To the Drifting Friendships

When we're young, nobody tells us the truth about friendships.

They don't tell us that people will move away.

They don't tell us that we might take different paths in life.

They certainly don't tell us that one of us might pass away unexpectedly.

There's a lot of pain and distrust tied up in the word "friendship."

This post is for those relationships lost, for those drifting away. For the people who you used to talk with every day, but can't remember the last time you heard their voice.

"The Way it Was" by T.E.

"This is a song I wrote after a close friend of mine, someone I talked to nearly every day, suddenly stopped talking to me. When I realized I was losing him, it was like losing a part of myself. After a couple days of moping around, I sat down and decided to write this song and tell him how I felt, even though he probably hasn't heard it and he has no idea it's about him. 

That's what writing is to me, though. It's my way of speaking to people when I'm too scared to tell them how I truly feel, and it's my way of coping with emotions I don't understand. 

 Thanks so much for listening."

Lyrics can be found here.

If this song resonates with you, share it with your friends. 

Also, please be sure to hop over to the YouTube page for this video and leave T.E. some feedback, as well as a quick thumbs up!

photo credit: Eastop - sxc.hu

A Request

The internet is a crazy place.

If you're gone for a day, it's like you've missed a week. If you're gone for a week, it's like a month. And if you're gone for a couple of months, it's like you died, were reincarnated, and grew back into an adult.

In other words, being gone two months isn't advisable to most. Especially to most running a blog.

Before my hiatus, I had a certain rhythm to blogging. Getting that rhythm back has been a pain, but it's returned like good, ol' muscle memory always does. However, there's one thing missing...

Over the course of the two years (an eternity in internet time) Life Before the Bucket has been around, we've been blessed by some inspiring writing. And I'm not talking about my own. I'm talking about your writing. Here are a few of the most popular guest posts I've been blessed to feature:

Doing Something Harder by Natalie of Little Things + Big Stuff

Maybe Tomorrow by Melanie Dawson of Penguins on My Shirt

Planting Trees is Social Justice by Aly Lewis of Memoirs of Algeisha

A Fish Out of Water by Heather Reese of My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream

You see, guest posts come in all shapes and sizes and from all different perspectives. They're a taste of something bigger and better, an entire person with an entire story.

That's why I would like to begin featuring guest posts once again on Life Before the Bucket. 

Now, though, I'd like to stretch you all beyond our "Living to the Fullest" series. I will still accept guest posts under that topic. However, I think there's even more that many of you could say. That's why I'd like to accept guest posts on a number of different levels. I'd like to hear from you if you're interested in writing on any of these topics:

Living to the Fullest - As before, if you have a perspective on living to the fullest that we haven't heard (or maybe that we need reminded of), feel free to let me know about it!

Humor - This topic is wide open. I like to feature a humorous post every once in a while, so as long as it's clean, it's good with me. Just let me know!

Your Story - I'd love to hear the story of how you've become who you are today, or how you're becoming who you want to be. This is another topic that is wide open for interpretation.

Current Events - As evidenced by numerous posts in the past, I'm terrible at posting about current events while they're actually current. I like to digest the thoughts of every one around me before I formulate my own on a matter. So if something is happening in the world and you'd like to write a guest post about it, let me know!

Beliefs/Religion/Christian Living - A lot of my posts on Life Before the Bucket fall under this category. It's another wide-open category that's open to interpretation. We all have a reason we believe what we believe, and we all have ideas on how we should be living out our faith. This is open to people of all beliefs and faiths - Christianity just tends to be the focus around here as a result of my own faith.

If you can think of any other topics, let me know!

But I'm not only posting this request for me. I'd like to do something for you as well.

As a part of the renovation taking place in my heart (especially in terms of blogging), I'd like to be more active in the blogging community, contributing as much to others as I receive.

As a result, I'd like you to let me know if you're featuring guest posts on your own blog or on another blog that you love. I need to be more involved in contributing to others' blogs, and this is one way I know I'm able to do that. I'm open to just about anything, so let me know what to write about and I'll make it happen!

This, my friends, marks the end of my request. I know it's long, but I'm serious about sharing my platform and contributing to the platforms of others.

Let's work together in this.

Questions: What other topics should be featured as guest posts on Life Before the Bucket? Do you have a guest post series going on that I should know about? 

Let me hear your thoughts in the Comments section, or shoot me an e-mail and let me know what you're thinking! Thanks for reading!

Renovation

As many of you may know, I've been away from the internet for quite some time. I finally broke my vow of blogging silence last Friday with some closing words on the Chick-Fil-A fiasco.

There are a few reasons I stepped away from blogging as long as I did. 

First of all, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, our lives were absolutely insane. Incidentally, I compared myself to a chicken - a clear foreshadowing of the terrible things to come these past few weeks.

We were in the middle of the Longest Move in the History of Ever (so long, in fact, it deserves proper noun status). The short story is after two months, the move was complete. But, as always in life, there's a longer, messier, more painful story behind it all.

The blood and guts of our new
rental home

If ever one word could sum up the last three months we've been moving in (yes, it's been another month since then), it would have to be "renovation." We have hammered, pulled, painted, screwed, unscrewed, and bolted just about every square foot of our new home. And we're not even new homeowners - we just really like our landlords and want to help them out.

At this point, our house isn't completely renovated, either. There's still a few months left of work, at least. But we're living here, and that's all that matters to us. After 2 unexpected months of bumming a basement off of your mom, you'll take what you can get.

Really, though, I had time to blog while we lived at my mom's house. But I didn't. Again, the real story is a bit messier than the short of it all. As you may remember, we took a month-long fast from media. Our fast led to my initial withdrawal from the internet in general.

The crazy thing is, when we withdrew, God gave us a new perspective. It certainly helped me, as a blogger, to put things in their proper places. I realized, among other things, that blogging, in the grand scheme of things, isn't all it's talked up to be.

Now before you proceed, please realize these words won't be popular. After all, I'm writing them on a blog, of all things. But they're words that need to be said, even if no one else is willing to publicly say them.

You see, most people I talk with view blogging as a stepping stone to something "bigger." If only you can reach the "magic" number of page views every day, you'll "make it." If only you could carve out your own untouchable niche in the vast world wide web, you'll be "famous." All it takes is one "big break," and you're "set" for life. You'll be able to "make a difference." You'll have your "dream job."

In reality, all the hype amounts to something that isn't much of anything.

Blogging, in its purest form, is writing. It's voicing thoughts, opinions, stories, reflection, and all sorts of other information. It's a medium, at best. And it's a medium which is a stepping stone to... you guessed it, another medium.

You see, if you're lucky as a blogger, you'll be able to do some cool reviews, get a few sweet perks, and if you're really "up there," you'll get published. And that, people, is the crown and glory of the blogging world. You just might, after all your time, hard work, and investment, get to write a book or two which could "change some lives."

And while this pursuit is noble, even becoming a well-respected, renowned author isn't all it's cut out to be. A book may live on beyond your time, but it won't last forever.

This, my friends, is the renovation God has been doing in my heart. It's ugly. It's bare. It's hardly even functional. And frankly, it's not a renovation which will be popular with anyone in the blogosphere.

The beginnings of something new -
the reward of renovation

But the renovation on our house has been good visual reminder for me. It has shown me no matter how far you strip something down, you can always make it better. It can always be rebuilt. 

So maybe someday I'll write a book. Or "make it" as a blogger.

But until then, I'm remembering I'm meant for something even more than authorship. I'm meant for more than my own crown and glory (no matter how noble it seems to myself or others). I'm not alive to make a difference in a few lives, or even in the world. I'm not even here to be a great leader. I'm here to bring about the everlasting, eternal Kingdom of God which Christ has led, is leading, and will lead forever. I'm here to follow, not to lead. I'm here to proclaim his words, his thoughts, his heart - not my own. Not for me, not for my well-being, not for my future.

This renovation has been painful, brutal, and downright destructive. There's nothing pretty, catchy, or popular about it.

But I'm starting to see, as the rubble is swept away, a glimmer of something beautiful, something which will outshine this life into eternity.

... ... ...

What renovation has been taking place in your own life? I'd love to hear about it in the comments section.

No Mor Chikin

This poor guy has no clue what he's caused.

If you've been on the internet, watched TV, or live anywhere within a 150 mile radius of The-Chicken-Chain-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, you're probably aware of what has been going on the last couple of weeks.

And if you're wondering what I could possibly have to say about KFC, you need to get out more. 

Of course, if you're anything like me, the moment you heard Dan Cathy's words a few weeks ago, you probably stuck your fingers in your ears, closed your eyes, and have been singing an obnoxious "La la la! I can't hear you," hoping to drown out the incessant opinions, cliche rhetoric, and ridiculous Facebook posts about this ever-controversial topic.

It's like we're children wandering in an abandoned war zone. Our parents warn us to be careful, but when we see a landmine, we can't help ourselves. Knowing full well what it will do, we decide to test it by throwing rocks and act surprised when we all get hurt.

Haven't we learned to avoid the pain that comes along with taking sides?

Meanwhile, if you're in any part of the world other than the USA, you're probably thinking to yourself, "What does all of this have to do with the Olympics?" You and me both, my friend.

Needless to say, we all know what's going on with Chick-Fil-A, and we're all tired of hearing about it. I think there's a bigger lesson to be learned here, though, and that lesson has absolutely nothing to do with chicken, marriage, or the so-called Christian foundation of our rather confused country.

Instead of discussing, debating, and dissecting the last few weeks to death, maybe we should all take a step back. Maybe we all need to stop talking, take a deep breath, and think for a moment.

We need to remember a couple of things:

First of all, there is no "us" or "them." We're all people. We're all affected in someway by lesbians, gays, bisexuals, or transexuals and their right (or non-right) to marry. We've all been burned in this unnecessary battle of harsh words and unfair criticism.

And while the opinion of one man won't matter at the end of it all, we still feel the need to fight. To take sides. Because something bigger is at stake. Whether we're for or against whatever our respective belief system stands for, we know (or at least think) we're supposed to take a stand. And in most cases, there's no problem with this. However...

The real problem runs deeper. There's an innate brokenness within all of us, and the pain of our imperfection rears its ugly head at times like this, masking itself as "virtue" and "justice." In reality, it's the insecurity of our souls that prompts us to fight so valiantly in these cyclical clashes of culture that rear their heads every few months.

What, then, should we make of this mess? We could continue on as we are, and follow the guidance of our own ambitions and desires. Clearly, this has gotten us so far.

Or we can choose to change our course and follow something or someone higher - a morality that has a better perspective and can see the bigger picture.

Oh how quickly we have forgotten these beautiful, revolutionary words that should decorate every breath of our lives:

Do not repay evil for evil. Instead, respect what is right in the sight of all men. You've heard that you should take an eye for an eye, because you're free to defend yourself. Don't. Turn the other cheek and give a blessing instead. Always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. Do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God, loving him fully and loving others as you love yourself.

These are words from Scripture that few of us would argue with, regardless of what "side" we're on.

But on the off chance that you could care less about the Bible, allow me to share a story with you from Aesop's Fables, a perennial choice for the moral education of young and old alike.

"The Doe and the Lion"

A Doe hard pressed by hunters sought refuge in a cave belonging to a Lion. The Lion concealed himself on seeing her approach, but when she was safe within the cave, sprang upon her and tore her to pieces. "Woe is me," exclaimed the Doe, "to have escaped from man, only to throw myself into the mouth of a wild beast?"

The point of this obscure story?

"In avoiding one evil, care must be taken not to fall into another."

Friends, let's stop throwing rocks at landmines. 

Let's escape the war zone, declare a truce, and take a step forward instead of constantly running back to the safety of our beloved "positions" and "beliefs." 

Instead of pressing Pause and returning to this war again in a few months, let's press Stop and eject this tape. We're so over watching this play out for the thousandth time, because the end never changes.

Let's agree to disagree, but let's also agree that we're better than this (or at least we should be).

And for the love of all things good, let's forget about eating Mor Chikin and get on with watching Mor Olympics!

Running Around Like A...

Sometimes, life gets crazy.


And then, sometimes life floods you with crazy.

We're currently in the middle of our second move this summer, and so I'm trying to put all of my extra free time into that. Meanwhile, my wife has two jobs now, so any extra minutes I can have with her, I spend away from the computer (a hat tip to our recent media fast, for sure).

If you've been trying to get me to call you, e-mail you, Skype you, or anything else like that, chances are, I've sounded fishy, like I'm avoiding you. And the truth is, I am... in a way. Not on purpose, though. I'd love to be spending time in cyber reality now that I'm free from my fast. However, life calls. And when life calls, I run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

So please forgive me, my friends. I pinky promise that I'll be back soon!