If You Love Me, You Will...

Saw a new doctor yesterday. He had a Keurig in his waiting room. Don't care what he charges or what he does - he's a keeper.

Tell me you've never seen this conversation play out before...

Love-Struck Girl: What are you doing tonight?

Clueless Boy: Watching the Royals get creamed by the Indians. Why?

Love-Struck Girl (Who Happens to Be Clueless About Baseball): We should go shopping!

Clueless Boy (Who Clearly Has Plans for the Night): Well, I'm busy. I'm watching the game, remember?

Quickly-Falling-Out-of-Love Girl: C'mon, just this once. I promise.

Not-So-Clueless Boy: Didn't you say that last week?

Definitely-Out-of-Love Girl: But... Well... If you love me, you'll go with me!

Clueless Boy: I... Uh... Well... 

Love-Struck Girl: Great! Pick me up at 7!

Puzzled and Clueless Boy: How DOES she do that?

You know what I'm talking about. Whether it's been with your spouse, your child, or your best friend, you've probably been in this situation before. One of you wants something that the other clearly doesn't care about. In a futile attempt to appeal to their heart, you guilt-trip them and get what you want, knowing that you'll get what's coming to you in the near future.

Now if you've somehow avoided this incredibly awkward conversation your entire life, congratulations. You should definitely write a book, because the rest of us need to know your secrets. And if you've somehow avoided this so far in your life, let me be the bearer of bad news: you're not going to be able to avoid it much longer.  

It's going to happen.  

Sooner than you think, in fact.

Much sooner. As in, "right now" sooner.

Oh yeah. I'm about to pull the "If you love me" card.

I promise I won't ask you to watch the NBA Playoffs with me. I also promise I won't make you take me out to coffee. In fact, I can guarantee I won't ask you to buy me some steak. But if you want to, be my guest. I'll welcome you with open arms.

Instead, I just want to ask a simple favor that will help Life Before the Bucket out, and ultimately, help you out. If you love me, you'll do it!

See what I did there?

What I need from you is simple. Just a quick couple of minutes and hardly any work at all. I need you to do me a HUGE favor... and download something.

I know that's scary. The Internet is riddled with junk that can destroy your computer, and I can't blame you for being scared. But I promise what I'm asking won't blow up your laptop or install some sort of software that allows me to see your every move and force you to "Like" the Life Before the Facebook page (though I wouldn't mind!).

Nope. No tricks here. I just want you to download a toolbar. It won't clutter up your computer or your browser, and you'll hardly notice it. It's called the Alexa toolbar. It's free, and it's free of any tricks or treats.

What the Alexa toolbar does is tracks hits to websites and then ranks the sites accordingly. So, for instance, Google has an Alexa ranking of #1. Yahoo is #4. And Life Before the Bucket? Well, right now it's chilling at #3,161,523. And actually, that's not too shabby - when I first downloaded the toolbar, it was ranked around #18,000,000.

I have a goal of getting into the top 1,000,000, which is a huge aspiration. But I think it can be done, and especially if you help me out.

So once again, if you love me, you will download this toolbar!

Seriously. It's quick, easy, and will help me out. And if I can get into the top 1,000,000, I can guarantee there will be a nice giveaway in store for you. I internet-pinky-promise. And thanks to those of you who do. As for those of you that don't... Well... I know who you are. And you're in the doghouse.

Okay, okay. I kid. But trust me when I say I know who you are and I know where you live!

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Have you ever been in one of those "if you love me" conversations? How did it go? Have you done something you didn't want to as a result of it? How do you get out of doing those things? Let me hear about it (or anything else that's on your mind!) in a comment, an e-mail (awaller1990@gmail.com), or on the Life Before the Bucket Facebook page!