Connected

Today is our first day off from school. Naturally, my body chose to wake up earlier than I have in weeks. Makes sense.

It's Friday.

For me, that means the end of school for another semester. It signals that there's less than a week until my application for graduate school is due. It also means preparing to travel to a good friend's wedding. 

What does this Friday mean to you?

To me, this Friday also signals the return of a practice I've abandoned, something I want to try again: Five Minute Fridays.

It's simple, really. You write for five minutes on a prompt that The Gypsy Mama. No edits. No nothin'. Just writing. An exercise made for Fridays, indeed.

This week's prompt? Connected.

On your mark... Get set... Go!

Living now is easier than it's ever been. We have microwaves, the internet, and Netflix. What more could we ask of life? And when we need others, it's easier than ever to find them, because we're always connected.

Whether through a cell phone, an iPod, a laptop, or even a LeapPad, we all (young and old) are connected at the hip (literally) with each other. And though it seems easier than ever to live, this is part of our 21st century world that is harder for me.

I crave solitude. To escape in moments of disconnectedness. It's not that I don't love being with and around and connected to others. It's the exact opposite, in fact. I love others so deeply that I need to disconnect. To recharge, refuel. To make sure my own battery doesn't die for the sake of those around me.

I love being able to connect with others through the medium of the internet, especially. With you, specifically, through this blog. And I want to connect with more people as time passes. For now, though, I'm content with the connection we've made today, and hope you'll help others to find a connection today, as well.

STOP!

Questions Do you enjoy our constant connectedness? How often do you disconnect from the world? 

Remember to follow Life Before the Bucket if you haven't already!

Growing

I thought I was done with Greek in my life. And then they sucked me into tutoring...

I stopped growing when I was in middle school.

I'm about average height, so to be a 13 year old at this height meant I was huge.

We bought everything too big. Sadly, I never met my expectations when it came to those things. I was supposed to be at least 6 feet tall. I didn't think that was too much to ask. Apparently I shouldn't have asked to be a reasonable weight, either, because I've probably only lost weight since then.

Thankfully, though, my mind and heart didn't stop growing with my body. Though I may appear relatively the same in stature (except for the beard), I'm not who I was 8 years ago. I'm not even remotely who I was, and I only have Jesus to thank for that.

We shared our 'stories' for the last couple of weeks in one of my classes. And you know, I have a lot of stories. I have a lot of experiences that I could've talked about that I've grown from. I was born sick. Physically sick. Spiritually sick. For a large majority of my life, I've been fatherless, and I haven't known any better.

But these stories are no good if I haven't grown. I can't imagine what it would have been like to share with my classmates that I am who I was 8 years ago. And, if you think about it, that was just the blink of an eye. I can't imagine what I'll be like in another 8 years. Or even in 80. But I hope for this: that I keep growing. Because to be the same person I am now would be a defeat of the largest kind.

--- --- ---

Just five minutes alone with your thoughts. Hop on over to The Gypsy Mama and try it out!

Joy

Learned a new formula today: a spoon of pumpkin + a Pumpkin Spice K-Cup = pumpkin pie coffee. Great discovery, indeed.

Joy is confusing, really.

Few of us really understand it, myself included. Is it happiness? Why don't we just call it that?

Or is it something deeper? Something less circumstantial. Something more fulfilling, less fleeting. Joy seems to be elusive for most, and yet, it is evident when it is present in others.

So what is it? Where does it come from?

In my mind, joy is a derivative of hope. Without hope, you cannot have joy. And sure, hope might seem circumstantial, but not true hope. If you have true hope within you, it never disappears. It isn't contingent on whether or not you pass a class, get a certain degree, or find a certain job. It doesn't need people to like you or to support you, and it doesn't need you to be successful or famous.

Indeed, joy is hard to come by, because true hope is hard to come by. It seems elusive. It appears fleeting.

Where is your hope? And is it true? Or is it merely a shadow of what could be? Do you find your hope waning with your bank account? Or is it dependent on something that never changes.

Think. Reflect. Wonder. If only for 5 minutes, consider whether your hope is true. Then you will see why your joy fades. Why it only seems like happiness, veiled by a mask of something greater.

--- --- ---

These are my Five Minute thoughts, unedited, unadulterated, unprepared, for this Friday. Check out The Gypsy Mama if you want to know more!

In Real Life

I'm finally laying my Keurig to rest... and they're sending me a new one for free!

Today, I'm going to be a little more narrowly focused. Because some stuff is riding on my heart, and I want to let it loose in these five minutes. Because I hope that at least someone will read these words and let them ride on their own heart.

In real life, people are hurting. We lose jobs, face death, have bad days, and get bad grades. We hurt.

In real life, those who are hurting simply long for someone to care. Someone to listen as we ramble on about how lame our boss is, how illogical our school is, or how we're having a bad hair day.

In real life, people don't just want you to build relationships with them so that anything. I'm learning right now to build relationships so that I can evangelize. Except I'm not sure about that premise.

Because in real life, people want relationships simply because of the fact that they care about someone. Not because the relationship is the means to an end. Even if it is an end as glorious as knowing and loving God.

I want to love people and build relationships with them because I care about them and do genuinely love them. Because that's how real life works. Not because the newest evangelistic "strategy" tells me that the only "effective" way to reach people is to love them (and if by "reach," you mean bring them to church to increase attendance numbers).

In real life, it just doesn't work that way.

--- --- ---

Today's post was a part of The Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday.

Rest

I completely forgot to buy more coffee for the morning, so my wonderful wife is grabbing me a cup during her run. Gotta love her!

These past two weeks have been some of the most tiresome of my life. Whether because of illness or simply not being used to school, I've needed to rest every day.

It's so interesting to me how we often associate rest with sleep. I think we really miss something when we do this. If the only resting we achieve happens while we're mostly unconscious, then no true rest actually occurs.

No, resting is much more than sleeping. Resting requires intentionality and purposefulness. If we do not choose to rest, we never will. And as a result, we will often be much less than what we could be.

It's no surprise to me that God commands rest throughout Scripture. He himself rested after all of creation was set into motion. And though I don't fully understand what God's rest means, I know that if he rested in his own personal way after doing work, I need to do the same.

It's so difficult to slow down, though. To stop doing and simply be. And yet that's our school's theme for the year. To be, not do. We need to be at rest from time to time if we ever hope to do anything worthwhile.

And so, because I need to rest, I write for five minutes. No more, no less. Because I need to be deliberate about resting, about enjoying, about being. Being closer to God and becoming closer to the well-rested man that God desires me to be.

--- --- ---

And that, my friends, is my Five Minute Friday, courtesy of The Gypsy Mama.

Question: How do you plan on truly resting this weekend?

Older

I got a rolling backpack in the mail the other day. It's pretty sweet and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the next big trend around here. Or maybe not...


Older

Being older today than I've ever been before is an odd thought. There's so much pressure. So much to learn from. I'm older than I was when I was living yesterday, but am I wiser for that time spent? Am I a better person because of that day?

And what about today? As I grow older in mind and body today, will I progress? Regress? Or simply hole up and give up?

Growing older feels helpless, and yet I look forward to it every day.

I see the growing pains in my actions. Though my body has stopped growing, my heart and mind haven't. I'm still learning to walk as a toddler in mind in this world, and every once in a while, I still fall.

Meanwhile, my body struggles. I cannot breathe like I could 4 years ago. I can't run like I could 4 years ago. I can't even carry a backpack like I could 4 years ago. And I'm not much older than I was then.

But my mind is still young. It's still in its infancy. My heart still beats fervently, as if it were the first day that its ever had.

I'm excited to be older. And I'm excited that each day, I'm older than the next. Being older in body may be painful. But being older in mind and in heart seems to give me a new lease on life. It invigorates me and inspires me. And it lets me lead others to be as excited about living as I am.

End.

Question: Do you enjoy growing older? What about it is good? What about it is discouraging? Surprising?

Today's post was a part of The Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday! Check it out if you're interested!

Beauty

In the next 3 days, we'll be in 3 different cities. Gonna be crazy!

It's Friday. And a pretty special Friday, at that. This is the last free Friday I'll have this summer, so I'm relishing in that today.

Part of that relishing (which is a weird word, by the way) includes, as usual...

Five Minute Friday!

If you're a little clueless, allow me to fill you in. Three simple rules:

1. 5 minutes to write - no more, no less. And no editing! Just write!

2. Link back to The Gypsy Mama (where this all originates from!)

3. Go comment on the blog who "links up" (via The Gypsy Mama) before you!

Simple enough, eh?

Here's today's topic:

Beauty

Ready... Set... Go!

Whole

Today is our last day as interns at the Pregnancy Crisis Center. I'm not gonna lie - we're pretty bummed to be leaving and might go visit next week already.

It's Friday, Friday, Friday...!

(Sorry, I haven't made a Rebecca Black reference in a long time. Couldn't help myself.)

And if you've been around here for a Friday before,  you know what that means!

Five Minute Friday!

Here's the deal-io, yo (why, yes, I'm weird - forgive me):

1. Write for 5 minutes flat about a given prompt from The Gypsy Mama without editing.
2. Invite your peeps to check out The Gypsy Mama and link up to her!
3. Go visit and comment on the blog of the person who linked up before you.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

(Goodness gracious, I don't know where all of these weird words are coming from. I'll understand if this is the last time you're ever here.)

Alrighty, then. Today's prompt is...

Whole

Ready... Set... Go!

Still

We only have a week left in our internship, which is pretty bittersweet. We love what we're doing and don't want to quit, but know we have to in order to finish what we've already begun at school.

Wow.

It's been a long week.

Am I the only one feeling that right now?

Regardless, if you're reading this, you've made it to another Friday. Through another week.

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life, if I'm being honest. More on that later, though.

For now, it's Friday, and therefore, one of my favorite moments of the week: Five Minute Friday!

If you're new around here and aren't sure what that means, I'd love to let you know. Here's the low-down on FMF. Three simple rules:

1. Using the prompt given, write for 5 minutes flat, unedited, unadulterated.

2. Link back to the original Five Minute Friday post, because, well, why wouldn't you?

3. Encourage the person who linked up before you with a kind-hearted comment.

Simple enough, right? I'd have to agree. And now, for today's prompt...

Still

Ready? Set? Go!

Full

My grandma had brain surgery last night and the doctor said it went as well as could have possibly been expected. Whew. 

I've made it.

You've made it.

We've all made it...

to Friday!

I don't know what kind of week you've had, but personally, I'm glad the end is here. A little Friday is just what the doctor ordered, along with a side dish of...

Five Minute Friday!

Here's the 4-1-1 on Five Minute Friday (per The Gypsy Mama), in case you're new to it:

The 4: Write for five minutes flat with no editing or critiquing. 

The 1: Link back to The Gypsy Mama, as I just did.

The 1: Hunt down the person who linked up for F.m.F. before you and give them some comment love.

The prompt this week is...

Full.

(eek.)

Ready... Set... Go!

Loss

Has anyone noticed the rockin' favicon I added? Because I really like it.

Congratulations. If you're reading this, you've made it to another Friday. Pat yourself on the back, find a good movie to watch (if you didn't lose 10 hours of sleeping watching a certain one last night), and enjoy yourself today.

I'm choosing to enjoy myself by doing a few things: going to the doctor, hanging out with my sister, and blogging! More specifically, participating in...

Five Minute Friday!

If you don't know what Five Minute Friday is, allow me to enlighten you. There are three simple rules to FMF, per The Gypsy Mama.

#1 - Write for 5 minutes flat. No editing, no tweaking. Just write.

#2 - Link back to The Gypsy Mama!

#3 - Go give some comment love to the person who did 5 Minute Friday before you!

Simple enough, eh?

Here goes nothing!

Today's prompt is...

Loss 

Ready... Set... Go!

Grateful

So my breathing machine broke and I had to replace it. The thing I'm most disappointed about? It had really cool stickers on it.

It's Thursday... err... I mean... Friday! 

This whole 4 day week thing has thrown me for a loop.

And, as you should know (if you don't, I'll forgive you this once), Friday means something pretty special around here!

It's time for Five Minute Friday!

Here's the 411 (courtesy of The Gypsy Mama), in case you're new to this:

First Rule - Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing, tweaking or self critiquing.

Second Rule - Link back to The Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in.

Third Rule - Go and tell the person who linked up before you what their words meant to you. Every writer longs to feel heard.

Pretty simple, eh? Give it a shot!

This week's prompt?

Grateful

On your mark... Get set... GO!

There's no way on God's green Earth that this is fair. I need 50 minutes to write on this, not just five!

Gratitude is something I've been taught by God since I began a relationship with him. A lot of pretty crappy, sucky stuff has happened over the last few years, and that grateful attitude that he taught me early on really helped push me through (and is continuing to help me to this day).

Something I learned early on was the habit of making lists of things I was thankful for. I've definitely fallen out of that habit (I don't remember the last time I did that), but it's really cool to look back and see how many good things God gives us each and every day.

So today, since I'm only allowed five minutes to talk about how stinking grateful I am, I'm going to make a list!

Here are just a few things I'm grateful for:

You. Without you being here to read all of this gibberish, I wouldn't be able to keep writing. I love writing, but more than anything, I love communicating, and that's a two-way street.

My wife. If it weren't for her, I'd be curled up in the fetal position most days, hiding in a dark corner waiting for someone to find me. Just kidding. But she is pretty awesome.

My fam.

This new medicine that has helped so much.

My new doctor.

My internship.

My education.

My wealth - both worldly and spiritual.

My life. I'm reminded each and every day that I'm alive for a reason. God didn't have to help me fight through these diseases if he didn't want to.

STOP!

Okay, not fair at all. I had a million things running through my head, colliding into each other, causing all kinds of chaos in that five minutes. And I didn't even get to mention one of my favorite things to be thankful for...

COFFEE!

Suffice it to say that this blog wouldn't exist without coffee. 

Anyway... That's my Five Minute Friday for this week! Give it a shot... if you're up to the challenge!

What are you grateful for today? Are there things in your life that you sometimes take for granted that are there every day? What are some of those things? I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else, for that matter!). Just a comment and/or shoot me an e-mail!

Wonder

I'm sort of famous as of yesterday. Maybe I'll share why soon...

It's Friiiiiiiiiiiday!

I would sing that for you, but then I'd lose a lot of friends.

Friday means a lot to me:

First of all, it means a 3 hour day at my internship. And after getting used to 9 hour shifts, 3 hours feels like just enough time to get there, sit down, and leave.

Secondly, it means that the weekend is here and we get to see our families. Call me a homebody, but I love our fams.

But most importantly, it means I get to participate in... Five Minute Friday!

Here are the rules, via The Gypsy Mama, if you aren't familiar:

Rule I...Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing. None. Scary? Well... tough!

Rule II... Link back to The Gypsy Mama so others can participate!

Rule III... Leave some comment-love for the person who linked up before you on TGM's site!

Today's prompt...

Wonder

Ready... Set... Write!

I wonder about a lot of things in this world.

Why, for instance, we park in driveways and drive in parkways.

I also wonder what it would be like to live on the moon. Would I finally not be the only person who isn't underweight? And would there be such a thing as obesity?  

Really, though, I wonder about one thing in particular: why God hasn't healed me from my sickness.

Now, I'm not talking about some sort of metaphorical, spiritual sickness here. I have that, too, to be sure. In all seriousness, though, I wonder why God hasn't healed me from my lung disease.

Does he not care? Does he not feel my pain? Does he not understand?

Or was Jesus an asthmatic? Maybe he had Kartagener's! Or maybe I'm just kooky for thinking such a thing.

Someone recently asked me a very odd question: "Why do you think God hasn't healed you?" I wanted to answer by saying that I'm not God and I in no way want to speak on his behalf - I'm not nearly that cool. Instead, though, I gave it a little thought and came up with this:

Sure, I wonder why God hasn't healed me. I wonder if he ever will. But frankly, he doesn't need to. I pray that he'll heal me so I can work for him better. But truly, my God is bigger than that. He can use me in spite of me. He is SO big that he can use me with diseased lungs. He doesn't need my lungs to be well for me to serve him. He's that big.

And in light of that, I don't wonder as much anymore. Instead, I'm left in awe of how wondrous He is.

END.

What are some things that you wonder about? Do you find yourself pondering the same things on a daily basis? What sort of conclusions have you reached on those things? I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else!). Just leave me a comment or send me an e-mail!

Home

Got to make an ER visit for the first time in a few years - it actually wasn't that bad. Until we get the bill, that is.

As you undoubtedly know (because you're awesome), it's Friday.

This means, as you've already predicted (because you're amazing), that I'm doing a Five Minute Friday post.

And thus, I must share with you the three simple rules that accompany this endeavor, via The Gypsy Mama.

Rule 1 - Write for 5 minutes. No more, no less. And no editing, backtracking, or any other sort of nonsense!
Rule 2 - Link back to The Gypsy Mama and invite others to join (that means YOU!).
Rule 3 - Leave some comment love for the 5 minuter who linked up before you!

Today's prompt?

Home

Ready... Set... Go!

The word "home" evokes a lot for me. For instance, I was born in Oceanside, California. However, I've never been there. And my parents (gotta love 'em!) didn't even know the correct city that I could call my "hometown" until I was 13 and we took a look at my birth certificate!

I also have a place that I used to call home for 12 years of my life. It was a small, 3 bedroom house, with 5 of us living in it, and many others occupying space most of the time. It was a tumultuous time in life, but it was fun.

Then we moved up in the world and moved next door. No lie. But it was a huge improvement. The basement was finished, and there were 4 bedrooms, which doesn't sound like a lot more than 3, but it is if you have the basement bedroom, and therefore, the basement, all to yourself. I loved that as a teenager, even if I see how it allowed me to distance myself from my family when I was younger.

Now, at 21, I don't know where to call "home." When we went to the ER two nights ago, they asked where we lived, and I am never quite sure how to answer that question. We are living with one of Kalyn's cousin's (who is awesome for letting us stay here!), but I often list my mom's address for my address in Wichita. Meanwhile, we also have an apartment in Manhattan, so do we call that "home"? Or is it where we are now?

An old adage says "home is where the heart is," which makes me realize something. My home has nothing to do with a street address or house, or how many bedrooms are in my house. It has everything to do with where my heart is, and right now, it's in a million places at once. So for now, this life, this place, and this house... This is my temporary home. 

STOP!

(I have to admit, I went over my 5 minutes. Barely. But only because I wanted to talk to my wife for a moment!) 

Do you know where your "home" is? What does the word "home" evoke for you? I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else!) in a comment or an e-mail!

Backwards

I'm beyond happy that our Friday workday is only 3 hours.

Whew. It's been a loooong week. Wouldn't you agree? Even around here on Life Before the Bucket, things have been a little unusual. Here's a quick recap:

• We've got a free book giveaway going on until tomorrow morning at 6 AM CST.  Click HERE to enter!

• I introduced everyone to Thing #1, Thing #2, and Thing #3. They're insane little secrets, so if you missed them, check 'em out!

• You guys have been beyond generous with your comments. I LOVE hearing from you, so keep it up!

And now, because it's Friday, and I have a million reasons to celebrate that, it's time for...

Five Minute Friday!

Here are the rules, per The Gypsy Mama:

Rule Uno - Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
Rule Dos - Link back to the Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in. (GO JOIN IN!)
Rule Tres - Get a little crazy with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

And today's prompt is...

Backwards

Ready... Set... Go!

Well, this prompt is just too coincidental. Just four days after I wrote about all of my insides being backwards (Thing #1), this is what I get to write about again. But, you know, I'm proud of it. I'm proud of sometimes living a backwards life.

You see, I didn't grow up with my dad around much. He lived with us until he was 12, but even that shouldn't really count. So, because he was never around, I missed out on learning a lot of things that my mom didn't quite know how to do. For instance, I have no clue how to hunt.

However, that doesn't mean I haven't made the most of my situation. It may be backwards, but I've taught myself a lot of things that my dad forgot to tell me about. For instance, getting the girl of my dreams. I'd say I did pretty well in that department. Other than that, though, there are a lot of little things that many of us rely on fathers for direction for.

I mean, I taught myself to grill (with a little help from my mom), taught myself how to fish (with a little help from a friend), and taught myself to do some more important things, like stand firm in what I believe in.

Now trust me when I say that it wasn't easy. Though I've survived and turned out just fine, not having a dad was hard. It's still hard. I wonder a lot about what it would be like to have him around today. It was almost three summers ago that I took off to Sierra Leone, arrived back in the US, and found out my father had passed away at the age of 40. Now that was backwards.

STOP!

I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and feedback. What was your relationship like with your father? Or are you a dad yourself? How do you want your relationship to be different with your son than it was with your dad? 

Every Day

My post to/for/about Kalyn yesterday was my most popular post ever. I see who the real star around here is...

It's Fridaaaaay!

*cue an insanely annoying song about the penultimate day of the week*

And since today is the glorious day that indicates the end of another work week, I've got another Five Minute Friday for you, brought to you in part by The Gypsy Mama!

Here are the rules:

1. Write for 5 minutes straight without editing your voice.
2. Link back to The Gypsy Mama and invite others to join.
3. Check out the person who did the 5 Minute Friday before you (via TGM's blog) and leave them a comment!

Today's Prompt: "Every Day"

Ready... Set... GO!

On Forgetting

My beautiful wife and I are celebrating our 2 year anniversary (June 2nd is our actual date, in case you were wondering) this weekend. Epiiiiic!

Alright. Here's the deal, ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between.

I have been intending to start a Friday series for the last few weeks. However, I kept forgetting, and this week was no exception. I got up, made my coffee, and went through my blogs that had updated so far this morning, trying to think of what I was going to write about today. And then it hit me as I stumbled over my last blog.

Duh! I wanted to start doing Five Minute Friday!