I'm a Terrible Christian

I'm sorry, but there's no way in a million lifetimes that I can follow up yesterday's blog post. Did you miss it? Check it out here. And if you were wondering, I DID surprise Kalyn.

A Quick Note: I'm pretty sure today's post was partially inspired by something I read yesterday from Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary. She's funny, honest, and has a much cooler blog than my own. You can (and should) check it out here. Do it.

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I'm going to jump right in. I've been thinking all morning of a way to sugarcoat this, and it just ain't happening. So here's the scoop: I suck, suck, suck at being a Christian. This becomes more evident to me every day that I live, and especially every day that I attend a Christian college. Here's my (mostly satirical, somewhat serious) reasoning for the conclusion I've drawn:

1. I was not born in a pew, which I hear is major qualification #1 for being a radical Christian. Heck, I don't remember seeing a church until I was 10, and even then, I just went there to play games.
2. I sang a song about David and Goliath around that same age for some choir thing in school. As I sang, I always secretly wished that Goliath had won so that I could be one of his descendants and be at least 10 feet tall.
3. I attend a Christian college now, but until my junior year of high school (I would've been about 17 for anyone counting), I didn't know such a thing existed. And at the ripe, young age of 21, I'm still not really sure what a "Christian college" is. Forgive me, MCC. Forgive me.

Tough stuff, eh? I mean, really, I'll need to probably work the rest of my life to right these wrongs. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of my "real" failures at being a Christian. I suppose, though, that I should give you a little insight into just how unqualified I am. And when I say this, I'm being completely and totally honest. Cross my fingers, hope to die, and all that bizarre stuff we said as children when we really meant something...

I've never read through the entire Bible.

Oops. I mean, well, what I mean is that... I just, I haven't had time, and, well, you see...

Riiight.  

At this point, I could start losing readership. Or gaining it. It's hard to say these days. Or maybe you're like me, and you just don't really care that much. I mean, honestly. Maybe you're a Christian, too, and you haven't read the entire Bible, and you're just now realizing that this is a "problem" as you read this. Or maybe you're not a Christian, and you could care less because you would rather be reading something like Gulliver's Travels. Either way, I'm with you, so stick with me.

Like I said, I have no excuses. Mostly because I'm terrible at making them up and I just start laughing when I make them up. Here's a couple of excuses I could use:

• I don't like to read. False.
• I'm dyslexic. Eslaf.
• I don't have time. Definitely False.
• I just don't have a Bible that I like to read. Ha! Think again...

Yup. You're seeing what you think you're seeing. Bibles. Lots and lots of Bibles. Soft-cover, hard-cover, electronic, pocket-size, King James, Greek, and even Spanish! SO many Bibles in our apartment. TOO many. PLEASE TAKE ONE (except my Kindle - I'm keeping that for the other books on it)!

And that doesn't even include any Bibles that Kalyn is hiding in our bedroom!

Basically, what it comes down to is this: I'm human. In fact, as I recall, we're pretty much all human. We all have excuses, and like armpits, they all stink. So this year, in 2011, I'm ignoring all of my armpits and doing what I've never done before. I'm going to read all of the books of the Bible that I think I've never read.

I counted this morning and was a little bewildered at how much of the Bible I'll need to read before the year is over to do this. In fact, let me be a little vulnerable with you here and let you in on how many of those 66 books I'll need to read:

34.

Don't judge me!

This is no lie. If I was lying, I'd either say 33 (because it's half, and that's just fun) or 37 (because it's my wife's favorite number, and I can always use the thoughtful-husband points). Instead, though, I'm stuck with 34, which really isn't all that appealing.

At this point, then, after showing you my shortcoming and letting you know the goal I've set to overcome it, I want to do something about it. So I'm going to stop rambling on here and get to reading.

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Do you "suck" at being something that you're supposed to be? What sort of shortcomings are you hesitant to reveal to others? What can you do about those things right this second? 

  

Leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail at awaller1990@gmail.com!

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