It's Not Easy

Note from Adrian: This is our next installment in the "Living to the Fullest" guest post series. Today's post is from a writer who wishes to remain anonymous. Please be sure to be encouraging as you thank and leave feedback for this person for their contribution.

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?)
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This blog, I am well aware, is a “Christian” blog. The author of it is an active member of the Christian community. The readers, I’m sure, are the majority Christian. This makes me a minority here. I am a white, middle class female, so being a minority is something that is fairly new to me. I’m still figuring out the ropes of how to live when most of the people around me are on the other side of a very serious life decision. One thing I’ve learned in my five years of conscious atheism is that it’s not easy.

For most of the time I’ve been open to myself about my religious beliefs, I’ve lied to others about them. I’m still not completely open with everyone about my lack of religion, hence the anonymity of this guest post.
It’s a scary thing to show someone a very important part of yourself, knowing that they will most likely judge you and possibly shun you. I’ve had people tell me that they thought less of me for being an atheist. I’ve had people tell me that I’m not sure of what I believe. They say, “You’re probably agnostic,” or “You just haven’t figured it out yet.” All of these responses, they’re things that hurt me. Each time someone tells me that I’m wrong, or I don’t know what I’m talking about, or I’ll find “The Truth” and they’re praying for my soul, I just want to yell at them to stop, and think about what they’re saying.

If you’ve never been told you’re wasting your life because what you feel is illogical, then you couldn’t have any idea of what it feels like. It tears at my heart and it brings me down. It makes me think I’m a terrible person and I’ll never be accepted, no matter where I am.

So how in the world can I live my life to the fullest if I’m being told everywhere I go that I’m living my life wrong? Well, let me tell you, it’s hard. It takes strength and courage and confidence, all of which I tend to lack. But I try. I try hard to live my life with happiness and love. I go out and have fun. I try to live in the moment, but I still think about my future.

I don’t hold grudges against all of those people who judge me and try to change who I am. I try my best to never regret the things I do, because I believe that a life full of regret really isn’t a life at all.

I believe that revenge should never be motivation for anything a person does. I believe in peace and joy and truth. These things are, to me, what make a fulfilling life. But, because my idea of truth is something that is unconventional and misunderstood, others believe I am a bad person.

Now tell me, does my lack of belief in a God make my life one that will never be full? I believe not, but you might believe differently. And I believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with whatever you choose to believe, because in the end, acceptance of those who are different is how to really live life to the fullest.

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Questions: How do your religious beliefs influence the way you live to the fullest? What beliefs do you struggle to be tolerant of? 

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!