An Announcement and a Giveaway!

Beginning today, May 11th, both my wife and I will be unplugging from the world for a month.

This is a part of our challenge with 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. 

I know, I know - how ever will we survive?

We're still checking e-mail, so if you need to get a hold of me, that's one way. Or there's thing thing called a phone, and I think they still actually make phone calls. So if you know us personally, you can get a hold of us the old-fashioned way.

Meanwhile, this blog will be silent for a month. Trust me, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

But, as incentive to stick around, I'll be holding the Longest Giveaway Ever.

image credit: Avolore - sxc.hu

It's pretty simple. I'll be using Rafflecopter for this one, so check out the widget below this post to enter! Here are the prizes:

1  - $25 Amazon Gift Card

1 - Free-For-All Guest Post (by you!) on Life Before the Bucket (Anything goes!)

1 - Free Guest Post from Me About Anything You Please

1 - Month of Free Advertising

The contest ends at 12:01 AM on June 11th. I will be announcing the winners that morning, Monday, June 11th (one month from now!).

However, there's a catch: I won't go looking for you - you'll have to get in contact with me to claim your prize! This is a way to ensure that some people don't just go looking for a free prize without any interaction or contribution. Plus, it's a nice way to make sure at least 4 people don't abandon ship in the next month!

So there you have it! Get to entering in this contest! And remember, you can tweet about it everyday for the next month to REALLY help your chances!

And, by the way, thanks SO much to those of you who would be willing to stick around anyway. You guys mean the world to me. Can't wait to be back!

P.S. - Rumor has it that I might start writing a book during this month! You'll have to come back in a month to see if the rumor is true or not!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Our Secret to Life and Marriage

So you want to know the secret to living a great life? Or even to having a great marriage?

First, let's make sure you're willing to take our advice.

After all, we've only been alive for 22 years. Like most people, we weren't really cognizant of the first 4-5 years, though, so we've really only been alive 17. And then, if you average in about 8 hours of sleep a night, we've only been awake for about 11 years.

So basically, you're listening to the advice of an 11 year old.

Still with me? Then I suppose you're truly interested. Keep reading!

Now if you're looking for advice for a happy, healthy marriage, take this into consideration: I've known my wife for about 7 years now. So that's about half of our cognizant lifetime (mentioned above). We've been dating/engaged/marriage for almost 6 of those years. We spent the other year making each other's lives miserable.

Beyond that, we've only been married for about 3 years. And again, we're only 22.

So you're looking for advice from someone who's basically an infant in marriage.

Now that I've discredited myself in every way, are you still with me? Well, then, I suppose you're still genuinely interested in what I have to say.

Our secret isn't a trick or gimmick. It's nothing new or fancy. It's not even particularly difficult. However, it is an everyday event. It does take time, investment, and genuine care. It requires an interest in your partner that is beyond almost any other interest you have. It actually requires you to love them in action, and not just in word. 

If you're looking for a quick-fix to your problems, this isn't it. Problems require time and genuine caring and love.

If you're looking for a way to skirt through your life and marriage without any problems, this definitely isn't it. And if that is the case, you have an entirely different set of problems that need addressing by someone more qualified than myself.

If you're looking for a guaranteed way to avoid conflict, this most certainly isn't it. If you want a conflict-free life or marriage, you should be a dog. Dogs don't seem to have much conflict in their lives. Us humans live with other humans and that, by its very nature, causes conflict.

So what is it, you ask? What's our secret to a happy life and a healthy marriage?

Our secret is this:

We keep learning new things every day. 

What's that? You're disappointed? No trumpets sounding from heaven? 

Well, I hate to break it to you, but life isn't about quick-fixes or easy solutions. There's nothing neat and clean about our "secret." It's not like you can learn one new fact a day and be guaranteed a happy life.

And as for marriage, well, have you ever really thought of this in that regard? I'm sure we've all heard at some point or another to learn something new every day. But how does this apply to marriage?

You see, I've heard it time and time again: people divorcing because the other spouse "changed." They claim that their wife/husband isn't the person they originally married.

Truth be told, none of us are who we were even yesterday. Even physically - our bodies are completely renewed every seven years. So we shouldn't be surprised that our spouses have changed. That's the nature of being a living, breathing human being. That change is inevitable. How we handle it determines how successful our lives and our marriages are.

In regards to life, there are a million different ways you can keep learning. The Internet is an amazing place filled with some amazing (and not-so amazing) knowledge and wisdom. I stumbled on a site recently that  can help point you in the right direction. But on the off chance that you're lazy and don't look there, you can simply check out TED Talks. There, you'll find hours and hours and hours of knowledge - all for free!

In regards to marriage, there are also several methods to make sure you keep learning about your spouse. I'll suggest one here that we've recently started doing.

In order to keep learning about your spouse as they change, grow, shift, and mold into an entirely different person, you have to keep learning about them. And in order to learn about them, you need to ask questions and actually have conversations. We've found a unique way to do this:

Step 1 - Find a notebook. Any old notebook will do, as long as it's empty.

Step 2 - Write a question or two for your spouse. Nothing is out of bounds - you're married, for crying out loud!

Step 3 - Answer those questions about yourself. Be honest, open, and thoughtful. Otherwise, you're defeating the purpose of this entire exercise.

Step 4 (this is my favorite) - Hide that sucker. Of course, you should hide it somewhere they can find it, but be creative. I recently hid our notebook in the kitchen cabinet, because my wife loves cooking. But don't cheat and tell them where it is - that's half the fun of this!

Again, this is one of several ideas to keep learning about your partner. But if you intentionally do this, you'll find that you're changing along with your spouse, and you won't be so confused when, 10 years down the road, you're both different people. It's bound to happen. It's up to you whether or not it's going to be a surprise.

Now, like I said earlier, this isn't a quick fix for life or for your marriage. I can't guarantee that this will drastically alter either. However, I think a lot can be said for small changes like this, especially in the fast-paced world we live in today.

If you end up doing this notebook exercise, I'd like to hear from you. How did it go? Where did you hide your notebook? What kind of questions did you ask?

And for the rest of you who aren't married: keep learning about the world you live in. We live in an incredible time where knowledge is readily available and easily accessible. We'd be crazy not to take advantage of it.

We might just find, as we learn, that we'll grow into the people we truly want to become, and the people we become are people the world (and our spouse) truly needs.

... ... ...

Questions: What's the best advice you've ever been given about life or marriage? How do you keep learning? What are some other ways to continue learning about your spouse?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Maybe Tomorrow

Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from a great blogger and mother named Melanie Dawson. Melanie is 32 years old. She plays several roles: during the day she is a special education teacher, and by night she is Super Mom! She has two Masters Degrees in education, and she absolutely loves what she does. Her role as Super Mom gets a little tricky sometimes. She has a 12 year old son, Sebastian, her daughter Tyler is 10, and little Mason is 5. They keep her going all day long, and she loves it!

You can follow Melanie on her blog, Penguins on My Shirt. 

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?) 

... ... ...

Typical - that was my life.

I was married to my high school sweetheart, Mike, and together we were raising our three beautiful children. We both worked full time jobs, and took turns transporting the kids to their endless sporting activities. An hour each way for gymnastics twice a week, soccer, piano lessons, more gymnastics - every moment was scheduled. It felt like we were never home.

Family meals were often found at the bottom of a fast food bag, and homework was done in the car. We rarely took time for ourselves. Sure we took family vacations, and we worked hard to create memories with the kids, but we were young. We often joked that our time would come when the kids left the nest, then we would focus on us. Could we have been more wrong?

April 14, 2011 my life changed, and so did my priorities. I came home from work to find that Mike had passed away from a heart attack. He was 34. My husband, companion and best friend was suddenly gone. We had been together since I was 17, and it would have been our 14th wedding anniversary that year. How could it be possible that I was a widow at the age of 31? Gone were the tomorrows we had planned for.

Living life to the fullest no longer means that I try to cram my day full of more than it can hold. Instead, I give my kids more magic kisses than their little faces can hold.

It no longer means putting off until tomorrow the memories I want to create today. 

It no longer means putting myself after everyone else in my life. 

I now understand that I cannot be the mother I want to be if I don’t take time for me. There are fewer moments of “Wait a minute,” or “I can’t right now.” I try to stop what I’m doing to acknowledge every piece of artwork and every out of tune song. We take things slow, day by day, and sometimes moment by moment.

We still get caught up in the little things that don’t really matter when compared to the grand scheme of things; however, those moments are becoming fewer and fewer. My life is at its fullest when my kids wrap their arms around me and say…

“Mom, I love you. Real or not real?”

“Mom, I love you to infinity and beyond.”

“Mom, here are your magic kisses! They won’t ever come off!”

What could be better than that?

... ... ...

Questions: What events in your life have drastically altered your priorities? What are you putting off until "tomorrow" that should be done today?

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!

What I've Learned in College (So Far)

A special thanks to my sister-in-law for
being our emergency photographer!

I don't know if you heard, but...

Our school let us graduate!

We're not sure if they'll regret this decision or not...

In light of this and the fact that we just moved back to our hometown but can't live in our home quite yet, posts this week might be a bit haphazard. You've been warned!

Before anything, though, I do need to say this: thanks SO much to everyone who voted for me in the blog contest last week! I took first place, which means that I plan on rewarding you guys soon!

Also, a HUGE thanks goes out to all of our family who came to our graduation and then to our friends who helped us move. We'd be helpless without you guys.

But now, on to the topic at hand. You see, when people graduate, it's kind of a big deal - especially when you pay thousands and thousands (and thousands) of dollars to do it. People want to know if the whole shebang is worthwhile.

This post is my very premature answer to that inquiry (especially since I have two more years of school left starting in the fall!).

What I've Learned in College (So Far):

It's expensive. Too expensive. You'll just have to get over that now.

If you don't know what you want to do with your college education, do it somewhere cheaper. The magic career fairy doesn't grant answers more quickly to those who pay more.

More than likely, you'll remember the good times you had with your friends before you remember your schooling. So either become a hermit, or enjoy that time while you can. 

Student loans are a pain in the foot. Whatever you do, don't take them out to live on unless you're in dire circumstances (and no, needing a 52" HDTV is not considered a "dire" circumstance in any world). 

Become who you want to be now, not later. I didn't need to graduate college to start writing, or even to start serving the people I want to serve the rest of my life. 

Someone at our school is always fond of tweeting these words around the time of finals each semester: you are NOT ever your grades. Even if you get good ones.  

There will always be someone who seems smarter, tougher, faster, prettier, friendlier, and just about every other adjective you can think of. But nobody is better equipped to be you than you. 

Build relationships (dare I say... friendships?) outside of the classroom with your teachers. It's in real life, not a classroom setting, that you'll learn the most from them. 

Some words from Shane Claiborne seem fitting here: "Find where your passion meets the world's needs." This place needs something from you, and college is a great time to figure out what that is. Work to truly be who you are, and not who you're "supposed" to become, and you'll quickly discover where that intersection of your passion and the world's need resides.

I promised myself I'd stop at ten points, so there you have it. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy our last-ever summer break. 

... ... ...

Questions: What were some of the biggest lessons you learned while in school? If you could do anything differently about your time in high school or college, what would it be?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Win of the Week

This is undoubtedly one of the most exciting Fridays of my life.

Exciting for a number of reasons, to be sure.

First of all, our families are coming into town today. It's always a blast to have them over and I'm looking forward to seeing all of them!

Secondly, the weather's pretty nice right now, so I'm enjoying it while I can. Before I know it, I'll be roasting in the sun.

And most importantly... it's our last day of undergraduate classes!

In other words, there's a lot of cause for celebration on this side of the world. And that's perfect, because today we're celebrating our Win of the Week!

Keeping with the last couple of weeks, we'll share both a "real life" Win of the Week and a digital/blogging Win of the Week. This is your chance to shamelessly share something you've written or something you loved reading/watching/listening to!

So, obviously, I have to say that my real life Win of the Week is surviving my undergraduate program. We graduate tomorrow, and it couldn't come soon enough for me. I can't wait to move, to start a new life, and to start in my Master's program!

Meanwhile, in the digital world, I have a lot to celebrate.

First of all, I love that new people are discovering Life Before the Bucket and interacting with the micro-community we have here. And if you're new here and want to follow along, check out the Updates page to find a way to follow along!

My ultimate blogging Win of the Week, though, has to be being accepted as a finalist in Foundation Care Pharmacy's blogging contest! I've been blown away by how many of you have voted for my entry, and I can't thank you enough for your generosity in that. I'll try to find a way to reward you if I come in 1st Place!
So if you haven't already voted, check out the contest and vote for Entry #1!

(Edit: The contest is now closed. Thanks to all of those who voted for my entry!)

So those, my friends, are my Wins of the Week.

What about you? What was your real-life Win of the Week? 

What was your digital/blogging Win of the Week? 

Feel free to shamelessly share anything you've written/read/watched/listened to this week!