Let's take a collective sigh of relief, my friends... because it's Friday!
No matter how high your highs or how low your lows, you survived. You've cleared the hurdles and you've completed the course. Congratulations!
Around here, we like to throw a party, blog style. Because it's Friday and because we're always looking to encourage one another, it's time to share our Win of the Week!
Now, as before, we are each going to share twoWins of the Week so that we can get double the pats on the back. Share one "real life" Win of the Week and one "virtual life" win of the week.
For example, if I had won a million dollars this week, that might be my "real life" win of the week. Meanwhile, my "virtual" Win of the Week would be something like hitting 10,000 pageviews overall. Of course, if you don't have a blog or a virtual Win, you can most certainly still participate! But if you do, this is your time to shamelessly share yourself. Plug away, my friends!
Personally, my real life Win of the Week would have to be working out every day so far this week. I've been taking part in the most recent 6 Week Challenge over at Nerd Fitness (run by the awesome Steve Kamb). My workouts have been walking (aerobic) and body weight circuits (strength). This is very important to me, as it will help keep my lungs in tip-top shape, allowing for the fullest, longest life for me possible.
My virtual Win of the Week has to be my successful reentry into the blogosphere. After being gone for so long, it's difficult to find a rhythm again, but I think I've got this figured out. Of course, I start school next week, so that could really throw a wrench in my plans, but that's for then. For now, I'm stoked to be back!
So there you have it! Those are my Wins of the Week!
What about you? What has been your "real life" Win of the Week? What has been your "virtual" Win of the Week? This is your chance to shamelessly share yourself! P.S. - I've been thinking for a long while about making my Win of the Week post a link-up, where those of you with blogs could participate by posting about your Win of the Week alongside me. Those without blogs could still comment, but this would really help to share the love with more people. Would you be interested in this? Please let me know in the comments section!
A special thanks to my sister-in-law for being our emergency photographer!
I don't know if you heard, but...
Our school let us graduate!
We're not sure if they'll regret this decision or not...
In light of this and the fact that we just moved back to our hometown but can't live in our home quite yet, posts this week might be a bit haphazard. You've been warned!
Before anything, though, I do need to say this: thanks SO much to everyone who voted for me in the blog contest last week! I took first place, which means that I plan on rewarding you guys soon!
Also, a HUGE thanks goes out to all of our family who came to our graduation and then to our friends who helped us move. We'd be helpless without you guys.
But now, on to the topic at hand. You see, when people graduate, it's kind of a big deal - especially when you pay thousands and thousands (and thousands) of dollars to do it. People want to know if the whole shebang is worthwhile.
This post is my very premature answer to that inquiry (especially since I have two more years of school left starting in the fall!).
What I've Learned in College (So Far):
It's expensive. Too expensive. You'll just have to get over that now.
If you don't know what you want to do with your college education, do it somewhere cheaper. The magic career fairy doesn't grant answers more quickly to those who pay more.
More than likely, you'll remember the good times you had with your friends before you remember your schooling. So either become a hermit, or enjoy that time while you can.
Student loans are a pain in the foot. Whatever you do, don't take them out to live on unless you're in dire circumstances (and no, needing a 52" HDTV is not considered a "dire" circumstance in any world).
Become who you want to be now, not later. I didn't need to graduate college to start writing, or even to start serving the people I want to serve the rest of my life.
Someone at our school is always fond of tweeting these words around the time of finals each semester: you are NOT ever your grades. Even if you get good ones.
There will always be someone who seems smarter, tougher, faster, prettier, friendlier, and just about every other adjective you can think of. But nobody is better equipped to be you than you.
Build relationships (dare I say... friendships?) outside of the classroom with your teachers. It's in real life, not a classroom setting, that you'll learn the most from them.
Some words from Shane Claiborne seem fitting here: "Find where your passion meets the world's needs." This place needs something from you, and college is a great time to figure out what that is. Work to truly be who you are, and not who you're "supposed" to become, and you'll quickly discover where that intersection of your passion and the world's need resides.
I promised myself I'd stop at ten points, so there you have it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy our last-ever summer break.
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Questions: What were some of the biggest lessons you learned while in school? If you could do anything differently about your time in high school or college, what would it be?
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
We do that sometimes - it's our "secret" to a healthy marriage.
She's currently discussing gender in one of her classes. The stories she tells from the class are about as stereotypical as you can imagine: the girls don't think guys understand them, and all the guys want is for the girls to make them a sandwich. Pretty typical stuff.
They've studied a lot about how they themselves fit into certain stereotypes as well. One day, Kalyn even brought home a questionnaire that she had filled out about herself. The survey looks at your traits and characteristics, and based on how you respond, it rates you as exhibiting either primarily masculine, feminine, or neutral traits.
Oddly enough, my wife didn't score high enough on any of the traits to merit being lumped into one of the three categories. Not sure what that means, but I still like her!
Naturally, I wanted to take the test for myself.
Big mistake.
I took a deep breath, did a couple of neck rolls, cracked my knuckles, and answered away. Kalyn fired off question after question, and after what seemed like forever, she tallied my score.
Lo and behold, I came out on the feminine side. Heavily, in fact.
There was no doubt that many of the traits that I exhibit (and that I'm even proud of) are considered "feminine." Kindness, caring, listening, empathy - these are all traits that I think any of us would like to have, but that are typically categorized under the umbrella of "feminine" traits.
I illustrate the gender psychology/education association to my students by asking them the following question: "How many of your male, PhD college professors do you think are hardcore NASCAR fans?" Answer: Very, very few. Personally, I've never seen a NASCAR hat on the head of any male university colleague. I then ask a follow-up question: "How many blue-collar males working in the city are hardcore NASCAR fans?" Answer (note that we are in small town West Texas): A lot.
See the difference?
So Driscoll has a point. Most church leaders are highly educated. This means that most church leaders are culturally divorced from the average NASCAR fan. The very group Driscoll is targeting.
But here is the very important point about all this. A lot of the reaction to Driscoll isn't even about gender. We are actually talking about the little discussed fissure running through many churches: Education.
If you read the article in its entirety, Beck's ideas make sense. Simply put, men who are less educated exhibit more traits that are considered masculine, while those higher up on the education food-chain exhibit feminine traits. I would fall under this latter category on both points.
The second thing my mind wandered to is another class we're currently taking. For the introduction of the class, we were asked to take personality inventories. Since we attend a Christian college, the inventory looked at personality, as well as how we connect to figures in the Bible.
After I took my test, I saw, to little surprise, that the test had associated me with Thomas, the student of Jesus who is famous for "doubting" that he had resurrected. This connection was made to show that I require evidence before making major decisions and that I often don't take people solely on their word. Seemed reasonable to me.
Meanwhile, there are several females in our class, and some of them were associated with the likes of Ruth or Naomi, some of the more prominent women in the Bible.
This led me to another story from Kalyn's class that she recently told me. I'm not sure of the exact conversation that was had, but she told me that she piped up at one point and said, "Women are only allowed to study Esther or Ruth in the Bible." Apparently her professor got a kick out of this (as did I).
All of this got me thinking: is that really true, though? And even if it is, should it be? Should women only study women, while men only study men? What does that say about gender within Christianity? What does that say for men like me, who grade out to be more feminine than masculine? Or women who seem to exhibit more masculine traits than feminine?
Should we really only be studying those in the Bible who fit the socially constructed notions of our gender?
So far, I'm answering with a resounding "No," simply because I've always enjoyed studying the women of the Bible, and this seems to make sense in light of Beck's thoughts, as well as what the aforementioned gender characteristic survey said about me. Plus, what does that say about women? Can they not study the life of Jesus to become more like him?
Maybe we are wrong in seeking to become "real" men or "real" women. Maybe this conversation shouldn't be about gender at all, but about becoming real people who exhibit both feminine and masculine traits, both of which God exhibits as well.
Sure, God chose to reveal himself as a man (because, according to nature, he had to choose one, the other, or become a eunuch), but does that mean he is a "man's man" or that he has a "man card" which keeps him from exhibiting feminine traits such as empathy, understanding, or care for others?
If that is really the case, that's a Jesus I wouldn't be interested in following. If he is anything like the "real" men that I know, he'd be a jerk, and a class-act jerk at that.
Instead, I choose to follow the Jesus who cares like a woman, is strong like a man, and who values both (and the eunuchs!) equally. I choose to follow a Jesus who is not a true man or a true woman, but is a true person, as fully human as is possible to become. A Jesus who doesn't discriminate, but who encourages the pursuit of true personhood instead of some stereotypical molds that none of us really fit.
That, my friends, is a Jesus worth following.
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Questions: What are your thoughts on this issue? Do you find yourself exhibiting more masculine or feminine traits? What does this say about you as a person? Should we only focus on those of the same gender when studying the Bible?
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
Have you ever been in a class that you could never predict? You know, the one with the zany professor who always has something new up his sleeve? Didn't that class drive you crazy?
Well, my friends, for me that is my Elementary Statistics class. Oh me, oh my.
First of all, our professor is an ex-MLB player. That should be enough to make you wonder. But it gets better.
I secretly think our professor also wants to be a preacher, because somehow, someway, he always manages to segue into a spiritual conversation (even though we're supposed to be talking about "math").
Last week was one of his best days, though. We began class by watching three "music" videos. I'll save you some excruciating pain and just let you know that one of them was called "Where's the Line for Jesus?" I can't link to it with a good conscience, so I'll let you find it for yourself. Oh, the horror...
The third one we watched was pretty intense, though. It's worth me sharing with you, so here it is, in its entirety:
Now I don't claim to agree with every word this guy says, but his delivery is unique, to say the least. One of his lines hit me square on the forehead, though, as I sat twiddling my thumbs in my Stats class. Skip to 2:57 in the video to hear it. And on the off chance you're lazy and don't do that, here's what he says:
"Even your good acts are an extension of your selfishness."
Now normally I would have shrugged off this video as another one of this class's weird quirks. But, because of another class I've already had, that quote wouldn't let go of me. So I had to address it.
We try and we try to be good. Whether we're influenced by the God we believe in or by our personal moral ethic, most of us strive to be "good" people. We help others out, give to those who are poor, and sacrifice ourselves to love those around us.
And if you're not at a place where that's a regular part of your life, I'd love to hear why.
Undoubtedly, though, Christians are among worst offenders. We wear our good deeds like Girl Scout badges.
"Can you believe I spent a week there?"
"I sacrificed my summer without pay to do this."
"Well I support a child through this or that program - they'd be hopeless without me!"
And keep in mind, I'm keeping this inclusive. My hands as red with guilt as anyone else's.
It's clear to everyone but ourselves that we're anything but selfless. "Even our good acts are an extension of our selfishness," remember? Something tells me you don't like hearing that. I didn't either when I first heard it over a year ago. It didn't seem to mesh with my view of the world and myself, so I threw it out and didn't give it a second thought. But somewhere inside of me, I knew its premise to be true.
In one of my past classes, we studied a wide variety of theories concerning families. One of those theories was known as Social Exchange Theory. We all threw a fit when we heard about it, because we didn't want it to be true. Basically, it posits that every decision we make is weighed by a cost-benefit analysis. We think, "What will this cost me?" and "What will I gain?" as we strive to make everyday decisions in life.
For instance:
Say I decide I want to spend a night with friends instead of my wife.
Cost: A night with the love of my wife that I'll never have back.
Gain: A potentially fun night that I'll always remember with my friends.
For you, this might look different in the exact same situation. But that's basically how I weigh it, and about 85% of the time, I choose my wife, because I really like her (in case there was any doubt).
The same kind of thing happens when we decide to do a "good deed."
For example:
Say you're asked to serve at a soup kitchen, giving out food to the poor.
Cost: Some time and maybe a little dignity (if that sort of thing shames you).
Here's where the controversy lies.
Gain: A good feeling. Another good-deed badge on your figurative Girl Scout vest. Or maybe the food that you get to choose from after you're done handing out food to others.
Replace any situation with the one given - I guarantee you'll find the same thing. It's nearly impossible to escape. Consider this: even Jesus being crucified (something a lot of people consider the highest form of selflessness) was for something.
Doesn't it drive you crazy? You don't want this idea of Exchange Theory to be true, but as far as we can see, it is.
So why don't you give in to it? Why don't you want to admit it's right and that you do everything for yourself in some way?
Oh, that's right. Because it would make your "selfless acts" null and void. When you stand before Jesus, you'll have nothing to cling to. And that's exactly the point.
Even our good deeds are an extension of our selfishness.
Why do you think Jesus was sent to be crucified in the first place? There's was nothing we could do about our standing before God. And heck, there still isn't anything we can do. We can prop up our good deeds all we want, but once we remove their shell, what's left behind is nothing more than a menagerie of our ugly, broken selfishness. To Jesus, they're worth nothing more than rusty old Girl Scout badges.
It sucks. Your good deeds aren't inherently "good." But the truth is, they were never meant to be. So don't walk away slumped over, shaking your head about how hopeless we are. For we have hope.
Keep fighting the fight. Keep running the race.
And remember, even though you're doing good things and think you're a good person, this was never about you in the first place. It was never supposed to be. Keep doing those good things; I never said they were wrong. But stop fooling yourself into thinking that they're good, that you're good, or that they somehow make you good. That couldn't be further from the truth.
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Questions: How does this jive with you? Do you get angry when you hear about Exchange Theory? Or have you been nodding your head all along the way? What do you think your reaction to it says about yourself? Does this mean we should never do "good" deeds anymore?
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
We don't do the Rebecca Black around here. Nope. We've got something much better up our sleeves.
Around here, we celebrate because we've been given the gift of another week passed. We celebrate milestones. We celebrate the insignificant, because we find it significant. We're sharing our win of the week.
This week hasn't been very exciting for me. Call it a post-birthday week letdown. Mostly, I've worked on our final Senior Paper, which seems like a big deal, but really isn't. And I suppose I've learned something from the experience, especially this week.
As I've watched people stress and fret over these passages of Scripture we're examining, I've found myself confused. Why are they stressing? What's to fret about? I see people staying hours and hours and hours on end in the library, only to take a stack of books home with them to work on. What's the point? Is that really living?
I've found that, though I'm not organized in most things, I seem to be able to organize my time well and not allow my schoolwork to bleed into my time to work out, eat, sleep, or be with my wife. These are all things that are higher on my priority list than our paper, and for that, I'm grateful.
So I'm calling this mywin of the week. I've learned to be disciplined and not to overwork myself, and that's a skill that most people struggle to learn. Sure, we work, work, work. But what about rest? What about play? What about life?
I can only thank God that he's exposed me to an assignment this ridiculous so I can get my priorities straight.
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So what about you? What was your win of the week? Leave a comment that says "My win of the week was..." and it might just get shared on the Life Before the Bucket Facebook or Twitter page!
If you enjoy what you've read, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing this post with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
Do faith and reason coincide with one another? Or are they diametrically opposed?
This, my friends, is the discussion we've been having in one of my classes for over a week now.
What's worth noting first, though, is that we decided that a better word for "faith" is most likely trust. We get trust. Faith is confusing and can mean a lot of things. And though trust can be ambiguous, it's more clear-cut and closer to the meaning we desire when we use the word "faith."
So do trust and reason go hand in hand? Do they fuel one another or compete with each other? And if both can exist, should one come before the other?
These are some of the questions we've been challenged with.
However, since I attend a fairly conservative Christian university, most of the thoughts expressed on the subject at hand are in one accord (generally speaking). There's always a few outliers, but for the most part, I only hear one side of this story.
So this is where you come in, my fellow Bucketeers. We all come from different walks of life. We're all different ages and live in different places, and have been raised in different ways to believe different things. Thus, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.
After a few people comment with their thoughts, I'll chime in with my thoughts on the matter, but for now, I want to leave it up to you.
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Questions: So, what are your thoughts on the matter? Do trust and reason go hand-in-hand? Why or why not? And if they do, which comes first (if either)? Also, if they don't agree with each other, which is more important to have concerning people and God?
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
And around here lately, that's meant one thing: sharing your win of the week.
I'm all about building community, so sharing our victories for this week is important to me.
Here's mine:
This week, my win involves a speaker that came to our school. It was most definitely one of the most popular events we've ever had, because the speaker, Shane Claiborne, is something of a phenomena.
Truth be told, though, I hadn't heard of the guy until I heard he was speaking. So I wasn't sure what to expect.
What I found, though, was reassuring. Shane talked to us about being Jesus with skin on. About meeting the world's pain. And so much more. And I plan on sharing what I learned with you next week.
What was most reassuring, though, was the fact that I've been where Shane is at for a while. My faith has become less about me and more about making life easier (and better) for those around me. It was like God was reassuring me: "You're on the right track; keep going."
That encouragement was much needed, especially as I'm beginning to get bogged down with papers and reading assignments. It reminded me of what's important, and that has very little to do with any assignments I'm trying to finish right now. Regardless of how important the papers I'm writing may seem, they're not worth breaking my neck over.
I completely forgot to buy more coffee for the morning, so my wonderful wife is grabbing me a cup during her run. Gotta love her!
These past two weeks have been some of the most tiresome of my life. Whether because of illness or simply not being used to school, I've needed to rest every day.
It's so interesting to me how we often associate rest with sleep. I think we really miss something when we do this. If the only resting we achieve happens while we're mostly unconscious, then no true rest actually occurs.
No, resting is much more than sleeping. Resting requires intentionality and purposefulness. If we do not choose to rest, we never will. And as a result, we will often be much less than what we could be.
It's no surprise to me that God commands rest throughout Scripture. He himself rested after all of creation was set into motion. And though I don't fully understand what God's rest means, I know that if he rested in his own personal way after doing work, I need to do the same.
It's so difficult to slow down, though. To stop doing and simply be. And yet that's our school's theme for the year. To be, not do. We need to be at rest from time to time if we ever hope to do anything worthwhile.
And so, because I need to rest, I write for five minutes. No more, no less. Because I need to be deliberate about resting, about enjoying, about being. Being closer to God and becoming closer to the well-rested man that God desires me to be.
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And that, my friends, is my Five Minute Friday, courtesy of The Gypsy Mama.
Question: How do you plan on truly resting this weekend?
School starts today and I'm already planning on dropping a class. Darn sickness.
I'm baaaack.... again!
Okay, I admit it. You probably didn't miss me nearly as much as I'd like to think you did. After all, who takes two separate week-long breaks from their blog in one summer? That's just not very nice, if you ask me.
Hopefully, though, you haven't forgotten about me. This last week has seemed like the longest non-blogging week ever - I swear it lasted at least a month.
And in case you were wondering, I've done a lot in the past week since I've been gone.
Did I mentioned I missed you?
Here's what I did...
Spent two and a half hours of my life enrolling for school. Got my $4,000/month medicine... again. Finished another book in the Bible (one of my goals for the year!). Watched some more episodes of Psych. Got to attend what I would call my "home" church (even though it's not in my hometown!).
Here's what I didn't do...
Wrestle a bear. Re-design the blog. Finish Radical Together. Go skydiving. Anything that required walking more than about 20 feet.
So as you can see, my week off was pretty productive, and yet unproductive at the same time! I mean, who goes a week without wrestling a bear?! A pretty lame week if you ask me.
I ramble, though, mainly to let you know that I'm thankful if you're still around and reading Life Before the Bucket. It's one of the small joys I have in my life and I enjoy sharing it with you. Though I've been more sick than usual as of late, I figure that if taking breaks from blogging helps me continue to blog in the long-run, then it's a good thing. Oh, and then there's that whole getting better from the sickness thing, too (yeah, right).
But since school is starting back up again today, I figure I need to resume blogging regularly, mostly for my sanity. And maybe a little for yours. So, as you can guess, things will be returning to pseudo-normalcy around here this week. And I liiiiike it. Hope you do too!
So I just realized I'm eating some Easter jelly beans and I'm supposed to be working out soon. Don't judge me!
Ah, sweet summer solace. It's so nice to be free. Free from 8 AM classes, deadlines, expectations, responsibility, paying bills... Okay, so not quite that far. But seriously, it's great to be out of school for a few months. I feel bad for people that take classes year-round, honestly. But more power to 'em - they'll be my boss someday, I'm sure. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the freedom that is summer.
This summer is especially freeing, in my mind. This may have something to do with the fact that over the last three summers I have traveled to Sierra Leone, gotten married to the love of my life, and traveled to Taiwan. Ya know, the usual.
Like I said, though, this summer is going to be nice. I mean, all we're doing is completing our internships, which sounds like a lot bigger deal than it is. I promise. Internships got nothin' on airport security in Taiwan. Those beagles don't play!
As this itch to blog persists, I have decided to scratch it.
Yesterday, I went to school and was, for the most part, sick. I had some nasty chills and a killer headache. However, because I worked my bottom off to finish a project/paper the night before and because we had Greek homework and a quiz (which I was destined to bomb), I decided it was in my best interest to ignore my body and go anyway. I didn't expect to learn much in my zombie-like state, but this is where God surprised me...
Wow. So it's been about a year since I have blogged. Or three weeks. Depends how you look at it. Either way, it has been a while. There are many culprits to my lack of blogging, namely...
Moving
The start of school
The start of small groups
Marriage (it takes up time and I love it!)
Sleep
My friends
However, one culprit has slowly taken over my life in the midst of the chaos of life. This culprit will be stealing time from me for the next year (at least), and will surely haunt me for the rest of my life. This sinister thief teases me with the idea that someday I might understand it, but also with the fact that the "someday" could be centuries from now. The lousy criminal who has been stealing away my life is...
