Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from Aly Lewis, a fellow blogger. Aly is a twenty-something writer from San Diego, CA. When she’s not writing ridiculously witty and yet still thoughtful and inspiring copy for the international non-profit Plant With Purpose, you can find her roller blading, showing off her dope hip hop moves, or overanalyzing her quarter life crisis.
Aly has a passion for social and ecological justice, anyone who speaks Spanish, and experiencing the God of the unexpected. You can check out her mismatched musings on her blog, Memoirs of Algeisha, or on Twitter!
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The feeling only comes in two sizes: regular - can’t shake this vexing sensation but still able to function, and extra large - paralyzing, life-stopping, all-consuming.
If you allow this unwanted guest to sneak past the bouncer of extra large you can pretty much say hello to an eternity of bumping and grinding with this guy in the nightclub of hell. When he comes looking for you in your modest skirt and smoothed hair, assuming invincibility because you don’t flaunt yourself around like a floozy, you need to stop, drop, and roll off the bus leading you down the one-way highway to the danger zone.
Trust me, you do not want to let this guy anywhere near you, your hopes, your future, your children, even your dog. He will squash your dreams and eat your confidence for breakfast. He will steal your identity and transform you into a small, frightened child. His presence prickles your hair and dries your mouth. With your heart beating like a conga drum, he wraps his icy fingers around your tender throat, daring you to call out his name. But you can’t reveal his identity. You don’t even know who he is.
But I do. He is the unwelcome elephant of fear and self-hatred.
You give him an inch and he’ll take a foot, your leg, your whole body and mind, and your little dog too.
This is not a life to the full.
I used to let this elephant rule my life. I used to tell myself awful stories. Depressing, really. I told myself stories of how dumb I was. How ugly. How boring. How awful. I was never good enough. Even in my relationship with God I wasn’t good enough.
So I left the church. I left it all. What was the point? How was I supposed to love God or love my neighbors if I didn’t love myself?
And I stayed there, angry and encumbered.
Until I became God’s basking case.
No, not basket case, (although I’m sure there’s a hint of that, too). Basking case.
This part of the story starts with a rebuttal.
When I first came back to church, people started asking me if they could pray for me. Most of the time, I said no.
But after awhile, after racking my brain to come up with anything I might like the almighty creator of the universe to help me out with, I finally decided on the one prayer request I felt comfortable asking.
“I’d like to be able to love and serve others better,” I mumbled more to my feet than to anyone in particular.
And the response?
“No, that is not what you should pray for.”
Excuse me?
Since when does a prayer request have to pass quality control? When I was a junior high youth leader we'd pray for students' sick fish, cats, and Nano babies. No prayer was too big or too small.
But the congregation had spoken: I was not to pray to serve others better.
“I have an image for you instead,” they said--they all said, different people on different occasions. All with the same image, the same concept. The same Instead...
Instead they all had an image of me basking in God's love.
One couple told me, "Aly, you are beautiful. I see you lying in a meadow. Soaking in God's love."
Another woman (on a separate occasion) told me: "I see a picture of you in a field of flowers, basking in God's love."
Another person straight up told me, "No, I don't think you should pray to love others. I believe you need to bask in God's love."
The first time I heard this, I scoffed.
The second time I heard this, I scoffed.
The third time I heard this, I started to get nervous.
Basking, really? That’s about the sissiest verb I’ve ever heard and somehow everyone in this church is obsessed with it.
I didn't want images of soaking and basking and laying lazily in a field of wild flowers. I wanted to help people. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted my god to care about injustice and oppression. I wanted my god to help me love others better, to quiet the guilt in my heart for being born to a well-off family in the wealthiest country in the world.
If you're going to give me an image, I thought, let it be of selling all I have and giving it to the poor. An image of writing award winning exposés that shut down sweat shops and bring justice to the marginalized around the world. An image of revolution. Of anger. Of action.
That's not what my church friends had for me. And it's not what God had for me either.
Check back tomorrow for Part Two of Aly's story!
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Questions: Does being God's basking case sound "sissy" to you? How would you react if someone told you that you should focus on basking in his love? Do you struggle with the unwanted elephant that Aly describes?
This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way.
3.20.2012
3.19.2012
It's Spring Break!
This is undoubtedly the best Monday of the year.
Unless Christmas is on a Monday. And it isn't. Carry on!
Technically, it's the first day of Spring Break. Realistically, though, it's the third or fourth day we've been out of school (depending on where you attend and your class schedule).
Of course, if you're a real adult, you gave up the dream of Spring Break long ago. Now it mostly means trying to occupy your kids for a week while managing to somehow still make money. And that's no good.
It could be worse, though. Your forecast could call for rain all week (like ours does). So much for getting a nice tan or reading outside all week. My Kindle is allergic to the rain, so I'm going to have to pass on that one.
And as if that isn't enough, you could be spending Spring Break somewhere that was mocked by a national late night show host:
Unless Christmas is on a Monday. And it isn't. Carry on!
Technically, it's the first day of Spring Break. Realistically, though, it's the third or fourth day we've been out of school (depending on where you attend and your class schedule).
Of course, if you're a real adult, you gave up the dream of Spring Break long ago. Now it mostly means trying to occupy your kids for a week while managing to somehow still make money. And that's no good.
It could be worse, though. Your forecast could call for rain all week (like ours does). So much for getting a nice tan or reading outside all week. My Kindle is allergic to the rain, so I'm going to have to pass on that one.
And as if that isn't enough, you could be spending Spring Break somewhere that was mocked by a national late night show host:
Of course, that is where I'm currently spending Spring Break, but that's beside the point. Also, I'd like to note that we don't sound like we're from Wisconsin (like that lady). Also, I've never worn a parka in my life. And, as the forecast shows, you'd die of a heat stroke in a parka if you were in Wichita this Spring Break.
Now that we've cleared up some misconceptions about Wichita...
Most of the people that read this blog, though, are stuck without a Spring Break. And though I think that should be illegal, the least I can do is help you to dream. So let's dream together.
If you were given a Spring Break to do whatever you wanted, where would you go and how would you spend your time?
Personally, I'd want to be somewhere that I could accomplish one of my life goals, like skydiving, bungee jumping, or seeing one of the Seven Wonders of the World. And it would have to be somewhere that doesn't have rain all week; I've gotta get my tan on.
So what about you? What would your dream Spring Break look like?
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
3.17.2012
Saturday Showdown
I want to try something new around here.
The winner can also have this cool virtual trophy. |
I'm all about sharing my platform with others (as evidenced by the epic guest post series we have going on), but I wanted to do more.
Thus, the Saturday Showdown was born.
The concept is simple, really. I'll provide you with links and snippets of two blog posts from the past week that I really enjoyed (for whatever reason). I'll present them to you, and then we'll put them up for a vote. All votes must be in by 11:59 PM Central Time (US). The winner will be featured for a week as the current Saturday Showdown Champion (so... free advertising!).
Sound easy enough? Well, then. Let's get ready to rumble!
Contestant #1 - "As If There Is No God" by Caleb Wilde
The “Death of God” for Bonhoeffer isn’t akin to atheism as one might immediately assume.
It’s a God immanent, not a god transcendent.
It’s a death to the god of the gaps.
It’s a death to the “opiate of the masses”.
It’s a death to the “deus ex machina“.
It’s the rejecting of the god above us who can miraculously solve all our fears by offering a hope of heaven.
I’m not perfect, but I am loved.
I’m not in control, but I know personally the One who is.
I can’t fix everything, but God placed me in the midst of people willing to help.
I am overwhelmed, but my God is bigger.
And as God’s voice grows louder, the annoying “drip… drip… drip” of Satan’s lies slowly fades away.
It’s a death to the “deus ex machina“.
It’s the rejecting of the god above us who can miraculously solve all our fears by offering a hope of heaven.
Contestant #2 - "You're NOT in Control!" by Rebekah Freed
I’m not perfect, but I am loved.
I’m not in control, but I know personally the One who is.
I can’t fix everything, but God placed me in the midst of people willing to help.
I am overwhelmed, but my God is bigger.
And as God’s voice grows louder, the annoying “drip… drip… drip” of Satan’s lies slowly fades away.
After you've checked out both of these blog posts, be sure to vote in our poll! (Refresh the page to see current results after you vote)
So there you have it! Who is going to be our first official Saturday Showdown Champion? It's up to you, my friends.
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After you vote, be sure to leave a comment telling us why you enjoyed the post you picked!
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading
3.16.2012
Win of the Week
It's here. It's finally here. Friday is upon us, my friends.
Another week is almost in the books, and around here, that means we do a little something to celebrate.
We share the best moments of our week together, sharing virtual pats on the back as we go.
My friends, it's time to share your Win of the Week!
Despite the headache I have right now, this has been a fantastic week. First of all, it's been about 80 degrees (F) everyday (26 degrees Celcius for the people with normal temperatures that read this blog). For the 2nd/3rd week of March, it's incredible. Heck, we could have even turned on our air conditioner! However, I have a strict "No A/C before Spring Break" rule, and I'm a man of principle, so we didn't.
Beyond great weather, this is the week before Spring Break, which is cause for celebration in and of itself. I can't wait to relax for a week. Plus, Spring Break signals that we only have about a month left of school, which is mind-boggling to think about. We'll be graduating a month and a half from now!
However, neither of those things top my Win of the Week. My Win of the Week has got to be...
Receiving my acceptance letter into the Master's Program I applied for!
We're so excited to finally know what we're going to do with our lives after this school year. People have been asking us, and we always told them that this was our "Plan A", and that we didn't really have a "Plan B." We brainstormed and came up with some crazy ideas for Plan B, but we didn't end up needing it!
So, in the fall, I will be continuing my education at another school back in Wichita, where I'm from. I'll be pursuing a degree in Family Therapy so that I can obtain my license to become a Marriage and Family Therapist! I'm going from being a Crusader to being a Falcon (a drastic improvement, to be sure).
They interviewed about 100 people, and around 30 to 35 were accepted. And hey, I completed a goal on my 52 in 2012 by making it into this program!
They interviewed about 100 people, and around 30 to 35 were accepted. And hey, I completed a goal on my 52 in 2012 by making it into this program!
So that, my friends, is my Win of the Week.
So... What about you? What was your Win of the Week?
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!
3.14.2012
Re-Introducing a Good Friend
We all have a good friend or two that we're proud to know.
Take, for instance, American Idol. This show features everyday people who want to make it big in the music industry. Last season featured two sixteen year olds as finalists. That's right. At the ripe, young age of 16, they were a step away from their dreams. I'm betting that they have more than a few friends willing to claim them.
And though we can't all have friends who could win American Idol, we do have friends that we take pride in. Because of these friends, our lives are a little easier. Because of these friends, our lives are a little less hectic. Because of these friends, life is a little more enjoyable.
You know the kind of friend I'm talking about.
Well, today I want to introduce you to a good friend of mine. This friend definitely makes my life easier. I can't imagine not knowing this friend. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that this friend is a life saver. And best of all, you can know this friend, too!
No, this isn't a cheesy "I'm going to introduce you to Jesus" ploy, though it's tempting.
The friend I want to introduce you today is...
Jesus!
Ha! Just kidding.
Now for real. The friend I want to introduce you to is...
The Google "Next" button!
Okay, yeah, a little lame. I know, I know.
The Google Reader "Next" button has been a life-saver for me since I began reading blogs. At first, I just had a huge folder of links that I browsed everyday. Eventually, though, I got tired of clicking through all of the links, especially for people who don't update very often, and I just stopped reading blogs altogether. However, I didn't quite feel right about that, seeing as how I had a blog of my own. And then my wife introduced me to this wonderful little button.
Basically, what the button does is it scans through the blogs you've subscribed to and finds content you haven't read. You click the button and voila! You get taken to the most recently updated blog on your list.
To use the Google Reader Next button, you need to have a Google Reader account. You can set that up here. From there, you need to subscribe to the blogs you like to read. Google Reader keeps track of your blogs through an RSS Feed, which is a really fancy term that scared me spitless for a long time. RSS Feeds are represented by a magical little orange icon.
Once you've setup your Google Reader account, you need to subscribe to the blogs you read. You do this by visiting the blog, and finding that magical orange button. You'll click that button (give it a try for Life Before the Bucket!) and then, if you're logged in, will choose to "Add This to Google Reader" or something along those lines. Do this for all of the blogs you love, including Life Before the Bucket!
If you can't find the RSS button (or are scared to press it), there's another way to add blogs to your reader. You simply copy the main URL of the blog (i.e., www.lifebeforethebucket.com) and then go to Google Reader. From there, in the top-left corner, there's a "Subscribe" button. Press it, and there'll be a spot to paste the URL in. Easy-peasy!
After you've subscribed to your blogs (this might take a while, depending on how many you follow), go to this link. After you go there, click on "Goodies." Scroll down to the header that says "Put Reader in a bookmark." There you'll find instructions on how to add and use the Google Reader Next button!
That wasn't so painful, now was it?
So now that you know him, enjoy your new friend. You'll never want to leave home without him. And now you have no excuse to miss an update here at Life Before the Bucket!
See what I did there?
Just kidding. I really did it to help you, not me.
Okay, you got me. Maybe I did it a little for me. But only a little!
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Question: Do you have a friend you can't live without?
Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading
This was a repost from May 2011.
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