6.13.2012

Step Away from the Screens

Yesterday, I shared one of the biggest lessons Iearned during the month of our media fast. It wasn't sexy, cool, or hip. And it certainly wasn't easy, which is why I suppose it wasn't very popular.

That was just a sliver of what I want to share about my month without media. I've been asked by a few people if my time away was "productive" and what I did with all my extra time. If you missed yesterday's post, though, you're missing the heart of everything I'm about to say.

First of all, you should know this past month was different than I expected it would be.

I didn't read 1,000 books, though I certainly had the time to. Instead, I was stuck on a single book, and became pretty frustrated with reading after about a week. Sometimes, I'm too tired to read (I'll fall asleep after a page or two), so this was pretty demotivating for me as I was deciding what to do with my time. In retrospect, I should have been reading more than one book at a time, but it's not something I typically do, so it didn't happen.

I also didn't completely avoid the internet or TV. Our living situation didn't lend itself to a total, 100% fast from media like I desired. Instead of moving into our own house at the beginning of the fast, like we expected to, we are still not moved in at this point. Everything which could have gone wrong with our move has. Things are finally starting to move along (pun most definitely intended), but we currently are still waiting for our house to be livable.

So, since we weren't living in our own place, able to control whether or not media was playing through the TV, we still watched some TV and movies with friends and family. We never watched alone, because we knew we had control over at least that much. But after about a day or two of pretending I wasn't watching Dora with my 2 year old nephew, I gave in.

We decided we couldn't control our family and force them not to watch TV and suffer with us. This doesn't mean we would “suggest” what our family watched, either. We let them watch whatever they decided to watch, without our suggestions or influence.

So, no, I didn't watch any basketball during the fast - turns out I'm the only one who enjoys it in a house full of females (shocker!). Instead, if I watched TV, it was along the lines of Dora, Go Diego Go, Glee, or Private Practice (my family’s shows of choice, in case there was any doubt).

Also, we checked our e-mails frequently (which we had planned on doing), and I used the internet to play games while I took medicine. I had always played games while taking my medicine before this fast started, and I needed some kind of motivation to continue spending 30 minutes twice a day inhaling a medicine which tastes like soap. Trust me, you’d need the motivation, too.

I did start writing a book. But before you get your hopes up, allow me to shoot them down. Because I did also decide to stop working on it during this month as well. I put a lot of time and thought into this project, and decided this isn’t the right place or time. For starters, I expected to be spending most of this month alone in my new house, with very little to do and lots of space to think and write.

Instead, what I was given was a 4 bedroom house with 7 people living in it. This has its upsides and its downsides, and one of the big downsides is a lack of space. This means there was very little down time to think and write during our past month.

Now this sounds like an excuse, and really, it is. But I think God had us living with my family for this time not so I could push them away, but so I could more fully invest in them. I suspect this will be one of the last times we ever live with them (unless they move in with us one day), so I didn’t want to remember it as a time where I was constantly trying to get away and make my own space where there was none.

In addition to the issue of space, I have my own more personal reasons for quickly discontinuing the writing of a book. I’ll share those with you in a future post, because I think they merit their own time and thought. Suffice it to say I didn’t come to this decision easily. If you’d like to know more about what I was writing about, feel free to ask – I’d love to share, anyway!

By the end of this fast, I expected to be dying to regain internet access. Turns out reentering cyberspace after a month of absence is a little stressful – at least it was for me. Think of it like this: you’ve had your license to drive for a few years, and suddenly, it’s revoked for 5 years. Then, one day, you get it back and are asked to drive the Autobahn. You’d be a little stressed too. (Okay, so the analogy isn’t perfect. Work with me here, people.)

So forgive me if I haven’t been as interactive as I usually am. I wiped my Google Reader clean of quite a few blogs – this doesn’t say so much about those blogs as it does about me. I was simply overwhelmed by how much I “needed” to read and I realized I didn’t enjoy it much anymore.

I also haven’t turned Twitter back on my phone, so I haven’t been replying or retweeting many people. I’m sure I will soon, but I’ll most likely cut down the number of people I receive tweets to my phone from as well. Prior to our month of fasting from media, I discovered my little “dumb” phone (aka, non-smartphone) gets upwards of 10,000 texts per month! This. Is. A. Problem. So forgive me if I don’t reply or retweet you as often as I usually do. I promise I’m still here and I’m still reading your awesomeness. It's just that I can only handle so much awesome at once.

Consider escaping from the internet
for even an hour today!
Moving forward, I want to be intentional about spending less time with my laptop and TV, and more time with the people sitting around me. I can’t emphasize this enough. We’re addicted to our screens and ignoring what really matters, people. And we wonder why this world is so messed up.

Let go of your pride, stop saying, “Not me!” and ‘fess up. And then do something about it. It doesn’t mean that you have to fast from seven types of media for a month. But maybe that is what you need.

Whatever you do, though, don’t walk away from this post without doing something. Even simply acknowledging your addiction to the internet or television to yourself is better than nothing.

From here, move forward, deciding to intentionally spend less time with yourself and your computer or TV, and more time with people. You’ll be less lonely, you’ll probably sleep better at night (studies have shown that over-exposure to screens that lead to varying degrees of insomnia), and the quality of your relationships will increase dramatically.

Meanwhile, your Klout score or your Alexa ranking might suffer, but really, who cares? Does it really matter how many pageviews your blog had last month? Will it really matter if people on the internet forget you exist for a week or two? Are you really so important that we shouldn’t forget about you from time to time? In the grand scheme of things, will it matter whether you had 1-2% less followers?

Because that’s the only difference I’ve seen in my blog after I’ve been gone for a month. And frankly, I don’t think God is going to judge me based on my sphere of influence. I don’t think I’ll be chided for having 1-2% less influence than I could’ve had. If my focus is on the people who are around me on a daily basis, I can’t go wrong.

Step away from the screens, people. It's time to wane ourselves off of cyberspace and reality shows. It's time to realize there's a real world around us with real people who have real problems. And as it turns out, they could really use our help. If only we weren't glued to our precious screens, we could look up and see what's really going on around us and start truly living real life.

... ... ...

Questions: Have you ever considered whether you're addicted to screens? What good can come from the internet or television? What bad can come from the internet or television? How have you worked to wane yourself off of depending on screens? What other thoughts do you have on this topic?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

image credit - michaelaw - sxc.hu

6.12.2012

Living to the Fullest: A Word of Advice

Over the last month, a lot happened.

A lot also didn't happen.

I spill the details on all of that very soon. For today, though, I want to encourage you with the encouragement given to me through my technology fast. 

Normally, I would be featuring a "Living to the Fullest" guest post today. Seeing as how I've been AWOL from the internet for what seems like an eternity, though, this isn't going to happen today. Instead, I want to leave you with some advice to make today better than it could be:

Spend more time today face-to-face with people than with a screen. 

It's that simple.

Do that much, and I promise today will be fuller than it ever could have been while you were having a staring contest with your computer or TV (besides - who ever really wins those contests?). 

If you're interested in contributing to our "Living to the Fullest" guest post series, I would love to hear from you. These posts are often the most popular posts on Life Before the Bucket each week. Just shoot me an e-mail or leave a comment on today's post and I'll get back to you ASAP. 


image credit - tomdavies - sxc.hu

6.11.2012

And the Winners Are...!

Hey, everyone! I'm baaaaaaack!

And by everyone, I mean those of you who haven't jumped ship in the last month - thanks for sticking around!

I'm not going to bother you with a blog post today, because, well, let's be honest - there are bigger fish to fry.

In other words... It's time to announce the winners of the Longest Contest Ever!

I allowed Rafflecopter to choose the winners. No favorites here, though I'd like to think you're all my favorites!

Here they are!

The Prizes and Their Winners:

1  - $25 Amazon Gift Card - Zee Kleshchar

1 - Free-For-All Guest Post (by you!) on Life Before the Bucket (Anything goes!) - Thomas Mason

1 - Free Guest Post from Me About Anything You Please - Bekah Freed

1 - Month of Free Advertising - Aly Lewis


If you're one of these lucky individuals, shoot me an e-mail at awaller1990@gmail.com to claim your prize! If you don't claim it within 30 days, it goes wherever it is unclaimed prizes go (which would just be sad). Can't wait to hear from you!


For everyone else: how was the last month for you? Anything groundbreaking happen while I was gone? I'd love to hear from you!

5.11.2012

An Announcement and a Giveaway!

Beginning today, May 11th, both my wife and I will be unplugging from the world for a month.

This is a part of our challenge with 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess

I know, I know - how ever will we survive?

We're still checking e-mail, so if you need to get a hold of me, that's one way. Or there's thing thing called a phone, and I think they still actually make phone calls. So if you know us personally, you can get a hold of us the old-fashioned way.

Meanwhile, this blog will be silent for a month. Trust me, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

But, as incentive to stick around, I'll be holding the Longest Giveaway Ever.

image credit: Avolore - sxc.hu
It's pretty simple. I'll be using Rafflecopter for this one, so check out the widget below this post to enter! Here are the prizes:

1  - $25 Amazon Gift Card

1 - Free-For-All Guest Post (by you!) on Life Before the Bucket (Anything goes!)

1 - Free Guest Post from Me About Anything You Please

1 - Month of Free Advertising

The contest ends at 12:01 AM on June 11th. I will be announcing the winners that morning, Monday, June 11th (one month from now!).

However, there's a catch: I won't go looking for you - you'll have to get in contact with me to claim your prize! This is a way to ensure that some people don't just go looking for a free prize without any interaction or contribution. Plus, it's a nice way to make sure at least 4 people don't abandon ship in the next month!

So there you have it! Get to entering in this contest! And remember, you can tweet about it everyday for the next month to REALLY help your chances!

And, by the way, thanks SO much to those of you who would be willing to stick around anyway. You guys mean the world to me. Can't wait to be back!

P.S. - Rumor has it that I might start writing a book during this month! You'll have to come back in a month to see if the rumor is true or not!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

5.09.2012

Our Secret to Life and Marriage

So you want to know the secret to living a great life? Or even to having a great marriage?

First, let's make sure you're willing to take our advice.

After all, we've only been alive for 22 years. Like most people, we weren't really cognizant of the first 4-5 years, though, so we've really only been alive 17. And then, if you average in about 8 hours of sleep a night, we've only been awake for about 11 years.

So basically, you're listening to the advice of an 11 year old.

Still with me? Then I suppose you're truly interested. Keep reading!

Now if you're looking for advice for a happy, healthy marriage, take this into consideration: I've known my wife for about 7 years now. So that's about half of our cognizant lifetime (mentioned above). We've been dating/engaged/marriage for almost 6 of those years. We spent the other year making each other's lives miserable.

Beyond that, we've only been married for about 3 years. And again, we're only 22.

So you're looking for advice from someone who's basically an infant in marriage.

Now that I've discredited myself in every way, are you still with me? Well, then, I suppose you're still genuinely interested in what I have to say.

Our secret isn't a trick or gimmick. It's nothing new or fancy. It's not even particularly difficult. However, it is an everyday event. It does take time, investment, and genuine care. It requires an interest in your partner that is beyond almost any other interest you have. It actually requires you to love them in action, and not just in word. 

If you're looking for a quick-fix to your problems, this isn't it. Problems require time and genuine caring and love.

If you're looking for a way to skirt through your life and marriage without any problems, this definitely isn't it. And if that is the case, you have an entirely different set of problems that need addressing by someone more qualified than myself.

If you're looking for a guaranteed way to avoid conflict, this most certainly isn't it. If you want a conflict-free life or marriage, you should be a dog. Dogs don't seem to have much conflict in their lives. Us humans live with other humans and that, by its very nature, causes conflict.

So what is it, you ask? What's our secret to a happy life and a healthy marriage?

Our secret is this:

We keep learning new things every day

What's that? You're disappointed? No trumpets sounding from heaven? 

Well, I hate to break it to you, but life isn't about quick-fixes or easy solutions. There's nothing neat and clean about our "secret." It's not like you can learn one new fact a day and be guaranteed a happy life.

And as for marriage, well, have you ever really thought of this in that regard? I'm sure we've all heard at some point or another to learn something new every day. But how does this apply to marriage?

You see, I've heard it time and time again: people divorcing because the other spouse "changed." They claim that their wife/husband isn't the person they originally married.

Truth be told, none of us are who we were even yesterday. Even physically - our bodies are completely renewed every seven years. So we shouldn't be surprised that our spouses have changed. That's the nature of being a living, breathing human being. That change is inevitable. How we handle it determines how successful our lives and our marriages are.

In regards to life, there are a million different ways you can keep learning. The Internet is an amazing place filled with some amazing (and not-so amazing) knowledge and wisdom. I stumbled on a site recently that  can help point you in the right direction. But on the off chance that you're lazy and don't look there, you can simply check out TED Talks. There, you'll find hours and hours and hours of knowledge - all for free!

In regards to marriage, there are also several methods to make sure you keep learning about your spouse. I'll suggest one here that we've recently started doing.

In order to keep learning about your spouse as they change, grow, shift, and mold into an entirely different person, you have to keep learning about them. And in order to learn about them, you need to ask questions and actually have conversations. We've found a unique way to do this:

Step 1 - Find a notebook. Any old notebook will do, as long as it's empty.

Step 2 - Write a question or two for your spouse. Nothing is out of bounds - you're married, for crying out loud!

Step 3 - Answer those questions about yourself. Be honest, open, and thoughtful. Otherwise, you're defeating the purpose of this entire exercise.

Step 4 (this is my favorite) - Hide that sucker. Of course, you should hide it somewhere they can find it, but be creative. I recently hid our notebook in the kitchen cabinet, because my wife loves cooking. But don't cheat and tell them where it is - that's half the fun of this!

Again, this is one of several ideas to keep learning about your partner. But if you intentionally do this, you'll find that you're changing along with your spouse, and you won't be so confused when, 10 years down the road, you're both different people. It's bound to happen. It's up to you whether or not it's going to be a surprise.

Now, like I said earlier, this isn't a quick fix for life or for your marriage. I can't guarantee that this will drastically alter either. However, I think a lot can be said for small changes like this, especially in the fast-paced world we live in today.

If you end up doing this notebook exercise, I'd like to hear from you. How did it go? Where did you hide your notebook? What kind of questions did you ask?

And for the rest of you who aren't married: keep learning about the world you live in. We live in an incredible time where knowledge is readily available and easily accessible. We'd be crazy not to take advantage of it.

We might just find, as we learn, that we'll grow into the people we truly want to become, and the people we become are people the world (and our spouse) truly needs.

... ... ...

Questions: What's the best advice you've ever been given about life or marriage? How do you keep learning? What are some other ways to continue learning about your spouse?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

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