I Wish it Was Obvious

This post is part of my weekly Time for Honesty. I do my best to share something that's on my heart that is honest, sincere, and transparent - something that will get you thinking and get you to be honest with yourself.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see how tired I am. How worn out my body is. How I feel well for about 2-3 hours a day.

Sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see that I'm not coughing because I'm nervous. I'm not coughing because I have a cold. I'm coughing because (ironically), it helps me get better.

Sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see when I'm walking next to you to your dorm room how hard it is for me to keep up with you. I don't choose to walk slowly; it's the only way I know to get around.

Sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see that when I miss class, it is because I'm tired. But not because I haven't slept. I'm sick, you see. I'm always sick.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

And then I realize.

God sees me in my pain.

He sees my tiredness. He knows why I cough so much. He understands that it's hard for me to keep up. He gets that sometimes, sleep just isn't enough.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

And then I remember.

To him, it is.

Question: Do you deal with anything that you wish was more obvious to others?

I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else)! Just drop me a comment or send me an e-mail!

Wonder

I'm sort of famous as of yesterday. Maybe I'll share why soon...

It's Friiiiiiiiiiiday!

I would sing that for you, but then I'd lose a lot of friends.

Friday means a lot to me:

First of all, it means a 3 hour day at my internship. And after getting used to 9 hour shifts, 3 hours feels like just enough time to get there, sit down, and leave.

Secondly, it means that the weekend is here and we get to see our families. Call me a homebody, but I love our fams.

But most importantly, it means I get to participate in... Five Minute Friday!

Here are the rules, via The Gypsy Mama, if you aren't familiar:

Rule I...Write for 5 minutes flat with no editing. None. Scary? Well... tough!

Rule II... Link back to The Gypsy Mama so others can participate!

Rule III... Leave some comment-love for the person who linked up before you on TGM's site!

Today's prompt...

Wonder

Ready... Set... Write!

I wonder about a lot of things in this world.

Why, for instance, we park in driveways and drive in parkways.

I also wonder what it would be like to live on the moon. Would I finally not be the only person who isn't underweight? And would there be such a thing as obesity?  

Really, though, I wonder about one thing in particular: why God hasn't healed me from my sickness.

Now, I'm not talking about some sort of metaphorical, spiritual sickness here. I have that, too, to be sure. In all seriousness, though, I wonder why God hasn't healed me from my lung disease.

Does he not care? Does he not feel my pain? Does he not understand?

Or was Jesus an asthmatic? Maybe he had Kartagener's! Or maybe I'm just kooky for thinking such a thing.

Someone recently asked me a very odd question: "Why do you think God hasn't healed you?" I wanted to answer by saying that I'm not God and I in no way want to speak on his behalf - I'm not nearly that cool. Instead, though, I gave it a little thought and came up with this:

Sure, I wonder why God hasn't healed me. I wonder if he ever will. But frankly, he doesn't need to. I pray that he'll heal me so I can work for him better. But truly, my God is bigger than that. He can use me in spite of me. He is SO big that he can use me with diseased lungs. He doesn't need my lungs to be well for me to serve him. He's that big.

And in light of that, I don't wonder as much anymore. Instead, I'm left in awe of how wondrous He is.

END.

What are some things that you wonder about? Do you find yourself pondering the same things on a daily basis? What sort of conclusions have you reached on those things? I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else!). Just leave me a comment or send me an e-mail!