It Isn't That Hard

So I live with this girl.

Her and I, we're pretty different.

She likes Pinterest. I like my Playstation.

She runs half-marathons for fun (because she's that epic). I... Well, I cheer for her, and that's pretty fun.

She's smart - sometimes even smarter than me. But I definitely have a better beard than her.

Also worth noting: we're terrible at taking pictures together.
This one is over two and a half years old.

And you know, with all of the personality between the two of us, you would think that World Wars III and IV would take place in our little apartment.

Truth be told, though, that isn't the case.

I know this flies in the face of everything you may have been taught about marriage or have experienced in your own marriage (or in your parent's), but...

We get along.

We kinda like each other a lot.

And I don't know if we've ever gotten in a knock-down, fight-it-out argument. In fact, I'm pretty sure we haven't.

(Yup. Wife just verified it: no WWE Smackdown has ever happened here.)

Oh. Wait. There is this one thing. Just Google "The Drawbridge Exercise." Herein lies the fiercest divide our household has ever seen. You've been warned.

But you know what? We can disagree. And that's okay, too. We allow that around here. But frankly, we agree about almost everything.

Sure, sure, sure. I can just hear it now:

"You're both wearing rose-colored glasses."

"You haven't been married long enough."

"Just wait until you have kids."

Here's the thing, though. We've been through so many ups and downs together that we've essentially bullet-proofed ourselves from any potential collateral damage of circumstantial turmoil.

We've faced death together. We've wrestled with the reality of having a child. I've been sick to the point of not being able move for long periods of time. We've dealt with family conflict. Church drama. School drama. Friends abandoning us. Loved ones leaving.

We've also savored the more fleeting moments of peace and contentment. Sabbath dinners together. Nighttime prayers. Ridiculous dates. Our times of good health. Road trips. Weddings. Birthday parties. Family get-togethers.

High and low, we stay the same. Our love for each other, though expressed differently in varying circumstances, never changes.

And you know what? It isn't that hard.

We haven't had to fight for our marriage.

We don't have to wrestle with trust issues.

We aren't constantly struggling to give love where there is none.

And this isn't to say that we don't care. We love each other fiercely, with unbridled passion for one another. 

I guess it just comes naturally. And we take no credit for that. We give credit where credit is due: to the source of love himself. It wouldn't be possible without him. And you know, it probably wouldn't be this easy, either. 

... ... ...

Question: Should marriage be difficult? Why or why not? What are some ways that you've discovered to have an easier, more fulfilling marriage?

If you enjoy what you've read, I'd also appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing this post with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Living an Ersatz Life

So I learned a new word last week, and I haven't been able to let go of it.

I've been thinking about it, chewing on it, pondering it, and I've just about had enough of it. I've gotta get it off of my chest.

The word, courtesy of Experimental Theology, is ersatz.

Ersatz is everything we're not about around here. Simply put, ersatz describes something that is fake. If something is ersatz, it's a replacement, and a crappy one at that.

For instance, many people, especially outside of the United States, would declare American football to be an ersatz football game, preferring the kind people actually play with their feet.

Meanwhile, many Apple fans preach that PCs are ersatz computers, trying to convert us to the dark side.

But I digress.

Seriously, though. This is a word that'll make you think.

Personally, I think about the idea of living an ersatz life, and I get a little nervous.

Living ingeniously is one of my biggest fears, but as someone who thrives off of the encouragement of others, it's a realistic possibility. I like to think that I'm an independent, self-sufficient adult, but I'll be the first to tell you: that's a dirty lie.

The truth is, I wouldn't be worth my weight in toilet paper if I wasn't encouraged along the way by some awesome people like yourselves. If blogs didn't have a comment feature, I'd be up a creek (and I'm not much of a swimmer). I treasure kind words.

The danger, though, is that while I crave encouragement, I also tend to crave approval.

I can't help it; I want you to like me.

And while I've learned a thing or two about people not liking me, it doesn't mean I've mastered the art of ignoring the haters. Sadly, I walk a fine line every day between appealing to others and becoming what they want me to be at the expense of who I actually am. And though people have great intentions, something tells me that who they want me to be is an inferior replacement of who I actually am.

I don't want to live an ersatz life when I've been called to so much more.

... ... ... 

Question: Do you sometimes find yourself living an ersatz life? What influences you to be someone you aren't? How can you genuinely be yourself today? 

If you enjoy what you've read, I'd also appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing this post with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Win of the Week

It's one of those days.

You know, the three-cups-of-coffee-won't-wake-me-up kind of day.

But, regardless of how worn out you are, you made it. It's Friday.

And around here, it means something relatively new.

We think we're pretty special people, and in living life as fully as possible, we get a little worn out. We need a pat on the back, and so we come here to get it.

This week has been exhausting beyond belief for me. It was our first full week of school. It was also my first full week off of my antibiotics, which means the darned bacteria in my lungs gets a chance to recover from my attack on them.

It was a great week, though.

A picture of a picture, because I AM that tired today.

My win of the week? Definitely getting to see our family both last Sunday (that was still this week, right?) and this coming weekend. Last weekend we had a birthday party, and this weekend, we'll probably just relax, play board games, and pick on my youngest sister, Tanna, because we all know she's smarter and more talented than the rest of us and want to feel good about ourselves.

I kid, I kid.

So what about you? What was/is/is going to be your win of the week?

I've Got a Confession

Alright, fellow Bucketeers. I've got a confession to make.

But it isn't happening here!

Caleb Wilde, over at Confessions of a Funeral Director, has so kindly allowed me to use his web space carry out my ultimate plan to takeover the internet to share a post with him and his crowd.

Rumor has it that there will also be a ridiculous picture of me (and my beard) posted as well.

So come on over and read what I've written, leave your thoughts in the form of a comment, and share it with your friends!
 
Thanks!

Click the image to check out my guest post!

On Being (C)overt

Something came up yesterday that really struck me in a way I didn't like.

I tried to shake it. I tried to ignore it. I tried to set it on fire and throw it out the window. It just. wouldn't. go. away.

The worst part was that it was about myself.

If you've been around Life Before the Bucket for any amount of time, you might have noticed that my writing covers a pretty broad range of topics. I enjoy talking about my wife, my marriage, school, God, Christianity, living with chronic illness, adoption, my pet peeves (like captchas and typos), any many, many other things.

Frankly, I love writing about life.

Yesterday, though, I realized something about my writing that I'm not so sure about.

I make no bones about the fact that I'm a Christian. I strive to follow Jesus in his example of love for God and for others, and that belief informs everything I do. My writing is no exception. My beliefs can and do bleed into my words.

Here's the thing, though. When I write, I'm always thinking in some way or another about Scripture. So, for the most part, my writing is inspired by words I've read in the Bible during my short life as a follower of Jesus. However, I'm not writing a blog specifically about the Bible (except to say that I suck at reading it), so I rarely mention in an overt fashion.

What I do want to make clear, though, is that I believe, like one of our professors says, that "All truth is God's truth." So when I write, I hope that my words communicate that truth clearly without beating you over your proverbial (or literal) head with Bible verses.

Is this okay? I'm not sure.

Would you prefer a more overt approach to Scripture from me? Or do you enjoy this more subtle style that I've chosen to employ thus far in my writing journey?

I think I know where I stand with this, but I wanted to hear from you, whoever you are, to gauge your thoughts.

What you think about this is important and means a lot to me. If you could take a moment to leave a comment with your thoughts, I would be greatly appreciative.

If you enjoy what you've read, I'd also appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing this post with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!