What We Need

Today I begin client contact as a part of my journey toward becoming a therapist.

Pardon me.... I think I just threw up a bit as I typed that sentence.

I'm terrified. Petrified. Mortified. Stupified.

But I'm excited.

I've been in school for 18 years now. From kindergarten, all the way through the tail end of my first year of grad school, I've been working hard... all for this moment.

To interact with others in a way that is helpful. To talk with others in a way that is useful. To spend time with others in a way that is loving, edifying, and beneficial. I've worked toward this my entire adult life.

Will I fail? Possibly.
Will I be of any help? Maybe.
Will I mess up? Most certainly.

But does it matter? Is the fear of failure so powerful that we avoid helping others? Are our own egos so fragile that we cannot enter into relationship with those who are broken, giving of ourselves, our time, our emotional resources, and our lives?

What is stopping us?

The world needs love. Pure, unadulterated love. Love uncoerced, love unconstrained. And it needs it now. Today. Right here. In this very moment.

What's stopping us? What keeps us from moving? What keeps us staring at our screens, in the safety of their glow? What stops us from stepping out into the safety of the Light of Love?

Us. Ourselves. Me. You.

There is no other scapegoat but the face we see in the mirror.

Because when it comes down to it - when we really dig deep down inside, we notice something. Whether we wear a different color of skin, or were born into a better set of circumstances, deep down, we're all the same. We don't love others because we ourselves crave and long for love. We don't reach out because nobody has reached to us. We don't sacrifice because we've never seen it done before.

... or have we?

You see, over 2000 years ago, a man - God himself, at that - nullified our excuses. When Jesus sacrificed his life, he also sacrificed his ego, his status, his wealth, his career, his friends, his family, and the love he had already secured. He sacrificed the comfort of Galilee for the brutality of Calvary.

And yet here we are. Terrified. Petrified. Mortified. Stupified.

But why aren't we excited too?

My friends, it's not about what "the world" needs. Because frankly, we're in the world, and we look a lot like it. We need love as badly as our neighbor. Something tells me God had that in mind as he asked us to love others as ourselves.

Because without Love, we're all bankrupt. Empty. Destitute. Alone.

And that's what we fear. We fear that if we reach out, if we sacrifice ourselves in any small way to love others, we'll fall flat on our faces, and nobody will be there to pick us up. And you know what?

I feel the same way.

As I begin this internship, working both at a low-cost counseling center and a homeless shelter, I'm scared of being alone. Of no one understanding. Of no one caring.

And yet, here I am. Terrified. Petrified. Mortified. Stupified. But excited.

Because I know I will be alone at times - at least in appearance.

But I will rest assured that the very God who picked a lonely criminal to be in Paradise with him as he hung to his own death would be willing to do something so simple as to comfort me. To care for me. To pick me up when I fall, dust off my pants for me, and give me a gentle hug. The very God who received no love in his final dying breath will choose to love me so greatly, so powerfully, so deeply, so passionately... it's overwhelming.

Don't you think he wants to do the same for you?

It's not what the world needs.

It's what we all need.

And that is something to be excited about.

... ... ...

What stops you from pursuing others? What opportunities do you have to show love to those around you? How has God shown love to you lately?

Assuming the Position: Maybe I Did, Maybe I Didn't

This post was originally written for and posted by Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary. Enjoy!

Alright, tell me I’m not alone in this:

You’re sitting in church, in those god-awful pews – who decided chairs weren’t good enough, anyway? – and you’re getting a little hazy. The eyes start drooping a little, the drool starts running from your mouth, and then suddenly…

SMACK!

The significant other next to you lays out a new bruise on your finely gelled hair.

Not cool, significant other.

After you get over the fact that you’ve just had a mini-stroke, heart attack, and peed your pants all at once, you’re suddenly more aware than you’ve ever been before. Even though the scenery is still the same, something is different. Your eyes have been opened, even if unwillingly.

That’s where I was at this past summer.

I’m a 21 year old male. I go to a Christian college. So, naturally, I would do my internship at a pregnancy center, right? Riiiiight.

Let’s just say pregnancy centers aren’t exactly overflowing with young adult males who like Jesus.

Thankfully, there were a few guys that graced our presence this summer. Except they didn’t like Jesus, which was fine by me. So we talked about other important stuff – like… sports cars fishing trying to stay sane while the girlfriend is pregnant. So basically, yeah, we talked about sports.

Once a week, though, I would sit in on a class with a few dads that came around this place. We would talk about the importance of dads – and by we, I mean, one guy would talk, and the rest of us would listen. We’d all be watching the clock, hoping God would have mercy on us, and eventually, we would get through the class.

This lasted for 7 weeks.

Seven weeks of sitting in a room, bored out of your mind with two other guys who were at least as bored as I was. And you could tell that the guy teaching didn’t want to be there either. You see, the guys in the class were what we call “court ordered.” So they had to be there. And so we had to be there to teach them.

Cue the head-bobbing, the glazed-over eyes, and the drooling.

Sounds a lot like church, right?

And then the significant other goes and ruins your good hair day.

It was our last class. In fact, it was after our last class was done, and I was so ready to be done with this stuff. I can only handle so much “dad-talk,” since I’d like to think I’m about 20 years removed from having kids (the wife would beg to differ).

And then it happened.

My significant other, aka, the God man himself, smacked me upside the head. And he made it about as obvious as it can get.

The teacher leaves to go print something off for the guys, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of the guys says, “Mannnn, do you believe in destiny?”

After I picked my jaw off of the floor and responded, he went on to tell me about some struggles he was having with his girlfriend and how he’s not sure how hard he should fight for her. I told him that I personally don’t think God has one special person for him and that if he doesn’t get it right, then it’s game over.

Naturally, like in all the good evangelism videos, he wanted to know more. And, frankly, I told him that I didn’t know much more. I told him straight-up that he needed to try praying. To which he replies, “I don’t know how to do that, man.”

WHAT?!

So I taught him to pray that day.

Anyway, I’ll save you the rest of the story by telling you that this kid wasn’t “saved” that day. He didn’t pray “the prayer,” and we didn’t baptize him. But I’d like to think that God got through to him that day.

God reached out to him.

And I'm still hoping, three months later, that this kid reached back.

So maybe I “evangelized” and maybe I didn’t. But I do know that I got to share the love of Jesus with that kid.

And that is all that matters.

... ... ...

Question: Have you ever had an experience like this? When (if ever) did you first "learn" to pray?

Don't forget to find a way to follow Life Before the Bucket!

A Bittersweet Accomplishment

I'm sitting next to a piece of paper that simply says, "Don't placate me." I have no clue what my family was up to last night.

It's Monday, the beginning of a new work week, and...

I don't have to go to work!

It's a beautiful thing, really. But at the same time, it's very bittersweet. Allow me to enlighten you:

A Moment of Clarity

This post is part of my weekly Time for Honesty. I do my best to share something that's on my heart that is honest, sincere, and transparent - something that will get you thinking and get you to be honest with yourself.

This summer, I've been working full-time at the Pregnancy Crisis Center in Wichita.

And by "working full-time," I mean interning for no pay.

It's been a wonderful experience so far. I haven't had a job that would be considered full-time since I was 16, so that's been a learning experience in and of itself.

More than that, though, I've had to learn that in any job, you're going to have ups, and then you're going to have downs. And, frankly, you're probably going to have a lot more downs after the first aforementioned downs, and then you might get a single, glimmering up, followed by more downs.

Modern Day Slavery

I did end up fishing yesterday. Caught some good ol' fashioned water, moss, and sun.

So let me go ahead and clear the air right now. This post isn't going to be about slavery in any way, shape, or form. Or about trafficking, which is definitely the modern day equivalent of slavery. Or about the NFL, since apparently, some guys think it's slavery to work for millions of dollars a year. 

Riiiight.

Really, the title was just to get you here and get you reading, and it worked, didn't it? I promise it's relevant, though, so while you're here, you might as well keep reading!

Here's what's going down: today, my wife and I, along with another girl from our school, are starting our internships (or "DFEs," if you want to get technical - see this post for more details). Today, we begin our 400 hour trek through the summer, working for free. 

I sort of feel like Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness (which is a must-see if you haven't already). Except I don't have a kid. Nor do I forget to pay my taxes. And I'm not nearly that good looking. Minor details. But I definitely have the whole "I'm working a full-time job for free" thing going for me.

Can't you see the resemblance?

MCC, DFE, and Other Mysterious Acronyms

I finished my last paper for the year. Now if only my final presentation would write itself...

 Today, I want to give you a little taste of the world I like to call MCC.

That stands for Manhattan Christian College, in case you were wondering. 

And no, not Manhattan as in Manhattan, New York. Manhattan as in Manhattan, Kansas. Ya know, the "Little Apple."

Oh, you've never heard of it? Don't worry, neither has most of America.

MCC is a funny place. I know that no matter what I write on here about it, I can't win, which is part of what makes it so funny.

It's definitely funny because there's no good pictures of the actual buildings - only this sign.

I could tell you about how it's the college of my dreams and how I never thought such a place of community could exist on a college campus. And that would be at least partially true. However, I'd be in trouble with Jesus because I'd have the whole half-truth thing going on - otherwise known as a lie. So I won't go there.

I could also tell you what it's really like at MCC, and about how imperfect the people are (because, well, they're people) and about the shortcomings of this place. However, I'd be in trouble with everyone but Jesus and my wife for doing this. And I value my life (and my degree), so I'm going to plead the 5th... for now, at least.

Instead, I'll just leave it at this: MCC is a funny place...