Well, my friends, for me that is my Elementary Statistics class. Oh me, oh my.
First of all, our professor is an ex-MLB player. That should be enough to make you wonder. But it gets better.
I secretly think our professor also wants to be a preacher, because somehow, someway, he always manages to segue into a spiritual conversation (even though we're supposed to be talking about "math").
Last week was one of his best days, though. We began class by watching three "music" videos. I'll save you some excruciating pain and just let you know that one of them was called "Where's the Line for Jesus?" I can't link to it with a good conscience, so I'll let you find it for yourself. Oh, the horror...
The third one we watched was pretty intense, though. It's worth me sharing with you, so here it is, in its entirety:
Now I don't claim to agree with every word this guy says, but his delivery is unique, to say the least. One of his lines hit me square on the forehead, though, as I sat twiddling my thumbs in my Stats class. Skip to 2:57 in the video to hear it. And on the off chance you're lazy and don't do that, here's what he says:
"Even your good acts are an extension of your selfishness."Now normally I would have shrugged off this video as another one of this class's weird quirks. But, because of another class I've already had, that quote wouldn't let go of me. So I had to address it.
We try and we try to be good. Whether we're influenced by the God we believe in or by our personal moral ethic, most of us strive to be "good" people. We help others out, give to those who are poor, and sacrifice ourselves to love those around us.
And if you're not at a place where that's a regular part of your life, I'd love to hear why.
Undoubtedly, though, Christians are among worst offenders. We wear our good deeds like Girl Scout badges.
"Can you believe I spent a week there?"
"I sacrificed my summer without pay to do this."
"Well I support a child through this or that program - they'd be hopeless without me!"
And keep in mind, I'm keeping this inclusive. My hands as red with guilt as anyone else's.
It's clear to everyone but ourselves that we're anything but selfless. "Even our good acts are an extension of our selfishness," remember? Something tells me you don't like hearing that. I didn't either when I first heard it over a year ago. It didn't seem to mesh with my view of the world and myself, so I threw it out and didn't give it a second thought. But somewhere inside of me, I knew its premise to be true.
In one of my past classes, we studied a wide variety of theories concerning families. One of those theories was known as Social Exchange Theory. We all threw a fit when we heard about it, because we didn't want it to be true. Basically, it posits that every decision we make is weighed by a cost-benefit analysis. We think, "What will this cost me?" and "What will I gain?" as we strive to make everyday decisions in life.
For instance:
Say I decide I want to spend a night with friends instead of my wife.
Cost: A night with the love of my wife that I'll never have back.
Gain: A potentially fun night that I'll always remember with my friends.
For you, this might look different in the exact same situation. But that's basically how I weigh it, and about 85% of the time, I choose my wife, because I really like her (in case there was any doubt).
The same kind of thing happens when we decide to do a "good deed."
For example:
Say you're asked to serve at a soup kitchen, giving out food to the poor.
Cost: Some time and maybe a little dignity (if that sort of thing shames you).
Here's where the controversy lies.
Gain: A good feeling. Another good-deed badge on your figurative Girl Scout vest. Or maybe the food that you get to choose from after you're done handing out food to others.
Replace any situation with the one given - I guarantee you'll find the same thing. It's nearly impossible to escape. Consider this: even Jesus being crucified (something a lot of people consider the highest form of selflessness) was for something.
Doesn't it drive you crazy? You don't want this idea of Exchange Theory to be true, but as far as we can see, it is.
So why don't you give in to it? Why don't you want to admit it's right and that you do everything for yourself in some way?
Oh, that's right. Because it would make your "selfless acts" null and void. When you stand before Jesus, you'll have nothing to cling to. And that's exactly the point.
Even our good deeds are an extension of our selfishness.
Why do you think Jesus was sent to be crucified in the first place? There's was nothing we could do about our standing before God. And heck, there still isn't anything we can do. We can prop up our good deeds all we want, but once we remove their shell, what's left behind is nothing more than a menagerie of our ugly, broken selfishness. To Jesus, they're worth nothing more than rusty old Girl Scout badges.
It sucks. Your good deeds aren't inherently "good." But the truth is, they were never meant to be. So don't walk away slumped over, shaking your head about how hopeless we are. For we have hope.
Keep fighting the fight. Keep running the race.
And remember, even though you're doing good things and think you're a good person, this was never about you in the first place. It was never supposed to be. Keep doing those good things; I never said they were wrong. But stop fooling yourself into thinking that they're good, that you're good, or that they somehow make you good. That couldn't be further from the truth.
... ... ...
Questions: How does this jive with you? Do you get angry when you hear about Exchange Theory? Or have you been nodding your head all along the way? What do you think your reaction to it says about yourself? Does this mean we should never do "good" deeds anymore?
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photo credit: igoghost - sxc.hu
