Nacrolepsy, Tetrazzini, and Farm and Fleet, Oh My! - Pt. 2

It's a great day. I'd say about 126% of the reason for that is because it's Friday.

Road trips are always interesting. There's always something that gets in the way of plans unfolding just the way you envisioned them. Whether it's spontaneous combustion, a pack of untamed baboons, or an unexpected stop at Nostalgia Ville, something always interrupts road trip plans. Thankfully, none of these things happened during our Spring Break journey, though I'd love to stop by Nostalgia Ville again sometime soon.

If you squint, you can see Kalyn being really cool in this picture.

When I last wrote about our Spring Break, we had made it Des Moines (again, prounounced "Dess Moy-ness") to spend time with Kelsey's family. We arrived Saturday in the early afternoon and planned to stay the night and leave the next day. We had a very relaxing time with the Taylors as we vegged, watched some of the NCAA Tournament (before everyone's brackets exploded), went on a random Wal-Mart run, ate taco salad/burritos/soft tacos, and played some board games.

As an aside, I have to tell you a very sad, disappointing story about the time we spent with Kelsey's kin. As previously mentioned, we went on a Wal-Mart run, and part of the purpose of this was so that Kelsey's mom could get ingredients for her famed Chicken Tetrazzini. She had planned to make it for lunch the next day. Kelsey talks the Tetrazzini up quite a bit because one of Kalyn and my favorite meals is Chicken/Tuna Tetrazzini, a wonderful comfort food inherited from my wonderful mom.

This is where I would insert a picture of my mom's Tuna Tetrazzini. Unfortunately, it's a fabled creature of sorts (like Big Foot), so getting a picture of it is nearly impossible. This is the closest thing I could find.

Little did we know that we would figure out in a couple of hours that we wouldn't be enjoying this fabulous meal the next day. We had our adventure planned out to a tee (thanks to my wonderful wife's hard work), so we had to leave immediately following church the next day, forcing us to eat sandwiches on the road instead of the delectable meal that I was so looking forward to.

After church on Sunday, we quickly left Des Moines (as any sane person would do) on our way to bigger and better things. Our next stop? Chicago!


According to Kalyn's careful planning, this was going to be one of our longest days. We would drive to Chicago, spend a few hours there, and then zip on up to her aunt and uncle's house in Wakarusa, Indiana, arriving sometime around 10 or 11 PM (we never did figure out the whole time zone thing). We had no idea how long the day would really be.

We traveled rather nonchalantly for a while (how long, I'm unsure of). As I dozed in one of my many states of narcolepsy, I was suddenly woken by a sharp turn and some scolding by our Garmin, affectionately named Carmen (original, right?). To this day, I'm not really sure what happened, but next thing I knew, we were exiting the highway we had been on forever. And then we heard it...

Thud, Thud, Thud, Thud...

In case you're not familiar with that beautiful noise, it's what a flat tire sounds like. 

Oh, yeah. That just happened. So we pulled off to the side of the highway, which just happened to have a shoulder the size of Montana. Unfortunately, the front driver's side tire also had a hole the size of Montana in it, so we were effectively stuck in the middle of nowhere.

This is where I could sidebar and tell you about my first impromptu tire-changing experience. I'll save that for another time, though.

Thankfully, Kelsey and I both had experience with changing tires, so we changed it with no problems. Meanwhile, Kalyn was documenting the entire experience (pun definitely intended).

 

After changing the tire in 30 seconds flat (Kalyn timed us - unofficially, of course), we headed off to the nearest Wal-Mart (thanks to Carmen, the Garmin). That was definitely the biggest mistake we made on our trip.

Carmen, with her sick, twisted sense of humor, took us to the Wal-Mart in Geneseo, Illinois. Never heard of it? We wish we hadn't either.

Honestly, Geneseo wasn't that bad (in my mind). If you asked either of the girls, they would probably describe Geneseo as something comparable to Purgatory. Really, though, it was just a small town in the middle of Illinois with a Wal-Mart the size of my backyard.

Okay, so maybe I'm being facetious. But it was, by far, the smallest Wal-Mart I've ever seen. Thankfully, a nice lady informed us that they didn't have any sort of auto repair at their Wal-Mart, but the local Farm and Fleet did.

Farm and Fleet?

Say wha...?

Though we had no clue what the lady was talking about, we took her word for it, mostly because she was much older, wiser, and nicer than us, and headed in the direction she pointed us. This is what we found:

There really is a place called "Farm and Fleet"... and apparently some guy named Blain (or is that Blair?) owns it.

Alright, this is where I confess. We are all pretty ignorant of companies outside of where we have lived, so Farm and Fleet sounded awfully sketchy to us. It really wasn't, but if you asked the girls, they would probably describe walking into Farm and Fleet as descending into the nine circles of Hell.

To make a long story a little shorter, we were told that they could change our tire. We waited for 20ish minutes, and then we found out some more wonderful news: Kelsey's tires were imported from Mars. They don't exist. At least not in Geneseo, Illinois. A really nice guy told us there was a Firestone back in Moline that would still be open (at this point, it's getting into the late afternoon, nearing suppertime), so we headed back that way.

We got to the Firestone, and the attendant there was ridiculously helpful. He definitely went above and beyond his job description as he helped us navigate our predicament. Here's what he told us:

Problem 1: Kelsey's tires really are imported from Mars. They don't exist in Moline, or any of the other 100 stores the guy called.

Problem 2: It's Sunday afternoon. The tire stores that do import from Mars are all closed.

Problem 3: We're supposed to be in Chicago, not Moline. And there's no chance in this world (or any other) that our donut tire will make it to Chicago. 

Thankfully, he was able to come up with a solution that would sort of solve all three of our problems.

Solution 1: Find a tire that's imported from the Moon (which is much more feasible), and it'll be close enough in size that we should be able to finish our trip.

Granted, none of us know anything about cars or tires, so this guy could have been taking us for a ride and robbing Kelsey of whatever it is that a tire costs. Thankfully, he wasn't lying, and we did find a tire that was very close in size, replaced it, and finally made it out of Moline.

Unfortunately, it was entirely too late to go to Chicago and visit another family that we met in Taiwan. We were all very sad about missing out on this opportunity, but hopefully we'll get to see them soon!

We (and by "we," I mean Kelsey) proceeded to drve for what seemed like forever until we finally reached Wakarusa, Indiana. If you don't know where that is, don't worry. I've been there twice and still don't believe that it exists. We arrived sometime around 10 PM and settled in. Aunt Kelly waited up for us, so we unloaded, talked for a little bit, and then hit the sack.

Whew. I'm tired just typing about that day.

And thus concludes the second and third stops in our epic Spring Break travels! Leave a comment, share this post, and subscribe if you're so inclined! Check back soon for another update!