It Really Doesn't Matter

I wrote this post at the beginning of last semester. Since I just began my last semester of undergraduate study, I thought it would be fitting to repost it as a reminder to myself of what truly matters as I study. Enjoy!


One of the most interesting aspects of my life is something I rarely blog about: attending a Christian college.

Our school is very, very small - it averages about 330 students each year, which is less than my graduating class in high school. Having been in public school my entire life, it's a different environment for me. Everyone around here is either from some farm-town in Western Kansas, was home-schooled, or lives in areas of their hometown that I can't even afford to think about.

It's a weird dynamic to experience for four years.

I've been reluctant to write about MCC (Manhattan Christian College) for many reasons.

First of all, it really just isn't that interesting to me. There's a lot more to life than school. And although I'm pretty "good" at school, it doesn't top out my priority list.

Mostly, though, I haven't written about my school because I'm scared to hear from people who are hyper-apologists of sorts for our micro-community. Truth be told, there are people that don't want a negative word to leak concerning the school, for fear of losing something (though I'm not really sure what).

I'm still not really here to write about the negatives of my school, either. Maybe later. Much later. As in when I'm in graduate school later. But for now, I just want to share something interesting with you that I discovered last night:

All that I've learned at this Christian college is that I don't care about most of the stuff we have to learn about to get our Bible degree.

Now granted, that's a pretty sweeping statement, so allow me to narrow it down for you with a story.

Last night, we had a friend over who stops by on occasion - we love having her over. After dinner was done sinking to the bottom of our stomachs, she started talking with my wife about the Bible and about not knowing a lot of stuff about it.

My wife, being the genius that she is, told her that Bible college is good to help with that, and gave her the example of different views of Creation. She rattled off the basics of Young-Earth Creationism, Old-Earth Creationism, and the Literary Framework viewpoint. I was impressed with how well Kalyn articulated each view, but then our friend asked us where we stood on the issue.

After thousands of dollars, a dozen Bible classes, and three years of college, this is our shared view on that specific matter. You might want to get your pencils out to take notes, because it's a doozy. Here it is:

It really doesn't matter.

Say whaaaaaaaaaat?!

Okay, okay, back up. Hold up. Pause. Stop, collaborate, and listen (okay, maybe that's a little too far).

In three years of debates, struggles, studies, and "building relationships" (because that's what MCC is "all about"), that is our conclusion about most things that people bring up about Christianity and the Bible.

It really doesn't matter.

I'm just going to go on record as saying that we paid entirely too much money for such a simple answer.

I mean, maybe we've failed as Christian college students, but something tells me we haven't. You see, there's a lot of reasoning behind our conclusion. I won't bore you with the details (unless you e-mail me and ask, in which case, I'd be glad to!), but suffice it to say, there's one main reason that brings me to the conclusion I'm at with this stuff:

If it does not help me to love people more, it really does not matter.

The end. Period. That's my bottom-line. I came to MCC for a number of reasons, but I'm leaving with only one: love. Not knowledge. Not because of my degree. Not to use the skills I've learned. I'm leaving in a year because I want to love people that I don't know. I want to love people that I don't understand. I want to love people that disagree with me.

And I don't just mean a "I have to love them, not like them" sort of attitude. I really want to love people. God's equipped me especially for that, and it's what I want to do.

Arguing about Creationism? Well, unless you're pretty creative, there are very few ways that you can love someone through that.

So for now, I let the arguments rest. Chances are, when we're all dead and gone and chatting up God, we'll find out we were completely wrong about almost everything, anyway. And at that point, I don't think I'll care, so why should I now?

... ... ...

Question: What is something that you struggle with that keeps you from loving others?


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Doin' the Funk-Face

Lately, I've been feeling a little off. A little funky, if you will.

And no, not the Village People kind of funky, though I have those moods as well. 

No, this kind of funky looks like this hypothetical conversation that I had with my wife:

Me: *funk-face*

Wife: What's up?

Me: Nothing.

Wife: Okay... What's wrong?

Me: *emphasizing the funk-face* Nothing.

Wife: Are you sure? 

Me: Well, no.

Wife: I know what you need. You need to do some dishes. It's therapeutic, you know.

Me: Yeah... right. *extra funky funk-face*

Now, like I said, this actual conversation never happened, but it might as well have. I've just been in a mood these last few days. You know the kind.

I don't want to do anything, but I want to do something.

I'm bored, but if there's something to do, I don't want to do it.

I feel like eating, but I don't want any food.

And the face is undeniable:

So maybe I overemphasized the fish-lips. But you get the point.

When I'm in a funk, I'm restless like a 13 year old who's tasted Mountain Dew for the first time.

Somehow, though, I managed to snap out of the funk today. Which is lucky for you, because this post wouldn't exist, otherwise. I'm not sure what did it, though. It could have been...

Getting a new lens and taking pictures around the house.

My wife's concern over the funk-face.

Getting to see the in-laws and celebrate my birthday a little early.

Really, though, I think it was probably a combination of the three, mixed in with some good, old-fashioned rest. Again, I'm thankful for Jen Hatmaker's book, 7, which is teaching me more about pausing and resting every day, and especially during the Sabbath. But more on that later.

For now, I'm looking to you. 

First of all, what does your Funk-Face look like?

Secondly, how do you manage to snap out of a funk if you're in one?

I'm legitimately asking, because I'm pretty clueless as to how I can snap myself out of these funks when they happen. Of course, maybe listening to a little Village People would do the trick...

Or maybe not.

... ... ...

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Win of the Week

You made it through another week!

Guess what?

It's Friday.

You made it.

Breathe a sweet sigh of relief and enjoy it while you can.

I think I want to start a new "tradition" around here. I'm definitely borrowing it from one of my favorite sports blogs, so hopefully they don't sue the pants off me (because it's cold and I really need my pants to stay warm).

Here's what we're gonna do. Every Friday, I want to keep it simple. I want to share our "wins" of the week with one another. Even if it's something like "I made it through the week without killing too many people" (not that I condone killing, but hey, a win's a win). I wanna hear it!

So here's my win of the week: I had band practice at church last night and was actually able to play guitar while standing, so I'm pretty stoked about that. I've had to sit while playing for most of the last year, so it's a pretty big deal to me.

So there you have it. No matter how big or small your win was this week, let's hear it:


What was your win of the week?

The Danger in Riding Fences

When I write, I spend a lot of time staring at a blank screen.

I also spend a lot of time suffocating the little key on my laptop known as "backspace."

The delete key wins honorable mention, but only because it's what backspace should have been named.

And in all of this staring and key-mashing, I find myself frustrated, wallowing in my own destructive self-talk.

No, that's not good enough.

BACKSPACE

Why would people be interested in that?

DELETE

You'll never "make it" with lame ideas like this.

UNDO

And the negative self-talk persists. No matter how many posts I write or how many people read my words, those doubts creep up on me each time I'm trying to decide on the words that will fill my screen.

I realized something the other day, though. Something that helps. It doesn't heal the negativity I have toward myself (and that's another series of posts for another week entirely), but it keeps me from getting ugly.

So what did I realize?

The easiest way for me to nip my defeating self-talk in the bud is to simply make a decision.

This is one of the hardest things for me to do in life. Ask anyone that knows me (especially my wife). I'm often chained down by indecision because I don't have enough confidence in myself to believe that I could actually be doing something correctly.

But what I realized the other day is this: oftentimes, when I'm deciding between one thing or another, the results of choosing one or the other won't be nearly as devastating as choosing neither.

Step away from the fence, people.

Case in point: I've been aching over buying a camera lens forever. I finally decided on one two days ago, and I still have doubts about my choice. But if I kept riding the fence and "playing it safe," I was going to be losing out on precious opportunities to use a new lens to capture memories - the whole point of my photography.

Not deciding was worse for me than choosing either of the options, and this is often the case with most decisions in life.

So today, learn from my mistakes. Make a choice, jump off that fence, and destroy it while you're down. The danger in riding fences is that they get you nowhere, and they get you there fast.

I don't know what decision you need to make to today, but I do know that making one is better than making none. Figure out what decisions you're avoiding in your life and do. something. about. them.

... ... ...

Questions: What sort of decisions have you been avoiding? Why have you avoided choosing a side? What is there to gain from riding the fence? 

If you enjoy what you've read, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and  sharing this post with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!


photo credit: raZna - sxc.hu

Just Do It

This past month has been insane.

I mean, sure, there was that whole Christmas thing. And then New Year's. And finishing last semester. And starting this semester.

Minor details. 

No, what I'm talking about doesn't concern school or holidays. What I'm talking about is life.

Over the last month or so, I've set some pretty lofty goals for myself:

Gain 30 pounds. 

Stop drinking soda. 

Spend less than five minutes a day on Facebook.

And the list goes on.

And as I've pursued these things, I've been doing a lot of reading. A lot of reading. On weight gaining. On blogging. On spirituality and what it means to accept the Bible for what it is and not what I want it to be. On photography. On living my life to the fullest. And so, so much more.

And you know what I've found that's helped me? Frankly, very little.

You see, as I'm working toward truly living life every moment of every day (as opposed to simply existing and letting life happen to me), I'm learning. I'm learning what works for me.

The thing is, I read a thing here and there about what to do for this and that. But ultimately, it comes down to me actually living and finding out what works for me - not just what I think sounds good to me.

Sure, I love reading. It's great for learning and great for leisure. And I love learning and enjoying myself.  But learning and leisureliness do not equate with living.

In this last month, I've learned that in order to find what works for me, I actually have to take the risk of failing in order to discover success. And I think this is something that could be said for you as well.

Want to be a big-time blogger? You don't have to post 5 times a week, or even once a week. There's no magic formula. Find what works for you and do it.

Want to live a healthier lifestyle? You don't have to exercise 4 hours a day. You don't have to be a vegan. You do have to find what works for you and do it.

Want to write a book? You don't have to wake up at 5 AM everyday or stay up until 3 AM every night. If it's not your thing, don't do it. Find what works for you and... yup, you guessed it: do it.

I know I sound like a Nike commercial right now, but it doesn't get much simpler than that. If you're looking to live a richer, more fulfilling life right now, then stop reading, stop seeking the "right way." Figure out what it means for you to live a fulfilled life and just do it.

... ... ...

Questions: What is holding you back from achieving your goals? Why do you fear the risk of failure? How will you live a more fulfilled life in your own personal way today?

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