A Smidgen of Regret

The internet I'm using right now is being as spastic as a chihuahua on Red Bull. So I apologize for any weirdness that might happen, including the random change in font for this post. Blame the chihuahua.

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 Have you ever done something and immediately regretted it? 

I know I have.

In fact, it happened here, on this very blog.

I wrote something, posted it, and immediately regretted it.

This wasn't the "Crap, I wrote a hateful post about Justin Bieber and need to apologize because that's what Christians are 'supposed' to do," kind of regret.

Nor was it the, "I don't know why I said the death of Osama bin Laden was a good/bad thing," kind of remorse.

It wasn't even the, "Crud, my wife is eventually going to read this," kind of mistake. And that one happens a lot.

And though I felt the sting of regret after hitting the "Publish" button for what I wrote, I definitely know I needed to share it. But that doesn't make me feel any less embarrassed.

So what is it? Well, if you keep reading, you'll find out.

I regret posting this.

In case you don’t want to click away and see what I’m talking about, allow me to fill you in. Some number of days ago, I wrote and confessed that I am a sucky Christian. I stand wholeheartedly by this admission to this day, and I’m not embarrassed a bit about that fact.

However, I am embarrassed a little by the information that I divulged in that post about how much of the Bible I haven’t read. In case you don’t remember, I counted and hadn’t read 34 books of the Bible. Or if I had read any of those books in their entirety, I couldn’t remember, so I obviously needed to read them again.

Well, slowly but surely, my embarrassment is motivating me. I’ve struggled, but I can confidently say that 34 is no longer the number of Biblical books I haven’t read. Nope!

I’m pretty pumped because now I only have to read 33 books.

Baby steps, Bob.

50 points for the first to comment with that movie reference.

Seriously, though, despite my embarrassment, I have been motivated. I finally finished up the book of Joshua a couple of weeks ago. I am now wading my way through Judges, happy that I’ve taken up this challenge, mostly because of the insane amount of war that I get to read about in the Old Testament.

And not to mention that story about King Eglon in Judges 3. Look it up. It brings a whole new meaning to “spilling your guts.”

All of that to say that, though regret, shame, remorse, and embarrassment may initially appear to be negative emotions, they can all serve a purpose. Feelings of regret or embarrassment can motivate better than any personal trainer you’ve seen on TV.

Yes, that does include the ones on the Biggest Loser.

If you’re feeling regret over something you’ve done, realize something right this second: you can’t change what happened. No matter how hard you try, and no matter how much you pray that Doc Brown really exists so that you can change the past, you can’t. And if you can, I want in on that ASAP. 

Meet Doc Brown. He can't help you because, well, he's not real.

Your regret is not going to change a single thing about the mistakes you’ve made, regardless of how seemingly silly or irrelevant it might seem.

So if you can’t change what has happened, think about what you can change. You can change what will happen. And thank God for that, because we’d all go nuts if we didn’t have at least an ounce of control over our lives. Am I right?

So although I regretted sharing the details of my suckiness with you, I think I’m glad I did. I’ve been able to take those feelings of shame and turn them into something productive: action. I’ve done something about my problem.

And now the tables turn.

It’s time for you to think for a moment. What’s something you’ve done recently that you’ve regretted? Have you let it go? Or do you still carry the weight of that regret with you? What can you tangibly do right this moment to ensure that things will change in the future, even if it won’t change the past? What can you do about your regret right this second?

Think about it. Meditate on it. Pray if you’re into that – I hear God is into helping people turn their lives around, after all.

Let me hear about it.

But most importantly, do something about it.

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  Seriously, let me hear about it (or anything else that's on your mind!) in a comment, an e-mail (awaller1990@gmail.com), or on the Life Before the Bucket Facebook page!