Three Birds, One Stone

Disclaimer: I originally wrote this up on Easter, hence the Easter references. Enjoy!

Happy Easter! If ever there were a day to "start over" in life, it's today. After all, that Jesus guy up and walked his dead self out of his grave some 2000 years ago - a pretty big deal if you ask me. 

See that little quip up there? It's actually relevant today. Or it's supposed to be, anyway. We'll see if it is or not by the end of this post.

So today is Easter. I contemplated posting some tangential nonsense what Easter is actually about. However, I have a feeling that you'll be hearing plenty about that in the next 24 hours or so. Let me give you a little hint, though: it has nothing to do with those bright, colorful, delicious little chicks made out of sugar. You know what I'm talkin' about...

So instead of talking about the real meaning of Easter (Peeps, obviously), I'm going to talk about something mostly unrelated. I hope you'll forgive me. To make it up to you, I'd like to introduce you to something that I rather enjoy. This "something" is a list I've been (unofficially) keeping for about a year now. Let me just give you the list and see if you know what it's about...

• Amish husband
• Billy Goat
• Abe Lincoln
• Maynard G. Krebs
• Dr. Steve Davis
• Steel Wool
• Pharaoh
• A bush
• A paintbrush
• David Crowder
• A gnome 

So what on earth do a gnome and Abe Lincoln have in common? Well, besides being on this list together, nothing at all. Unless Lincoln was a gnome. In which case, well, I'm not really sure what to think.

If you didn't figure it out, this is what I like to call "The Beard List." It's a running list (sort of - I don't keep up with it very well) of the comparisons and ridiculous things that people say about my beard. Seriously. If you've ever met me, you know what I'm talking about. The Beard has a life of its own. Check out this Sportscenter commercial if you don't believe me. Fear the Beard, people.

What I'm really saying here is that if it weren't for my beard, I would have had about 5,786 less conversations in the last year. It just always seems to come up, regardless of where we are or who we are with. Usually, people say things like, "It just keeps growing!" or "How long has it been?" Or my personal favorite, "Does Kalyn like it?" I think you can imagine the answer to that last one.

For the record, though, this thing has been attached to my face for a very long time. I don't remember the last time I shaved it completely off. However, the last time I trimmed it to the wife's standards was nearly a year ago, in late May of 2010. I did it for our anniversary, because I tend to like her and would like her to continue liking me if at all possible. So what does all of this have to do with anything?

Well, people... The Beard is no more.

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Yup. Gone, like Frank Sinatra... Like Elvis and his mom... Gone.

Looking for some proof? Check it out.

BEFORE

This was actually just yesterday...

And this was this morning... Don't mind the bedhead.

AFTER

Oh, yeah. That just happened.

Wow. So call me lame, but doing that was actually nerve-wracking. A little, anyway. Regardless, though, it's for real. That "After" picture isn't Photoshopped at all (most because I can't afford Photoshop). Here's another picture to give you an idea of what just happened:

It's like I removed a gerbil from my face

In case you were wondering, the beard had grown to 6 inches. Yes, I measured. Yes, I double-checked. And yes, I realize that it wasn't quite enough for Locks of Love, but I cut it off anyway. Maybe some poor hairless chihuahua could use it. 

So, in case you were wondering, I just knocked off one of my goals for 2011: Shave my beard off completely (Goal 41). 

And I'm pretty sure I accomplished a LIFE GOAL! No joke. Here's what it was:
Grow a beard like David Crowder.

So what do you think? Life Goal achieved?

Finally, there's one last thing to knock off here - hence the title of 3 birds, instead of just 2 (which I don't even really get to begin with - who has ever hit two birds with one stone? And why didn't they try to get more?). Anyway, I'm hoping that I'm able to check another goal off of my 111 in 2011: Surprise Kalyn with something (Goal 111). Whether or not this actually works or not is pretty much a crapshoot, because Kalyn is a genius and somehow knows everything.

Either way, though, this is an epic day.

Because I shaved my beard? Possibly.
Because I achieved a life goal? Potentially.
Because Christ is risen? Most definitely.
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What sort of radical changes have you made to your life recently? Is there something radical you need to do today? Remember, that Jesus dude undied and did pretty well for himself on this day about 2000 years ago - talk about radical. 

Make something radical happen and let me know about it in a Comment! And while you're at it, Share this post, Subscribe, and Like the NEW Life Before the Bucket Facebook page!