesn't apply to me so much, but if I could make an improvement, it would definitely be the layout. Ever since my template broke a couple of weeks ago, The Bucket has been nothing but dreary, drab grey. So if you have a "template guy," give me his name!

6) This is your free-for-all question. Tell me anything else you want me to know about here. Well, the reason I'm doing this post today is because I'm all kinds of sick this morning. It is no good. So there's something you didn't know about me!

I'd LOVE to hear from you. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you look like, or whether you've showered this week. I want to get to know you! Whether this is your 100th time visiting or your 1st, whether you comment regularly or not - you are important to me.

So let me hear about who you are! Feel free to add/take away from any questions here - after all, I can't force you to answer each question. Take as little or as much time as you need. I'll be anticipating getting to know each of you a little better! I can't wait!

Don't let this blog post be in vain! I want to hear from you now, more than ever, so I can get to know you! Leave me a long, juicy comment telling me about yourself, or if you prefer, e-mail me! Either way, let me know about who you are!

This was *sort of* a repost from September, 2011.

Compassion

One of the lamest ways to begin any speech, sermon, or blog post is with a definition from a dictionary.

Please allow me to be momentarily lame. And thanks for your forgiveness in advance.

There's a word I want to define for you, something that I think is very important to understand. Something that very few of us remember on a consistent basis:

Compassion.

According to my very official source of Dictionary.com, here's the definition of compassion: 

1. a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

What's interesting to me is the way that this definition seems to fall into two pieces. The first piece sounds an awful lot like empathy, but includes the word sympathy, so I suppose it's different. The first piece of compassion includes a feeling.

Personally, I don't place much stock in feelings. Feelings can happen for any number of reasons, including (but not limited to!) a change in weather, hormones, or a bad pasta bowl from Olive Garden. Feelings are just that: something you feel. Nothing more. Not much else to them.

Now, granted, there's probably a little more to them than I am letting on, but I'm biased. But in my heart of hearts, I believe that any feelings not accompanied by action are hogwash. They're nonsense. They mean nothing.

And that's why I like the second part of this definition. True compassion is not only a feeling, but a desire. And while many would classify desires as feelings, I believe there's something more to desire.

Desire is craving. If you desire something, it means you want and sometimes even need something. Your heart and mind are telling you that you are lacking something, even if you really aren't. And more often than not, desire leads to my favorite result: action.

Now I've been skirting over where this emotion of sympathy and this desire are placed, but I think we all know where it lies. It lies within our hearts to help those in need. And I'm not talking about someone who is a middle-class resident of these United States and has a little debt.

No, I'm talking someone who doesn't have food on a regular basis, or lacks what we would consider basic rights: clean water, shoes, or education.

It is disturbing to me how many people are living in extreme, extreme poverty. Not USA poverty, where you can make $18,000/year and be considered in poverty. I'm talking about people who make as little as $1/day and somehow manage to live off of that. 

I hurt for those people. And as a result, I desire to "alleviate the suffering" that they endure, as the dictionary puts it. I have a serious obsession with my compassion for these people. I can't help it.

And so here we are now. At the point where you know. Where you're aware. And hopefully, to a point where the desire has kicked in. Allow me to help you fulfill that desire. There are a number of organizations that assist in impoverished situations, and you're fully capable of Google-ing such entities, but I definitely want to plug a couple here:

Compassion International - Compassion International is a non-profit who assists those who are needy and suffering through the primary avenue of child sponsorship. For much less than a Starbucks a day, you can impact the life of a child and his family.

World Vision - World Vision is another non-profit dedicated to assisting those in need around the world through child sponsorship. However, they are also very active in a number of other ways, which you can see through their website.

Invisible Children - A war has been raging for years and years in Uganda and beyond. The Lord's Resistance Army has been mindlessly killing throughout the country through the use of child soldiers, and Invisible Children is an organization who has been working to take a stand against this injustice in various ways. 

The Adventure Project - The Adventure Project is one of my favorite groups to talk about. They're a non-profit dedicated to changing how we give so that we can eradicate extreme poverty. They've engineered a number of creative projects that have assisted families and communities and are always looking for more people to join and help out.

Remember, a feeling without action is nothing more than some bad heartburn. Turn your compassion into something deeper, something more meaningful, something more real. Do something about it today.


... ... ...

Questions: What are some of your favorite charitable organizations? What are some actions you can take today to fulfill your desire for compassion?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading! 


This was a repost from September 2011.


image credit: wojtek2000 - sxc.hu

Woman Talk

Don't forget about the guest post series we're starting up! I've gotten a few great submissions, but I'm definitely looking for more! Don't be shy! Write 'em up and send 'em my way!

Just out of curiosity... how many languages do you know?

5? 7? 2?

Or do you just know 1? (Hopefully no one knows less than that)

I think a lot of us fall under the same category that I'm in: a language "sampler."We know bits and pieces of about 10 different languages, but if we had to survive in a country that spoke any of them, we'd die.

It's not a bad thing. It's just how things are.

For instance, I know bits and pieces of Spanish, French, Chinese, and Krio. I also doknow how to read Ancient Greek, but that's about as useful when speaking as knowing how to swim while standing on your head.

However, what I didn't realize until just recently is that I'm slowly learning a new language.

What's funny about this new language I'm learning is that it isn't really voluntary. I'm being immersed in it every day, without reprieve. But I need to know it to survive. And many others out there are going through the same thing right now. Some have only been learning for a few days, and others for decades. But none of us will ever truly master the language known as...

Woman talk.

I know what you might be thinking (if you're a woman, anyway). "We don't speak a different language! Guys just don't listen!" And you're probably right. But in our defense, we don't listen because we don't understand! It's like planting us in Japan and expecting us to navigate. It just doesn't work.

You girls speak a different language! 

I have proof, too. Anecdotal proof, but proof nonetheless.

You see, my wife is a beast and loves to run. She's about 37 billion times more in shape than I am. And that's no exaggeration. So she tries to go running everyday.

One day, she went to go running right before we were about to leave to go somewhere. She looks at me as she's leaving, and woman talk starts pouring out of her mouth. It sounded something like, "I’m running 3 miles and then I want to leave." But I'm a woman talk rookie, so I can't be 100% sure. I've consulted experts, and they're still baffled.

Thankfully, though, God blessed me with a wife who knows that I'm as dumb as a rock when it comes to understanding what she's saying. So when that inevitable blank, confused stare passed from my eyes to hers, she nodded in understanding and translated for me.

What she said: "I'm running 3 miles and then I want to leave."

What she meant: "Shower while I'm gone."

Now just look at that. How could any sane human grasp such a ridiculous language? There's no pattern! It makes no sense! What does her running have to do with my personal hygiene?! I haven't a clue!

If you're a guy and you're reading this, you know what I mean. You're nodding your head in understanding as you read, and you're probably trying to figure out a way to crack their code. Don't worry, fellas, it can't be done. I've only been married 2 years and I know that much.

If you're a girl and you're reading this, you're probably shaking your head in disapproval. It seems obvious to you that when my wonderful wife told me she was going running, she meant that she wanted me to shower. It makes total sense to you! However, it does not, and will never, make sense to us guys. So be patient with us.

We're learning. Slowly... Very, very slowly.

(Crud. My wife just left to go run. Better get in the shower!) 

... ... ...

Questions: Have you ever experienced something like this? Does your spouse sometimes say something that you know means something else? Any funny stories worth sharing about this? 

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Disclaimer: This was a repost from June of 2011.

My Feathers Have Been Ruffled

This is a repost that challenged me as I read it again. Enjoy!

The other day I was perusing my infinite list of blogs, reading, enjoying myself, and probably drinking coffee, though I can't be sure (so don't quote me on that). Nothing too earth shattering arose, and I was okay with that. Until I read through K. Syrah's latest post over at Shoes Never Worn: "The Indie Writer/Indie Author."

Darn you, K, for ruffling my feathers.

(She does that sometimes, so if you're into that sort of writing, you should really check out her blog.)

Anyway, K was writing about being an Indie author, and ended her post with a quip that made a lot of sense to me, but made me kind of mad:

Of course, I say that because at this moment, money isn’t an issue, and if one has a full belly, and all the bills are paid, it’s easier to be righteous.

Now when I say that K made me mad, I really just mean she rattled my cage. Because frankly, I'm dealing with this right now, and I was mad that she brought it up and threw it in my face, as if it were no big deal. Don't mind the fact that it's completely illogical for me to be mad at her - after all, she has no clue that this is something I'm wrestling with right now.

Here's the deal: I've really been struggling with trusting God in my finances. This is something I've always taken a little pride in, because I don't want to care about money, so I let God take care of it. Typically, our budget doesn't add up and more goes out than comes in. But at the end of the day, we find ourselves blessed by God for trusting him with our cash.

Lately, though, things have been getting a little tighter. And suddenly, I start wondering. I start doubting.  

Does God care? 

Did I do something wrong? 

Is there a certain ritual I need to perform to fix all of this?

And suddenly, I want to take matters into my own hands.  

You see, that quote I posted from K really shook me because I've found myself beginning to back down from what I so firmly believed when I "had a full belly and all the bills were paid."

I've always believed in God's provision and frankly, He's always one-upped me when it comes to finances, always doing more than I could ever expect. However, lately, it seems like God has all but disappeared from managing our money. And suddenly, I want to stop giving radically. I want to start saving back our money, keeping it for ourselves, instead of supporting our beautiful Compassion children.

But then I'm reminded of my calling:

Give to those who ask.

Don't turn away from those who want to borrow. 

Don't store up treasures on earth.

Don't worry about your life.

Don't worry about tomorrow.

Give, God says. Don't worry, He reminds me.  

Give. Don't worry.

I guess it's no coincidence that when Matthew pens those words, he talks about radical giving first and then says not to worry. It's like he knew what his readers would be experiencing as they read his admonition to give without hesitation.

I want so badly to be able to keep giving and enjoy it. And I'm trying. I haven't given up on God, and I guess I've just come to terms with the fact that God is still taking care of me. I'm just being selfish and I want more. Because, obviously, I deserve better. I'mentitled to his blessings. He owes me.

Wrong. Double wrong. In fact, that's all a bucket of lard.

I need nothing more. I deserve nothing better. His blessings are his to give, not mine. And God owes me nothing. In fact, I'm sure it's the other way around. I owe him. A lot. Everything, in fact. And so I keep giving. I keep trusting. I keep hoping. And along the way, I'm trying not to worry, because, hey, what good has worry done any of us anyway?

... ... ...

Questions: Did that quote from K hit home with you? Can you relate to my struggle here? Or do you struggle with trusting God for other things, beyond money? What are you having a hard time trusting God with today?


If you enjoy what you've read, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing this post with your friends. Thanks a million for reading! 

Make Money, Money

This is a repost that I think you'll benefit greatly from. Enjoy!

If there's one thing we're all sick of hearing about, it's money. "In this economy..." isn't just a catchphrase anymore; it's an excuse more common than "My dog ate my homework," mostly because we can't afford to have a dog anymore.

Maybe the new excuse should be, "The economy ate my homework." 

Maybe not. It was worth a shot.

Either way, we're all looking to make some money, and it seems like none of us ever have enough of it. Either we're in debt from student loans, credit card payments, car payments, or we're stuck working a 9-5 job paying minimum wage at McDonald's. Money is something none of us really like, but all of us want (and need if we're going to live).

The funny thing about money is that there's about a million ways to make it. You can mow lawns, paint houses, do paperwork, serve food, be a personal trainer, or just about anything else you can think of and make money from it. Money isn't as difficult to come by as some people make it out to be. This is why I want to present you with a way to make a little extra cash today.

For real.

If you live in the United States or Canada, have an internet connection, and are looking for a few extra dollars a month, then this is for you. 

Maybe you've heard of it, and maybe you haven't. Either way, it isn't a scam. Through Swagbucks, you earn points (aptly named "Swagbucks") and then you redeem those points for prizes. Most people that use Swagbucks, though, use it to earn free Amazon gift cards. And if you've ever used Amazon, you know that gift cards to their website are about as valuable as someone handing you cold, hard cash.

I know it may still sound like a hoax, but you've got to use whatever trust you have in me right now to hear me out. I've made over $100 in Amazon gift cards through Swagbucks, and I hardly broke a sweat. Actually, I doubt that I sweated at all. It's pretty simple stuff. They have a million ways to earn points, including something as simple as searching the internet using their search engine. A couple of minutes a day could earn you a little extra spending money!

So at this point, I'm sick of sounding like a used car salesman. I just want you to check Swagbucks out and see if it's for you. If not, that's okay. But don't knock it before you try it! And if you want to help me out with my goal for 2011, you can start by clicking on this banner and signing up as one of my referrals!

So there you have it! A quick and easy way to make a little extra cash! It won't make you rich by any means, but making some money while surfing the internet is better than making none! Check it out and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: The links above are my referral links, which means that if you sign up through them, you'll be helping me out. And who wouldn't want to do that?

... ... ...

Questions: Did you try  out Swagbucks? What did you think? What are some ways that you make a little extra cash?


If you enjoy what you've read, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing this post with your friends. Thanks a million for reading! 

A Longing for Fatherhood

This is a repost that is ridiculously relevant in my life right now, and I really wanted to share it with you. Enjoy!

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of spending time with someone I care about very deeply.

I can't tell you her name, because it's complicated, but I can tell you about her (and I've been dying to do that).

This girl, she's about 5 years old. She's beautiful. She is usually high on energy and loves to talk. She loves playing, climbing trees, and putting together puzzles. In fact, she might even end up being smarter than me.

This girl isn't able to receive love from her parents on a regular basis. They don't have that right anymore. But she has her grandparents, and they love her well enough. They just weren't expecting to go through the parenting motions at this point in their lives.

Last time we visited this girl, we wanted to take her home with us. To let her know that she's loved. To prove to her that she has a home.

Instead (because kidnapping is frowned upon around here), we settled for having lunch with her, playing games, putting together a puzzle, and climbing trees.

I don't remember the last time I climbed a tree. And my lungs certainly don't remember either, because they were not very happy when I tried.

But it was for her. To show her that I love her. That I care. That I want to spend time with her and do the things she does and love the things she loves.

We climbed trees for what seemed like hours. She even climbed one that I told her she wouldn't be able to until she was bigger. She proved me wrong, and I was so happy for her.

Among the trees, she has a swing. And when we were done climbing, worn out and tired, she invited me to come sit by it. She told me all about how she swings, and how she has a pile of dead leaves that she collects next to the swing. She stood on the swing as it swung back and forth, telling me about how dangerous it was.

I added to her dead leaf collection that day. And though she probably doesn't remember it, that was a great (albeit silly) moment in my life.

She let me add to her life. To be part of it. To love and enjoy her company.

Someday, I hope I can do this full-time. I long to be her father. But if that day never comes, I know God is taking care of her, watching as she climbs those trees, climbing with her. I know he's there watching her swing and encouraging her to be a little more dangerous, even if it might hurt a little. I know he adds to her dead leaf collection from time to time. And I know he loves her.

I just hope that the day comes when I can join him in that.

... ... ...

Questions: What were your parents like? Were they able to play with you on a regular basis? Or did you have someone else in your life that filled that role?

Don't forget to subscribe to Life Before the Bucket! If you enjoyed this post, please use those fancy schmancy buttons down there to share this post with your friends and family!

Re: And Finally... Thing #3

This is my final (and my favorite) repost from 2011. Share it with all of your friends and family - we need to raise awareness about PCD! And while you're at it, find a way to follow Life Before the Bucket! Happy New Year!

Picture this:

You wake up in the morning. You cough a few times, and a little phlegm comes up. You hardly notice and swallow it, willing yourself to find the energy to move out of bed. You crawl out, walk out of the bedroom, and quickly find something to drink - you know it'll be painful otherwise. 

Unfortunately, you don't reach the kitchen in time. The coughing begins again, only this time, you can't suppress it. It won't stop. And you're not even coughing anything up! Next thing you know, you're desperately swallowing air, trying to keep from throwing up the contents of your stomach. You fumble through the cabinets for a cup as you're still trying to control your body. You quickly run it under the sink - oops, the water was on warm (no time to worry about that now) - and take a swig of the lukewarm water.

Your chest depresses, your shoulders relax, and your breathing slows a little. You might still cough, but for whatever reason, it's controlled now. And now you're out of breath from walking to the kitchen.

You lean on the counter for support. You huff and you puff, but there's very little respite besides waiting and hoping your heart rate and breathing slows. A few minutes later, you've caught your breath enough to make some coffee. At least this part of the day isn't so bad...

Sounds rough, right? 

It is.

That's life as usual with my lungs. And that's only the first 10 minutes of the day.

So without further ado, I introduce Thing #3 to you...

Thing #3 is... Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia.

Ugh. My misplaced heart sinks a little just typing it.

I know, I know. You're scratching your head again. Hopefully, you've already read about Thing #1and Thing #2. If not, you really should. They much more upbeat and fun. If you've already read about them, though, you should have figured out that all of this is too wacky for anyone to make up. I do, indeed, have three diseases that any spelling bee champion would be proud to spell: situs inversus, hydrocephalus, and primary ciliary dyskinesia.

Now if we want to get technical, doctor's actually describe the combination of Thing #1 and Thing #3 as Kartagener Syndrome (which is a lot easier to say and spell). Statistics say that approximately 10,000 people in the United States are living with this diagnosis. However, not nearly that many people have actually been diagnosed. The backwards heart and organs is pretty obvious. The lung disease? Not so much.

Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia (PCD) is, quite frankly, a pain in the butt. The overly simplistic way that some doctorsmay describe it is that it is similar to Cystic Fibrosis (which a lot of people have heard of). However, that's just not true. PCD is not CF. However, because PCD is so stinking rare, it's treated like CF, because that's alldoctors know how to do.

The best way I know how to explain PCD is as follows. Basically, you have little finger-like entities all over your body called "cilia." These little fingers work to keep things flowing. Unfortunately, my cilia are dysfunctional, sluggish, and just don't work right (for whatever reason). As you can imagine, this is a problem.

Because these fingers in my lungs don't work, my lungs collect mucus. Lots and lots of mucus. Buckets worth, I'm sure (though I've never coughed up that much). And as this mucus collects, infections occur. And then my lungs get sick, get damaged, and I can't breathe. Throw a little asthma in there, and breathing becomes really fun. 

Treatment is, in a word, stupid. I'm grateful for the great doctors I have, and they take great care of me, but much just isn't know about how to treat this disease. It's so rare that research on it is difficult, and therefore, treatment is usually just a hit and miss sort of thing. Here's a taste of what I endure enjoy every day for my lungs:

First of all, there's this little toy. This bad boy is called a nebulizer. You might have seen one (or even used one) before, because they're often used in hospitals and emergency rooms to administer breathing treatments.

Basically, what happens is I put a little vial of liquid into the canister you see here, and the machine turns it into a vapor that I can inhale. I am able to get more medicine into my body this way, as opposed to using inhalers (though I do have a few of those).

Here, you can see boxes of two out of the three nebulizer medications that I take on a daily basis. In fact, I have to take all three medicines twice a day, minimum. Three to four times on a bad day. And let me tell you, that time adds up quick.On average, I spend an hour a day doing breathing treatments. 

The breathing treatments actually help a little, mostly because they're designed to aid my asthma (which people actually know how to treat). The medicines pictures here are combined into the nebulizer and really help my breathing for an hour or two after I take them.

The other medication I use is actually used for people with CF, but it seems to help my PCD, too. It thins out the mucus in my lungs, making it easier to cough up. However, that's the hard part: actually getting the mucus out of my lungs. It requires a little work, because it doesn't just magically appear, turning itself over to be disposed of (though that would be awfully nice!).

Instead, I get the pleasure of being beaten to a bloody pulp twice a day for twenty minutes (and more on a bad day). The instigator? This thing you see pictured to the left.

I like to call him Thor.

Affectionately so, of course.

Thor is a good friend of mine. He's been in my life for over 10 years, though he recently got an upgrade. Basically, what Thor does is he pumps air through the tubes you see in the picture into a vest (which is on top of the machine). The vest is strapped onto my body like a life-jacket. The air pumps in, it beats me senseless for twenty minutes, and I hope it helps.

My wife has all sorts of amusing descriptions for Thor. However, I think Thor probably deserves an entire post of his own, so I'll let him rest... for now.

This is a lot to digest, I know. Just stick with me a few more minutes.

To be frank, I hate Thing #3. It sucks. Or doesn't suck, I guess, because if it sucked, it would mean I could breathe...

Thing #3 wouldn't be such a problem if it could be aggressively treated. However, this is the Catch 22 of my marriage. When we were wed, we lost our health insurance. And ever since then, I haven't been able to get it because it's either too expensive or it won't cover my diseases.

Now trust me when I say I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything. However, not having healthinsurance is a pain in the rear. I can't see specialists, I can't afford treatments or certain diagnostic tools (such as CT scans), and therefore, Thing #3 only gets worse.

I know, I know. I need to get off my bum and get a job. That's what most people think when they hear about people without health insurance. That's the problem, though. My lungs are in such bad shape that I can't work full-time. I'm barely hanging in with my internship, and that's a job where I sit all day and only move when absolutely necessary. And even then, I hack my lungs up a few times a day.

There's really not much I can do about it right now, honestly. I'm currently applying for disability at the ripe old age of 21 (I was already denied once when I was 19) and praying for the best, but I know that the government isn't supposed to be my savior.

However, my mother-in-law, in her infinite wisdom, thought of something I should have come up with more than a few years ago. She has set up a health fund in my name.

Now let me say this, first and foremost. I am NOT a charity case. I hate the thought of ever being paraded around like someone who is helpless and can't forge their own way in life. However, I also know that there's pride in me about this that doesn't need to be there.  

That is why I'm telling you about this.

My mother-in-law has set up a Facebook page where she keeps everyone posted on how I'm doing and stuff going on with Thing #3, and I'd love it if you would check it out. Just search on Facebook for "Adrian Waller Health Fund." Or click here to request to be part of the group.

I'd love it if you'd join, just to keep updated on how I'm doing. And if you feel able to help financially, I wouldn't argue with you. We have a bank account setup called "Adrian Waller, Medical Expenses Fund," and I use the money to help pay for appointments with doctors and medicines (which add up a lot faster than you think). If you're interested in helping out, but have questions, you can send me an e-mail at (awaller1990@gmail.com), and I'd be glad to answer any questions you have.

Basically, though, I'd just love it if you prayed for me. Life is hard. Very, very hard. It's hard not to be able to do things that normal people do. It's hard to not be able to walk without wheezing. It's frustrating to me that my condition keeps me from doing things I love: sports, singing, and sometimes even writing. But I know that God is taking care of me. He wouldn't have allowed me this far only to let me shrivel up and die. So I'll keep fighting, because I know I'm alive for a reason, even if living is hard most days.

Thanks SO much for caring enough to read. Please, please, please share this with your friends. It would mean the WORLD to me.