More Reflections

You can see my first set of reflections here.

After reading a blog post from a blog that I truly enjoy, I find myself wanting to write simply for the sake of writing. Not for the comments. Not to send a message. Not to rattle cages or to make someone laugh. I want to write just to write.

Why? Because I find joy in it. Sometimes I find purpose and meaning in it. I don't know that it's "okay" in my mind to write without a purpose, but I wonder if I could be wrong in my thinking.

I write because I believe that God can communicate through my words. However, I know that he could just as easily find another way to give you a pat on the back today. Or to let you hear those words you desperately need. Am I wrong in thinking that God wants to use me?

This hasn't been the easiest few months. I enjoy most things less than I would like to. I believe that God loves us enough to let us enjoy life. But what happens when the joy ceases? Or decreases? Again, does this mean I was wrong and that I'm not to enjoy life? That doesn't seem to make much sense. But then again, that's the case with a lot of happenings in life. Trying to makes heads or tails of these events just makes them more painful.

I know a lot of things to be true. I'm smart, not because of anything I've done, but simply because that's how God created me. I'm not as quiet as I appear - I simply enjoy hearing what others have to say. I know that God has transformed my life in a way that no scientist can explain.

It's those things that I'm unsure of, though, that get me. When it's quiet and no one else is around - something else I enjoy - those things badger me, begging me to validate them.

I know, though, that God never intends those things to be known. Instead, he simply asks that I try to do what he wants me to do, and trust that it'll make sense in the end.