Showing posts with label The Very Worst Missionary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Very Worst Missionary. Show all posts

12.19.2011

Assuming the Position: Maybe I Did, Maybe I Didn't

This post was originally written for and posted by Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary. Enjoy!

Alright, tell me I’m not alone in this:

You’re sitting in church, in those god-awful pews – who decided chairs weren’t good enough, anyway? – and you’re getting a little hazy. The eyes start drooping a little, the drool starts running from your mouth, and then suddenly…

SMACK!

The significant other next to you lays out a new bruise on your finely gelled hair.

Not cool, significant other.

After you get over the fact that you’ve just had a mini-stroke, heart attack, and peed your pants all at once, you’re suddenly more aware than you’ve ever been before. Even though the scenery is still the same, something is different. Your eyes have been opened, even if unwillingly.

That’s where I was at this past summer.

I’m a 21 year old male. I go to a Christian college. So, naturally, I would do my internship at a pregnancy center, right? Riiiiight.

Let’s just say pregnancy centers aren’t exactly overflowing with young adult males who like Jesus.

Thankfully, there were a few guys that graced our presence this summer. Except they didn’t like Jesus, which was fine by me. So we talked about other important stuff – like… sports cars fishing trying to stay sane while the girlfriend is pregnant. So basically, yeah, we talked about sports.

Once a week, though, I would sit in on a class with a few dads that came around this place. We would talk about the importance of dads – and by we, I mean, one guy would talk, and the rest of us would listen. We’d all be watching the clock, hoping God would have mercy on us, and eventually, we would get through the class.

This lasted for 7 weeks.

Seven weeks of sitting in a room, bored out of your mind with two other guys who were at least as bored as I was. And you could tell that the guy teaching didn’t want to be there either. You see, the guys in the class were what we call “court ordered.” So they had to be there. And so we had to be there to teach them.

Cue the head-bobbing, the glazed-over eyes, and the drooling.

Sounds a lot like church, right?

And then the significant other goes and ruins your good hair day.

It was our last class. In fact, it was after our last class was done, and I was so ready to be done with this stuff. I can only handle so much “dad-talk,” since I’d like to think I’m about 20 years removed from having kids (the wife would beg to differ).

And then it happened.

My significant other, aka, the God man himself, smacked me upside the head.
And he made it about as obvious as it can get.

The teacher leaves to go print something off for the guys, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of the guys says, “Mannnn, do you believe in destiny?”

After I picked my jaw off of the floor and responded, he went on to tell me about some struggles he was having with his girlfriend and how he’s not sure how hard he should fight for her. I told him that I personally don’t think God has one special person for him and that if he doesn’t get it right, then it’s game over.

Naturally, like in all the good evangelism videos, he wanted to know more. And, frankly, I told him that I didn’t know much more. I told him straight-up that he needed to try praying. To which he replies, “I don’t know how to do that, man.”

WHAT?!

So I taught him to pray that day.

Anyway, I’ll save you the rest of the story by telling you that this kid wasn’t “saved” that day. He didn’t pray “the prayer,” and we didn’t baptize him. But I’d like to think that God got through to him that day.

God reached out to him.

And I'm still hoping, three months later, that this kid reached back.

So maybe I “evangelized” and maybe I didn’t. But I do know that I got to share the love of Jesus with that kid.

And that is all that matters.

... ... ...

Question: Have you ever had an experience like this? When (if ever) did you first "learn" to pray?

Don't forget to find a way to follow Life Before the Bucket!

12.05.2011

Assuming the Position

We're only getting about 8 hours of solid daylight around here. Not good motivation for the last week of school. Or finals. Boo, finals.

I'm pretty stoked.

Overwhelmingly stoked, in fact.

One of my favorite blogs, authored by Jamie Wright, the Very Worst Missionary, is renting out their web space to me!

She's a pretty awesome woman (even though I've never actually met her), and her husband has a beard that's even better than mine.

Plus, there's a picture of me there from when I was like 15 (it's from my Twitter account - my wife was kind enough to laugh at me for it) and didn't even have a beard.

So do yourself (and me!) a favor and go check it out, leave some feedback, and thank Jamie for letting me guest post! And give her a "follow" while you're at it!

You guys rock. Thanks in advance.

7.10.2011

Oops, I Did it Again

I'm not sure what's with all of the song-inspired titles lately...

Today I'm going to do something daring. Something crazy. Something a little wacky.

I'm going to break some sort of unwritten blogging code and hope the blog police don't come for me.

I'm going to, once more, grovel for guest posts.

I received some great responses the first time I posted about this a couple of weeks ago, so I just wanted to throw the opportunity out there once more for anyone who might have missed it or maybe had just forgotten.

I need some awesome, epic guest posters!

That means YOU! 

So, for the sake of not writing the exact same blog post twice, I wanted to share a few guest posts with you to help inspire you. Consider this my Shameless Plugging for the week, so I don't seem completely self-centered and self-promoting.

"Beating Writer's Block" by Jon Acuff - This is the most recent guest post that I've read and has some great advice for writers from Jon Acuff, a Christian blogger and author. He posted on a blog site called Money Saving Mom, which sounds completely out of his realm, and I thought that was pretty gutsy.

What I learned from this guest post: You can guest post anywhere. All you have to do is ask!

My Guest Post at My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream - Alright, this is pretty self-centered and self-promoting, I have to admit. But this is just another example of a guest post that may have been in a realm that doesn't necessarily line up with the one I normally write in.

What I learned from this guest post: If you guest post, you're guaranteed to sound funnier and smarter. I'm not sure why, but that's just the way it works. Sort of like when you eat someone else's ice cream. It always tastes better than it would have if it was your own.

"My Average Day Mostly Sucks" by Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary - I'm not sure what it was about this guest post, but it is one of my favorites. Jamie took F.U. Question's theme and flipped it on its head and then made a great guest post out of it!

What I learned from this guest post: I will never, in a million, bajillion years, be able to write as well as Jamie Wright. Sometimes, you just have to know when to admit these sort of things.

What I actually learned: You don't even have to run with a blog's theme when writing a guest post. Which means you could actually write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket explaining why you don't have a Bucket List or why you hate making goals. You just never know what I could go for!

Hopefully this has encouraged you to think about guest posting not only here, but on your other favorite blogs as well! Let me know if you're interested in guest posting here through a comment or in an e-mail and we'll make it happen!

4.26.2011

I'm a Terrible Christian

I'm sorry, but there's no way in a million lifetimes that I can follow up yesterday's blog post. Did you miss it? Check it out here. And if you were wondering, I DID surprise Kalyn.

A Quick Note: I'm pretty sure today's post was partially inspired by something I read yesterday from Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary. She's funny, honest, and has a much cooler blog than my own. You can (and should) check it out here. Do it.
____________________________________________________________

I'm going to jump right in. I've been thinking all morning of a way to sugarcoat this, and it just ain't happening. So here's the scoop: I suck, suck, suck at being a Christian. This becomes more evident to me every day that I live, and especially every day that I attend a Christian college. Here's my (mostly satirical, somewhat serious) reasoning for the conclusion I've drawn:
  1. I was not born in a pew, which I hear is major qualification #1 for being a radical Christian. Heck, I don't remember seeing a church until I was 10, and even then, I just went there to play games.
  2. I sang a song about David and Goliath around that same age for some choir thing in school. As I sang, I always secretly wished that Goliath had won so that I could be one of his descendants and be at least 10 feet tall.
  3. I attend a Christian college now, but until my junior year of high school (I would've been about 17 for anyone counting), I didn't know such a thing existed. And at the ripe, young age of 21, I'm still not really sure what a "Christian college" is. Forgive me, MCC. Forgive me.
Tough stuff, eh? I mean, really, I'll need to probably work the rest of my life to right these wrongs. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of my "real" failures at being a Christian. I suppose, though, that I should give you a little insight into just how unqualified I am. And when I say this, I'm being completely and totally honest. Cross my fingers, hope to die, and all that bizarre stuff we said as children when we really meant something...
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