So Simple, Yet So Hard

This post is part of my weekly Time for Honesty. I do my best to share something that's on my heart that is honest, sincere, and transparent - something that will get you thinking and get you to be honest with yourself.

If we're being honest (and by all indications, we are), then I have a confession to make:

I'm a little discouraged about blogging at the moment.

I've considered quitting. Posting less. Being ridiculously obnoxious and self-promoting. Doing more giveaways. Changing the layout. Changing the theme.

I've considered a lot of things, and I wonder what's brought on this disappointment.

Not "enough" people frequent Life Before the Bucket.

The fact that very few people in "real" life ever acknowledge my writing.

Just plain, ol' insecurity.

And really, the disappointment or discouragement I've been feeling is probably a combination of all of the above and more. But I keep my ultimate goal in mind: to change a life. One simple life. Even if just in one simple way. And if my goal is so important to me, why would I quit?

Who cares about pageviews or popularity? I don't in "real" life, so why should I "on here?" Or is it something deeper? Something deep-seeded within me that cries for love. That cries for someone to care and keep caring. That longs for people to know me and to see beyond my sickness and my pain.

This longing is within me, and yet, God is before me. Why is this solution so simple? And yet so difficult? Why must I spend my time trimming square pegs so I can pretend that they really do fit in circular holes? They don't. No matter how I frame it, my emptiness cannot - will not - be filled by things that I justify as being "of God."

He's the solution. It's just that easy.

So why is this equation so hard for me to understand?

Question: What have you been struggling with lately? What do you think the source of that struggle may be? What are some possible solutions?

The More the Merrier, Right?

It just started pouring and my first thought was, "How on earth is my rolling backpack going to survive the walk to school?"

My wife is amazing. She's beautiful. She's smart. And I learn from her every day.

Unfortunately, for the saps out there, this post isn't really about her. But I love bragging on her!

The other day she taught me a fact I didn't know. Apparently, on this new-fangled Facebook thing that I keep hearing about, people have, on average, 130 friends. 

In retrospect, I'm not sure what surprised me more. The actual number, or my ridiculous reaction:

"Is that all? Are you sure?"

First of all, my wife is always right. This is a scientifically proven fact. So I don't know why I ever ask, "Are you sure?" But even more surprising to me was my initial reaction. Is having 130 people to network with really not that many?

Goodness gracious we live in some weird times.

What sort of person needs more than 130 people to network with? In fact, when you divide yourself 130 ways, how much of you is really ever given to each of those people? How deep could those relationships truly be?

And then I think about my friends and me. I know very few people my age who have less than 500 "friends" on Facebook. Now, naturally, we know that this includes a few strays, so even if there's 50 people that we somehow managed to "approve" of, that still leaves 450 people to network with.

Who needs 450 friends?!

Not this guy.

Sadly, I'm not sure what to think of this. I finally "de-friended" a few people for the first time the other day. But then a few days later, I added a couple more to my list. And all along, I wonder how deep my friendships truly are. I wonder how committed I truly am to these people. I wonder, is it really possible for me to truly love these people? 

I'm not sure. The example I have set for me through Jesus' life is pretty clear. He had 12ish guys that he kept pretty tight with (which still sounds like a lot to me). And then there were about another 100 people that followed him around. And he had compassion for those people. He loved those people deeply. And he was God in the flesh. 

How on earth can I expect to one-up Jesus? Do I really think that I'm more masterful with relationships than he was? Do I truly believe that I'm capable of establishing meaningful, caring, and compassionate relationships with over 500 people?

Doubt it.

Moral of the story? We need to focus a little more in our relationships. We don't necessarily need to skip straight over to Facebook and purge our "friends" list, but we need to take inventory:

Who am I investing my time in?

Who am I showing love to on a regular basis?
 
Who am I allowing to love me? 

And in all of this, we need to remember: we can have 500 friendships that are an inch deep, but how much of an investment is an inch, really? Do I really care about someone if I'm only willing to give them an inch of who I am? Or do they deserve better? 

Question: What can you do today to deepen one (yes, just one) relationship in your life?

 

K.I.S.S.

Our apartment has this weird thing about not wanting to go below 80 degrees. I wish it knew how much I don't appreciate that.

It's Monday. The second Monday of the school year for us, to be precise. And if we're being honest here, the second Monday is much worse than the first. There's no more excitement. No more nervousness. No more "I don't have any homework due!"

Nope, the second Monday is what the first Monday really should be like.

Because this is true (and it is - I've done research), I've decided that today, I want to keep my post simple. Very, very simple. Which reminds me of a million different talks in a million different settings that have used to the acronym "K.I.S.S."

Keep it simple, stupid.

A couple of issues I have with this acronym (even though I'm using it:

First of all, since when is "it" worthy to be part of an acronym?

And if we're being all-inclusive here, what do we do about the comma?

This is just ludicrous, people. And no, I didn't mean Ludacris. Ludicrous. There's a difference. Barely.

With that being said (and since I've completely betrayed the fact that I wanted to keep this post "simple"), here's what I have for you today: a simple question. I know I ask questions everyday, but we're keeping it simple and avoiding my bad story-telling in lieu of the fact that it's the second Monday of the school year.

So my question for you today is this:

To you, what makes someone a leader?

That's it. Simple as that.

Think, reflect, answer.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Older

I got a rolling backpack in the mail the other day. It's pretty sweet and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the next big trend around here. Or maybe not...


Older

Being older today than I've ever been before is an odd thought. There's so much pressure. So much to learn from. I'm older than I was when I was living yesterday, but am I wiser for that time spent? Am I a better person because of that day?

And what about today? As I grow older in mind and body today, will I progress? Regress? Or simply hole up and give up?

Growing older feels helpless, and yet I look forward to it every day.

I see the growing pains in my actions. Though my body has stopped growing, my heart and mind haven't. I'm still learning to walk as a toddler in mind in this world, and every once in a while, I still fall.

Meanwhile, my body struggles. I cannot breathe like I could 4 years ago. I can't run like I could 4 years ago. I can't even carry a backpack like I could 4 years ago. And I'm not much older than I was then.

But my mind is still young. It's still in its infancy. My heart still beats fervently, as if it were the first day that its ever had.

I'm excited to be older. And I'm excited that each day, I'm older than the next. Being older in body may be painful. But being older in mind and in heart seems to give me a new lease on life. It invigorates me and inspires me. And it lets me lead others to be as excited about living as I am.

End.

Question: Do you enjoy growing older? What about it is good? What about it is discouraging? Surprising?

Today's post was a part of The Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday! Check it out if you're interested!

Progress

I just spent an hour trying to figure out how to fix my Keurig. Turns out all I needed to do was burp it like a 2 month old. But much more vigorously.

School started back up this week.

Inevitably, this means I'm back to my life of conversating about facial hair approximately 43% of the time.

So, in the interest of sheer curiosity on your part (because there was obviously a demand for this post... just kidding!), I'd like to bring you a photo-op, featuring none other than...

My beard!

I know, I know, you can't contain your excitement.

About 4 months ago, I completely rid The Beard of its glory. 

The Beard in its Former Glory:

The Post-Fall Beard:

About Four Months Later:

I'd say The Beard is making a strong comeback. It may never reach its full potential again (because I enjoy having a happy marriage), but it's definitely alive and well.

I know, I know, you were concerned for it. You can lay your fears to rest.

So yes, I realize there isn't much point to this post, but I figure it's good to have fun and not need to learn something or reflect on something from time to time. Sometimes, you just need to smile and remember "the good ol' days."

Question: When you think of "the good ol' days," what comes to mind?

I'd love to hear from you! Just drop me a comment or an e-mail, and share this post with your friends while you're at it!

I Wish it Was Obvious

This post is part of my weekly Time for Honesty. I do my best to share something that's on my heart that is honest, sincere, and transparent - something that will get you thinking and get you to be honest with yourself.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see how tired I am. How worn out my body is. How I feel well for about 2-3 hours a day.

Sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see that I'm not coughing because I'm nervous. I'm not coughing because I have a cold. I'm coughing because (ironically), it helps me get better.

Sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see when I'm walking next to you to your dorm room how hard it is for me to keep up with you. I don't choose to walk slowly; it's the only way I know to get around.

Sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

I wish you could see that when I miss class, it is because I'm tired. But not because I haven't slept. I'm sick, you see. I'm always sick.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

And then I realize.

God sees me in my pain.

He sees my tiredness. He knows why I cough so much. He understands that it's hard for me to keep up. He gets that sometimes, sleep just isn't enough.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish it was obvious.

And then I remember.

To him, it is.

Question: Do you deal with anything that you wish was more obvious to others?

I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else)! Just drop me a comment or send me an e-mail!

All Natural Air Freshener

So I woke up at 4:45 AM for the first time this school year. And yes, it's only the second day of school. I see how this year is going to be.

Today, I want to talk about one of my favorite goals for this year: Goal #10.

Why exactly is it one of my favorites, you ask? And why am I talking about it? 

Oh, you didn't ask? Well, sadly, I misheard you, so you're going to have to hear me out.

Allow me to enlighten you:

My Reasons for Loving Goal #10 on my 111 in 2011:

A. It's goal 10, which just an awfully nice number. Easy to remember. Easy to divide. Easy to conquer.

B. It involves my wonderful wife, Kalyn, who is by far my favorite. Except Jesus (most days). And it involves making her happy, which always seems to bode well for me.

C. It also involves flowers, which aren't my favorite thing in the world, but they smell good, and thus help ward off the "there's clearly a dead weasel in the basement" odor that currently permeates our house.

Oh, wait, you don't know what Goal #10 is?

Well, that's tough.

Last time I checked, you didn't even want to know why it's one of my favorite goals.

Just kidding.

Goal #10 for 2011 in my book involves buying my beautiful wife (as already mentioned) a truckload of flowers (sort of already mentioned). Not a literal truckload, mind you, but only because we don't have a truck. More like a truckload in the sense that there is a truck somewhere full of them and I'm supposed to bring them to her, one bouquet at a time.


This week, I chose these flowers. I like them. She likes them. Dillon's likes to sell them to me. So we're all happy campers around here. Except that weasel. Someone really needs to do something about him...

Do either you or your spouse enjoy flowers? What about them do you like? What other sort of nice things have you intentionally done for them this year?

I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else)! Leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail, and if you enjoyed this post, share it with your friends!

This Past Week

School starts today and I'm already planning on dropping a class. Darn sickness.

I'm baaaack.... again!

Okay, I admit it. You probably didn't miss me nearly as much as I'd like to think you did. After all, who takes two separate week-long breaks from their blog in one summer? That's just not very nice, if you ask me. 

Hopefully, though, you haven't forgotten about me. This last week has seemed like the longest non-blogging week ever - I swear it lasted at least a month.

And in case you were wondering, I've done a lot in the past week since I've been gone.

Did I mentioned I missed you?

Here's what I did...

Spent two and a half hours of my life enrolling for school.
Got my $4,000/month medicine... again.
Finished another book in the Bible (one of my goals for the year!).
Watched some more episodes of Psych.
Got to attend what I would call my "home" church (even though it's not in my hometown!).

Here's what I didn't do...

Wrestle a bear.
Re-design the blog.
Finish Radical Together.
Go skydiving.
Anything that required walking more than about 20 feet.

So as you can see, my week off was pretty productive, and yet unproductive at the same time! I mean, who goes a week without wrestling a bear?! A pretty lame week if you ask me.

I ramble, though, mainly to let you know that I'm thankful if you're still around and reading Life Before the Bucket. It's one of the small joys I have in my life and I enjoy sharing it with you. Though I've been more sick than usual as of late, I figure that if taking breaks from blogging helps me continue to blog in the long-run, then it's a good thing. Oh, and then there's that whole getting better from the sickness thing, too (yeah, right).

But since school is starting back up again today, I figure I need to resume blogging regularly, mostly for my sanity. And maybe a little for yours. So, as you can guess, things will be returning to pseudo-normalcy around here this week. And I liiiiike it. Hope you do too!

Sick of Being Sick

Hola, friends!

I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be taking another week-long break, as I did earlier in the summer. The infection in my lungs (the bacteria is called pseudomonas if you want to look it up) went away, but now it's back and kicking my butt.

In the meantime, I'm hoping I'll be able to find time to renovate the good ol' blog - I found a layout that I think I want to implement that is similar to the one that I'm currently using.

Have a good week, and don't miss me too much!

Beauty

In the next 3 days, we'll be in 3 different cities. Gonna be crazy!

It's Friday. And a pretty special Friday, at that. This is the last free Friday I'll have this summer, so I'm relishing in that today.

Part of that relishing (which is a weird word, by the way) includes, as usual...

Five Minute Friday!

If you're a little clueless, allow me to fill you in. Three simple rules:

1. 5 minutes to write - no more, no less. And no editing! Just write!

2. Link back to The Gypsy Mama (where this all originates from!)

3. Go comment on the blog who "links up" (via The Gypsy Mama) before you!

Simple enough, eh?

Here's today's topic:

Beauty

Ready... Set... Go!

You've Got a Friend in Me

For some reason, we checked out like 10 library books, but we leave town on Sunday. We're a little odd.

I'm ecstatic.

(I don't get ecstatic very often.)

You see, I've got a follow-up post for you today from yesterday's post (you should read if you haven't already). And it's much happier - I swear.

You see, I posted yesterday about discovering that a few people really don't give a rip about me. Today, though, I'm turning that 180 and posting about a couple of people that I really care about and that I'd wager have taken a liking to me as well.

Why is this necessary, you ask? Well, for starters, I like it when people like me, and I like to tell others about those people, because they're rockin' awesome. Mainly, though, it was a goal of mine this year (as part of my 111 in 2011) to make a new friend.

And you know what? I one-upped myself - I made two friends!

An Important Lesson Learned

This post is part of my weekly Time for Honesty. I do my best to share something that's on my heart that is honest, sincere, and transparent - something that will get you thinking and get you to be honest with yourself.

There’s a few things that I’ve learned about myself in the last 21 years: 

1. I’m skinny. Ridiculously so. There’s no getting past that.

2. I tan like nobody’s business… when I have time to get in the sun.

3. I’m very friendly and likeable, for the most part.

Now, as you can imagine, I’m not here to be “honest” about being skinny or about my incredible propensity for getting an awesome tan, though both of those things are very true. Instead, I want to share with you an important lesson I’ve learned first-hand this summer:

It’s okay a good thing if not everybody likes you.

In fact, my mother-in-law said just the other day,

“If everybody likes you, you’re lying to someone.”

 She had no clue how right she was.

Guest Post from Page Traveler Tales

Rise and shine! Today we have an awesome guest post from Darci over at Page Traveler Tales! I love her blog, and I think you would too, so go on over and check it out. And leave her some love here for her awesome writing!

Guest Post from Page Traveler Tales

I really like this blog.

Like, seriously.

I laughed out loud the first time I pulled it up, because (1) the movie The Bucket List is hilarious, and (2) my husband and I have actually made a bucket list of our own!

I looked for it to write this post, but was, sadly, unsuccessful. So I'll just tell you a few things that I remember being on there...

Keep in mind, however, that some of these are ridiculously and completely impossible. We know this, but in my opinion, writing it down and hoping that it might, somehow, someway, by luck or chance or fate or blessing come to pass, makes me happy.

A Bittersweet Accomplishment

I'm sitting next to a piece of paper that simply says, "Don't placate me." I have no clue what my family was up to last night.

It's Monday, the beginning of a new work week, and...

I don't have to go to work!

It's a beautiful thing, really. But at the same time, it's very bittersweet. Allow me to enlighten you:

Keep Your Friends Close & Keep Your Enemies Closer

Today's post is another review that I wrote for the Blogging for Books program. Enjoy!

I chose to read Andy Stanley’s Enemies of the Heart for a number of reasons:

1. It had a nifty looking cover.

2. I’ve heard of Andy Stanley, which means the book has to be good, right? (Don’t mind that I’ve never read anything written by him.)

3. It was available on Kindle, which is always a bonus.

4. I was actually interested in the topic of the book.

And though I’ve been prone to delivering rather cynical and negative reviews as of late, I was pleasantly surprised with this book. It was one of those books I actually wanted to read in my spare time, instead of feeling obliged for whatever reason. And it actually made a few good points.

The premise of the book is that we don’t look at the condition of our hearts nearly enough. Instead, we fix our behaviors and then wonder why we blow up at people and are unsure of why it happens. Stanley proposes that if this is the case, there’s a “heart” problem.

The book is organized well, addressing the four sicknesses of our hearts that Stanley has concocted: anger, guilt, greed, and jealousy. Without a doubt, we’ve all experienced each of these things at some point in our lives or another. Stanley does well to examine why these sicknesses exist and then proposes tangible solutions to those problems, not just clichés such as “pray more” or “trust God.”

After the what, the why, and the how are examined, Stanley wraps up the book by touching on leaving a legacy and leading by example for our children and addresses lust, another heart condition that is a little different from the other four (but important nonetheless).

Ultimately, though, this book is well put-together, well thought out, thorough (yet concise!), and it makes you think and moves you to action. What more could you ask for?

(I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.) 

Whole

Today is our last day as interns at the Pregnancy Crisis Center. I'm not gonna lie - we're pretty bummed to be leaving and might go visit next week already.

It's Friday, Friday, Friday...!

(Sorry, I haven't made a Rebecca Black reference in a long time. Couldn't help myself.)

And if you've been around here for a Friday before,  you know what that means!

Five Minute Friday!

Here's the deal-io, yo (why, yes, I'm weird - forgive me):

1. Write for 5 minutes flat about a given prompt from The Gypsy Mama without editing.
2. Invite your peeps to check out The Gypsy Mama and link up to her!
3. Go visit and comment on the blog of the person who linked up before you.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

(Goodness gracious, I don't know where all of these weird words are coming from. I'll understand if this is the last time you're ever here.)

Alrighty, then. Today's prompt is...

Whole

Ready... Set... Go!

A Response

I had a breathing test at the doctor yesterday that showed improvement from last time! Now if I could just figure out why I keep waking up so early...

So, as I mentioned yesterday, God is being awfully funny this summer. And the fun just keeps rolling.

Here's the deal: I wrote a week ago about how I was starting to doubt God because things were getting a little tight in our bank account. He had always provided money from very unexpected places before, but this time, I wasn't sure he was going to pull through.

"Maybe those were just flukes - not God."

I pondered.

"Maybe I haven't been 'faithful' enough."

I reflected.

"Maybe he doesn't want to help me out again."

So I prayed.

And prayed. And prayed some more. I was sick of the racing thoughts, of the hypothetical situations. I simply wanted resolution so I wouldn't have to worry about money anymore (because I never had before).

And then it happened. God answered. Not audibly, but actively. His actions spoke words that I never would have expected:

"Adrian, I'm still here for you. All you needed to do was ask, and you did. Thanks for continuing to rely on me in times of need and times of abundance."

I mean, maybe that wasn't God's exact thoughts - in fact, I'd bet it wasn't. But that's a piece of the message I received as God answered my prayer last week after I wrote about my struggle. And for those of you who wonder about details, allow me to be stray from being politically correct and share with you some details of how God provided.

After God provided, we now have literally 50% more money to spend on food this year. And that's huge, because the money we were spending before, we didn't really have.

After God provided, we had a "bill" of sorts that was completely eliminated.

After God provided, we realized that we could completely give back the student loans we had to take out for Kalyn this semester. We don't need a dime of it.

After God provided, we realized that we're suddenly in abundance. We can not only provide for ourselves, but for others' needs as well.

I've shared this in the hope that you'll see that God is good and he does want to be there for you. Whether you lack money, warmth, a place to stay, love, comfort, or anything else you can think of, God wants to be there for you.

Let him today.

How is your relationship with God? High? Low? Non-existent? Are you in love with him or bitter with him? Why?

I'd love to hear from you about this (or anything else)! Just drop me a comment or send me an e-mail!

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends! And while you're at it, find a way to "follow" Life Before the Bucket!

I Expect Better

This post is part of my weekly Time for Honesty. I do my best to share something that's on my heart that is honest, sincere, and transparent - something that will get you thinking and get you to be honest with yourself.

God is being awfully funny this summer.

He is testing every single facet of my life in which I feel I am strongest.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my recent struggle about trusting God with our finances - something I'm usually very "good" at doing (whatever that means). 

Now that I've got that figured out (for now), God has decided to pinpoint another "strength" that I have: my ability to forgive.

A Simple Way to Better Yourself Right Now

Alright, my fellow Bucketeers! We have another wonderful guest post this week! Today I'm featuring Seth from Life as Experienced, and I'm really excited about what he has to say! Leave him a wonderful comment or 2 (or 3!) and check out his blog. Dooooo it!

A Simple Way to Better Yourself Right Now

Normally I set a list of goals each year.  I’m one of those guys who loves checking stuff off his to-do list each day, and even my big “To Do In (insert year)” list.  Every year there is one item that always seems to make it onto my annual list, and I’ve become more and more confident that it belongs on everyone’s list.  The item that holds my number 1 spot year after year is… “Read.”  The longer I live, (which hasn’t been too long thus far) the more convinced I am that reading is the easiest way to consistently better yourself.

Through books we have the chance to learn from some of the smartest people: both living and dead.  I can sit down with a cup of coffee and hear from C. S. Lewis or St. Augustine, John Grisham or Shakespeare.  I have the chance to read stories from master storytellers who have been around much longer than television.  I can listen to theological or philosophical arguments from individuals who are way more intelligent than I am. 

Me: Why is there pain and suffering?

C.S. Lewis: “The Problem of Pain”

Me: Tell me about how you experienced God.

St. Augustine: “Confessions of St. Augustine”

Me: Tell me a story

John Grisham: “The Rainmaker”

Me: What about a love story?

Shakespeare: “Romeo and Juliet”

See what I mean?  I can consult leading experts on everything from how to install a toilet to how to build a strong marriage (I’ve read books on both of those things).  Reading can challenge, entertain, encourage, mentor, manipulate, humor, enlighten, or anything else.

If I told you I knew a foolproof way to better yourself, you’d probably be interested, right?  Most people would without a doubt.  Yet I know way too many people who claim they don’t have time to read; they don’t have the patience for reading, or who just aren’t interested in literature.  Self-improvement always takes some work:  exercise, loving others, public speaking, sports, etc.  Take some time today to find a good book and start reading.  If you don’t start now, you’re just putting off improving yourself.

What are you reading right now?  What book would you recommend I read?

Another Day, Another Goal Achieved

I'm pretty sure someone ate the cord to my Zune. If you'd politely give that back, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Man, it's been awhile.  

I don't even remember the last time I posted about achieving a goal!

Luckily, the year is long and it gives me a long time to check everything off of my 111 for 2011. And this weekend, I was finally able to achieve a goal TWO goals!

How, you ask?

By seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 in IMAX!