Something is Missing

Note from Adrian: I'm still on crazy-first-week-of-school alert. As a result, I'm featuring some awesome guest posts this week!

This is a guest post by Jim Woods. He is a writer, creative coach and dreamer in Nashville, TN. His passion lies in helping others fulfill their dreams. You can read more of his posts at his personal blog  or find him on Twitter -  @unknownjim.

Be sure to thank Jim for his time, thought, and contribution!

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If you were asked to think of total paradise, what comes to mind?

Maybe you picture yourself on a tropical island with your feet in the sand. You might even picture a log cabin and yourself with a book nestled by the fire. Or it could involve a certain mouse, his friends, and a castle.

While I wouldn’t mind visiting any of those amazing destinations, the truth is I have the amazing ability to focus on discontentment—even in paradise. I am quicker to complain than I am to give a compliment. It’s easier to whine, moan and groan about my circumstances than to actually do the work. I sometimes even like to point fingers toward others instead of being a catalyst to bring about change myself.

Please learn from my mistakes.

Whining and complaining only lead to a shift of the blame. These are only techniques for avoiding responsibility. You can rationalize ANYTHING if you shift enough of the circumstances away from yourself. But it is a lie. Take responsibility for your own actions.

The blame game is pointless and a waste of time. Nothing good comes from the blame game—when you give excuses and blame others for your problems and/or issues. It quickly becomes a vicious cycle; I blame my problems on you and you blame your problems on me.

But the REAL problem is discontentment. It is often what drives my actions. The blame game is just a symptom of the problem.

I have an insatiable thirst for both pleasure and something different. Something newer, bigger and better. I’ve tried to fill it with possessions, drugs, sex, alcohol, and social media.

But none of those bring long-term satisfaction or contentment. Sure, they are a great quick fix. And they might even work for a while, but at the end of the day, If I rely on those for my happiness, I’m not remotely fulfilled.

Discontentment is used to sell products and services you don’t really need. You don’t need to buy anything for happiness. You already know this. But yet you do it anyways.

So, what’s the answer? Is there a way to fix this?

Sadly, there is not one simple fix for these issues, but there are several steps you can take.

1. Fill yourself with positive influences. Talk with uplifting friends. Read an interesting book. Spend some time in prayer. Watch a positive movie. Listen to some music. You have many options available to lift your spirits.

2. Avoid negative influences.I try to avoid politics and watching the news. If you have a friend who always complains, ask them to be more positive as it brings you down too. If they still persist, nicely but firmly say that you can not be around them if they are negative. I know this is easier said than done, but keep in mind you are want to live life to the fullest, not just aiming for the status quo.

3. Focus on the positives, not the negatives. This attitude adjustment is key to this. It doesn’t happen overnight. It is a gradual process. If your car has a flat tire, don’t freak out. Know that you will get it fixed and you will still have a great day.

4. Pay Attention to your attitude.If you are having a lot of negative thoughts, know that your attitude needs to be readjusted. Take a break. Go for a walk, giving your attitude a chance to realign. It’s amazing what a difference a 15 minute break can make.

5. Find someone you can vent to. This might sound like it contradicts #2, but it really doesn’t. EVERYONE needs someone they can just vent to, whether it be a good friend or a spouse. I think the key is to tell the other person that you have to vent. You then get 5 minutes to vent. No more, no less. Once you unload, rant, and rave, you have to move forward. I believe this is a healthy way to manage your emotions and get it out of your system instead of just letting anger, stress and frustration build up. You can even call it “rant time” if you’d like. Remember, this time is no longer than 5 minutes.

I truly hope you can learn from some of my mistakes. There is no one quick fix. Discontentment is a real problem. But as with all problems, it is important to unite together to find a solution. You can move toward the solution today by being a positive influence, not a negative one.

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Question: What do you do to avoid being discontent?

On Being More Productive

Note from Adrian: I started my Master's program this week! As a result, my schedule is a little (read: VERY) hectic, so I've lined up a few awesome guest posts this week. Things should return back to normal next week

The first of these guest posts comes from Tessa Hardiman. Tessa Hardiman is a teacher by day and recreational word slinger by night. She blogs regularly at The Recreational Word Slinger. She can be found on Facebook and Twitter, from @tessalou42. 

Be sure to thank her for her awesome contribution!

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This week is a huge week for me. Even bigger than the week I found out I was going to be paired up with Kerri Walsh Jennings for the Rio Olympics.

(Okay, just kidding on that last part.)

This week’s still bigger.

I start my new teaching job today! I’ve been looking for a job for a while, so I absolutely can’t wait to get started. As excited and ecstatic as I am about this new adventure, I know there are going to be some bumps in the road over the next few days/weeks while I get back into the swing of things. After the summer off, it can be hard to get back into a work routine. It usually takes a good two or three snooze button hits and a few cats pouncing on me, claws extended, before I can even think about getting up when that first early alarm goes off.

To try and combat any unknowns that might pop up out of the blue, I’m going to try and set up several routines throughout my day. Having a good workflow will help me (and you!) to be a little bit more organized and prevent any last minute bumps in the road. Take, for example, the time when my husband beat furiously on the back door and on the bedroom windows (hoping to wake me from a sound slumber) out in the freezing cold because he locked himself out.

Here’s how the flow works:

1. The Morning Block- I am not a morning person. I loathe my alarm (see above anecdote). But, I have this urge to write and create, and it is much stronger than my feelings for the time of day. I will be adding something to my morning routine this school year, which means I will be subtracting the amount of sleep I get. See how I have this whole "math" thing down? Too bad I’ll be teaching science.

I didn’t truly discover my love of writing until toward the end of last school year, so I was not really disciplined about getting up in the morning to do it. I just incorporated it into my day where I could. But, this time around, I’ve got to be disciplined about getting up. I’m going to start at 30 minutes earlier, but I may have to increase it to an hour if I’m getting a lot of writing done. Or, if I have more guest posts to write for crazy bearded guys. It’s still a toss up at this point.

2. The Work Block- As it should be, I won’t be able to check my personal e-mail, Facebook, blog, or the Twitta while I’m working. I will need to be organized and have blog posts and Tweets scheduled to post throughout the day. When I’m at work, I need to be focused on teaching and keeping those young whippersnappers in line. This is the smallest block for flow time because most of the planning takes place at the job site.

3. The Night Block- This is when most of us have the biggest chunk of time to get things done. It’s also, sadly, the time when I watch the most TV. Yikes. This habit will get reeled in big time this fall. I need to suck it up and skip the intriguing fall shows that I want to check out (new Sherlock Holmes, anyone?). Thanks to technology, most of these are available to watch online, or I can wait until the end of the season and get them through Netflix.

The night block is when you can get most of the next day’s plans ready to go. Lunch packed. Clothes laid out for the next day. Every little thing ready to go. I also put everything in the same place every night, so I can grab it on my way out of the door in the morning.

It’s quite comical when I realize that I’ve misplaced one of those items. I go through a checklist and look like an idiot while I’m standing in the carport flailing my hands and arms about. You haven’t done anything like that, right?

Once you have your flow set up, it becomes a lot easier to get things done. It can make your days less stressful and help you be more productive. If you find that one day you aren’t as efficient, don’t beat yourself up. You get another chance the next day. Take advantage of it!

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Questions: How does having a workflow help you? What other methods/tools do you use to be productive throughout the day?

Hope Never Ends

Today marks the end of something life-changing.

But really, truly, it's not the end. And no, I'm not talking about the Olympics (though I wish someone had told me to record the Closing Ceremony!).

Odds are, you haven't heard about this event on the news. It's been circulating around the blogosphere like wildfire, though, and I'd like to be one of the last participants to carry this inspirational torch of hope.

(Be sure to check out where the Relay of Hope began and will end - with Melanie Crutchfield - and where I heard about it from - huge kudos to Aly Lewis.)

In all these true* stories of hope, though, there is a common thread:

Hope, however minute, however seemingly insignificant, endures.

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I'd like to tell you about a friend named Ted. Ted is a fantastic guy. He loves large, but he's been let down hard. Ted was once a pastor, but after years in ministry, he had the rug pulled out from under him, along with everything he'd ever known. He moved, bitter and resentful, and still searches for a glimmer - a spark of hope that something might actually go right in this world for once.

Some people see Ted as heretical or unbelieving. Really, truly, though, Ted seems lost more than anything. He searches and he searches, but the wounds of his past failures keep reopening, and after so long, the pain seems too much to bear.

Somehow, someway, though, Ted keeps smiling. At the very least, he's still fighting, because he knows there's something more to this life than the pain and rejection he's experienced thus far.

Ted needs this hope.

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I'd also like to tell you about a friend named Mark. Really, I'm not sure what to make of Mark. We aren't really friends in the traditional sense, but I'd consider him someone I care about. I haven't known him long, but in the time that I've known him, the voices talking about him have had a tendency to drown out the very voice that is his.

Rumors about about Mark persist: "He's a drug dealer," or "He has mental issues," or even "He's a thief." It's difficult to drown out these remarks, but hope covers them all.

Instead of hearing these words when I think about Mark, I instead think of his kindness. I think of his good-natured smile and his laugh. I think of the fact that he tends to a beautiful garden, creating and caring for the purest form of hope: life itself.

The cards seem stacked against Mark, but I know there's something greater within him and even greater seeking him.

Mark needs this hope.

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I'd also like to tell you about a couple we know well named Vincent and Christine. These two are happily married, journeying through life hand in hand. They each have different visions of the future, but somehow, they mesh.

Vincent enjoys being friendly with strangers and Christine enjoys entertaining and catching up with old friends. They each love serving those "beneath" society, those most often forgotten. They may not have the nicest house, but their hearts are adorned with the finest decor of love. They're on a mission to change the world, one person at a time.

Vincent and Christine struggle with various ailments, both physical, mental, and spiritual. If it's not one thing, it's another. But you would never know it by their smiles.

Vincent and Christine need this hope.

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What could possibly be worth celebrating and commemorating by so many?

You've seen this hope. Maybe in yourself. Maybe in a friend. Maybe in a complete stranger. Hope lingers and never lets go. It flickers, but never extinguishes. It shines and never shorts out.

Yet hope is not some vague notion of some better reality far off in the distant future. Hope is here. Hope is now. Hope is in stories like these - stories that reflect goodness, love, and truth. Hope ignores the haters while changing their hearts.

Then again, maybe hope is something far off. But it could never arrive at its destination without first changing today.

Think of those you love the least. Think of those who hurt you. Think of those who degrade you. Those who have ripped your heart from your chest, stomped on it, spit on it, and pretended like nothing ever happened.

These people, each and every one of them, desire hope. Want hope. Seek hope. Need hope. 

Despite our best chances to quench its fire, hope carries on.

Today may mark what we're calling the "Closing Ceremonies" of the Relay of Hope, but this is no ending. Instead, it's another step toward something greater, toward hope realized.

Will you pass Hope's torch today? Or will you do your best to smother out its flames? Will you look to the best in your neighbor and love them for that, or will you let doubt win out? Will you get to know someone better today, or will you brush them off as a nuisance?

Friends, we could all be Ted or Mark or Vincent and Christine. We could all be those people, hoping - so dearly hoping - and yet hushed by the world. We could be seeking a better tomorrow, while so many point to a poorer yesterday. We all exude imperfection, but we're all craving hope.

Remember these people today. For you, they may have different names, different faces, and different situations. They may have deeper hurts, bigger flaws, and more regrets, but the fundamental truth about them, about us all, remains the same: they seek hope, and hope seeks them.

The only question left, then, is if we're willing to get out of the way.

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* All names contained in these stories have been changed to protect people I love. The content, however, is completely true. 

How has hope inspired you lately?

Win of the Week

Whew... We made it. 

Let's take a collective sigh of relief, my friends... because it's Friday!

No matter how high your highs or how low your lows, you survived. You've cleared the hurdles and you've completed the course. Congratulations!

Around here, we like to throw a party, blog style. Because it's Friday and because we're always looking to encourage one another, it's time to share our Win of the Week!

Now, as before, we are each going to share two Wins of the Week so that we can get double the pats on the back. Share one "real life" Win of the Week and one "virtual life" win of the week.

For example, if I had won a million dollars this week, that might be my "real life" win of the week. Meanwhile, my "virtual" Win of the Week would be something like hitting 10,000 pageviews overall. Of course, if you don't have a blog or a virtual Win, you can most certainly still participate! But if you do, this is your time to shamelessly share yourself. Plug away, my friends!

Personally, my real life Win of the Week would have to be working out every day so far this week. I've been taking part in the most recent 6 Week Challenge over at Nerd Fitness (run by the awesome Steve Kamb). My workouts have been walking (aerobic) and body weight circuits (strength). This is very important to me, as it will help keep my lungs in tip-top shape, allowing for the fullest, longest life for me possible.

My virtual Win of the Week has to be my successful reentry into the blogosphere. After being gone for so long, it's difficult to find a rhythm again, but I think I've got this figured out. Of course, I start school next week, so that could really throw a wrench in my plans, but that's for then. For now, I'm stoked to be back!

So there you have it! Those are my Wins of the Week!

What about you? What has been your "real life" Win of the Week? What has been your "virtual" Win of the Week? This is your chance to shamelessly share yourself!

P.S. - I've been thinking for a long while about making my Win of the Week post a link-up, where those of you with blogs could participate by posting about your Win of the Week alongside me. Those without blogs could still comment, but this would really help to share the love with more people.

Would you be interested in this? Please let me know in the comments section!

To the Drifting Friendships

When we're young, nobody tells us the truth about friendships.

They don't tell us that people will move away.

They don't tell us that we might take different paths in life.

They certainly don't tell us that one of us might pass away unexpectedly.

There's a lot of pain and distrust tied up in the word "friendship."

This post is for those relationships lost, for those drifting away. For the people who you used to talk with every day, but can't remember the last time you heard their voice.

"The Way it Was" by T.E.

"This is a song I wrote after a close friend of mine, someone I talked to nearly every day, suddenly stopped talking to me. When I realized I was losing him, it was like losing a part of myself. After a couple days of moping around, I sat down and decided to write this song and tell him how I felt, even though he probably hasn't heard it and he has no idea it's about him. 

That's what writing is to me, though. It's my way of speaking to people when I'm too scared to tell them how I truly feel, and it's my way of coping with emotions I don't understand. 

 Thanks so much for listening."

Lyrics can be found here.

If this song resonates with you, share it with your friends. 

Also, please be sure to hop over to the YouTube page for this video and leave T.E. some feedback, as well as a quick thumbs up!

photo credit: Eastop - sxc.hu